Aa
19 free from Oxcodone, but.....
My anxiety is off the charts the last two days. Have been trying to taper down on the clonazapam. Only started using it 3 days into detox. Was taking 2....2-1/2. Tapered to 1-1/2 over the last week. Now down to I can't even leave the house. Went to the Dollar Store with my daughter to get some things for her and the my grandaughter. I couldn't hack it. Had to get out....I was almost yelling at her to get the DAMN STUFF so we could leave. Just wanted to get back here to my house. Is this post detox or from tapering the Klonapin...?
.I mean what the @#$%?! Days 7 thru 15 I was really feeling good. Now I'm a wreck. Smoking like a chimney....and REALLY wanting something to take the edge off. almost panic attack level. a drink would be nice but I quit that crap 2 years ago. No desire to go back. I swear it's good I got no access to opiates right now because I would use. Not even gonna lie. I might be an a$$hole but I'm an honest one.....SMH...Discouraged, and that's putting it kindly.
Peace
.I mean what the @#$%?! Days 7 thru 15 I was really feeling good. Now I'm a wreck. Smoking like a chimney....and REALLY wanting something to take the edge off. almost panic attack level. a drink would be nice but I quit that crap 2 years ago. No desire to go back. I swear it's good I got no access to opiates right now because I would use. Not even gonna lie. I might be an a$$hole but I'm an honest one.....SMH...Discouraged, and that's putting it kindly.
Peace
Best Answer
Lol Yeah I gotta keep a positive attitude or I'd just quit. Idk what the hell happened. This, with my condition, was my biggest fear during CT. But it never happened. Until now.....when I was having a good day breathing wise. I've tried saline and Breathe-right strips so far. Just half plugged but it is defeating my hard work. And anxiety is creeping in. Thinking of going to get some afrin. And that is somewhere I don't want to go. Been down that road and fought that battle, But I'm pretty sure I'll be deperate enough to run to maverick and get some soon.....arrrrgh!
You have such a wonderful attitude though. Being able to laugh at the ridiculous things that you deal with is wonderful. That has helped me along the way bigtime.
Just to give you an example, and let you laugh at someone else for a minute...I'll share some terribly embarrassing (yet true) info.
I'm a self prophesed poop-a-phobe. Yes, indeedy. My panic-related phobia relates to the EXTREME urgency of number 2 that comes along with a panic attack. God forbid I ever have a panic attack too far away from a BR (and by too far I mean more than about 2 foot...lol)...oh boy...forget about it. I think I probably have the toughest bum cheek muscles in North America.
And just like any other anxiety-induced fear, that causes the MOST anxiety in me, and makes me "what if" until my head hurts. "What if I soil myself?" "What if I have an accident while trying to find a bathroom?". And I tell you, when you worry about something long enough...soon, very strange things become normal in your head. Like, sure, it's TOTALLY normal for a 40 yr old woman to consider wearing adult diapers, preventatively. Sure, sure sure. Thankfully, I haven't gotten to that point yet...although if I ever do, I have the PERFECT pair of pants picked out for my diaper-wearing outings...pajama jeans!! It's like they were MADE for me...comfort, durability and style...all rolled up in one...perfect incontinent pants.
Mind you, in the decades I've been worrying about this, it's never ever happened. Just like the person who worries about a heart attack, or falling over, or passing out, or being locked away in a psych facility (they DO have incontinent briefs there, don't they?)...seldom do these things REALLY ever get as bad as we imagine them to be...(that's called catastrophizing, btw...imagining the worst case scenario).
So, while this is all TMI, I don't mind sharing....it's important to know that there are lots of other "normal" (as normal as that can be..lol) people who struggle with the crap (ah!! pun not intended!!! Now I'm getting nervous...lol) that anxiety and panic bring us. I've come a long way, but I also have accepted that this is one worry that's always going to be a package deal with my panic. And, since I've learned to laugh about it a little bit, it takes some of the scariness and patheticness out of it for me. My dearest hubby has even joined in, and we've had some good laughs. For instance, he laughs that every one of our vehicles comes standard with a spare roll of TP. Some people have a security blanket...some people have a roll of Charmin. Tis life! ;0)
Just to give you an example, and let you laugh at someone else for a minute...I'll share some terribly embarrassing (yet true) info.
I'm a self prophesed poop-a-phobe. Yes, indeedy. My panic-related phobia relates to the EXTREME urgency of number 2 that comes along with a panic attack. God forbid I ever have a panic attack too far away from a BR (and by too far I mean more than about 2 foot...lol)...oh boy...forget about it. I think I probably have the toughest bum cheek muscles in North America.
And just like any other anxiety-induced fear, that causes the MOST anxiety in me, and makes me "what if" until my head hurts. "What if I soil myself?" "What if I have an accident while trying to find a bathroom?". And I tell you, when you worry about something long enough...soon, very strange things become normal in your head. Like, sure, it's TOTALLY normal for a 40 yr old woman to consider wearing adult diapers, preventatively. Sure, sure sure. Thankfully, I haven't gotten to that point yet...although if I ever do, I have the PERFECT pair of pants picked out for my diaper-wearing outings...pajama jeans!! It's like they were MADE for me...comfort, durability and style...all rolled up in one...perfect incontinent pants.
Mind you, in the decades I've been worrying about this, it's never ever happened. Just like the person who worries about a heart attack, or falling over, or passing out, or being locked away in a psych facility (they DO have incontinent briefs there, don't they?)...seldom do these things REALLY ever get as bad as we imagine them to be...(that's called catastrophizing, btw...imagining the worst case scenario).
So, while this is all TMI, I don't mind sharing....it's important to know that there are lots of other "normal" (as normal as that can be..lol) people who struggle with the crap (ah!! pun not intended!!! Now I'm getting nervous...lol) that anxiety and panic bring us. I've come a long way, but I also have accepted that this is one worry that's always going to be a package deal with my panic. And, since I've learned to laugh about it a little bit, it takes some of the scariness and patheticness out of it for me. My dearest hubby has even joined in, and we've had some good laughs. For instance, he laughs that every one of our vehicles comes standard with a spare roll of TP. Some people have a security blanket...some people have a roll of Charmin. Tis life! ;0)
Thanks for the info. I really appreciate it. After my 1 and a 1/2 mile jog I was feeling good. Breathing easy. Then I get in the bath and something, soap...dirt...idk...causes my nose to stuff up. God I can't win for losing. I am truly self defeating lol. So this will be a step backwards. I hate my freakin allergies. Anyway...I'll definitely check this out.
Peace and again, many thanks.
Jimi
Peace and again, many thanks.
Jimi
WOW nursegirl that was some HOT INFO I came back to jimmi post because my mom deals with this. Alot of dr I work around do not even know this info they just want to keep giving her the benzo and I read somewhere that long use of anxiety pills will end up giving you more anxiety then you had.......
God Bless us all
THANKS
vickie
God Bless us all
THANKS
vickie
Oh yes!! That's fantastic! Exercise is one of the best things for anxiety. Now, if you told me you were JUST going to go out and start running, heck no! Because obviously then you WOULD be very short of breath, and that would probably trigger the HVS more.
Since you're a runner, you can take advantage of something. Next time you run, after you're done, pay close attention to your body, how your heart feels, along with the rapid breathing. You could even write down how you're feeling in a little journal (I know, journals are for GIRLS! LOL)
That's a great idea, because it sort of gives the brain a "default" to remember. When you feel dyspneic with the HVS, you can compare the sensations and remind yourself that what you're feeling is psychosomatic more than anything. When you have a more severe episode of HVS, again, take a minute to write down some details. Eventually, if you do that enough, you'll be able to pinpoint very clear differences...and be able to better compare the two. That gives your brain reassurance that your symptoms with the HVS is NOT a TRUE labored breathing issue...at least that way, the panic doesn't worsen with the HVS symptoms. What has to happen is you have to stop it in its tracks, and the best way to approach that is from the anxiety angle (versus trying to "treat" the breathing symptoms). The more detailed your descriptions, the better.
This is a similar premise that docs sometimes use, they will have a patient induce a REAL hyperventilation situation, so that there is that comparison for the patient (and the patient's brain) to make. Then, when the symptoms occur again, the person can refer back to the induced hyperntilation sensations, and usually that will help a lot. For you to do the same thing with comparing your rapid respiratory rate from running...it accomplishes the same thing...you have something to refer to that basically "discredits" the anxiety-induced symptoms.
Of course, as with any kind of anxiety, distraction and staying busy is your friend! The more you just sit and focus on how you're feeling, the worse you'll feel. Just try to be a little kind to yourself right now...as your increase in anxiety IS very much related to the tapering of the Klonopin. It will improve.
How long have you been dealing with panic? Do you think your oxy use was a way to self medicate for the anxiety? That's all too common. The good news is...there ARE many different ways to address panic and anxiety. Have you ever tried a medication, like an SSRI? I know that's a bit of a controversial subject for an addict, as many will say that isn't a lot different than self medicating with anything else, you are altering your brain chemistry, however, I'm a firm believer in the need to treat anxiety...even if it means a person has to take an antidepressant for the rest of their lives. An addict who self medicated for an anxiety disorder or depression seldom ends up abusing an antidepressant.
I was diagnosed with panic disorder at 18, and Zoloft and therapy literally gave me my life back. I was at the point where I basically housebound, the panic was so bad. If you have never entertained the idea of taking a med, you could always ask your PCP for a referral to a psychiatrist to discuss it. That would be good too, because you could share your addiction history as well, and if you were being managed on a med, you would be more closely monitored by someone other than yourself. Plus, since you're not really easily able to access a therapist, a med may be a reasonable option. Something to think about anyway.
Here are a few resources that I think are pretty good. Now, SOME sites are completely free, some offer a portion of their resources for free, but charge to have full access to more exercises. Obviously, stay away from any site that is offering a "cure". I especially love the ones that offer a cure for anxiety in like 3 days. Oh gee! I've wasted how many decades on anxiety when YOU people have the answers that will cure me in 3 days? RATS! LOL
The one link is great...it lists a whole bunch of different sites, what each offers, and if there is payment required. The MoodGym site is a good one, but there is a cost involved. Anything that offers workbooks, interactive exercises, and trackers is a good starting place.
Another GREAT option is to have your doc or therapist REFER you to an online program. A really good one is Fear Fighter. You actually would GET some online therapy sessions, along with lots of other useful tools. That's why if you could get hooked up with the right professional, you could have access to more resources.
Check out Fear Fighter here (to get a basic idea):
http://www.fearfighter.com/
Multiple Links:
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/links2.htm
Pretty decent site:
http://serene.me.uk/
Getting your anxiety and panic to a more manageable level is absolutely possible...it will just take some time and some work (and patience, which us anxious people have very little of). Too many people think they can just go to therapy once a month and should be better. Sadly, doesn't work that way...people have to put in some work themselves in order to change that mindset. Anxiety treatment will help you so much with your addiction issues too, and vice versa. Treating one will help the other, no doubt.
Feel free to PM me if you ever have any anxiety questions, or need something. Hope you feel better soon!
Since you're a runner, you can take advantage of something. Next time you run, after you're done, pay close attention to your body, how your heart feels, along with the rapid breathing. You could even write down how you're feeling in a little journal (I know, journals are for GIRLS! LOL)
That's a great idea, because it sort of gives the brain a "default" to remember. When you feel dyspneic with the HVS, you can compare the sensations and remind yourself that what you're feeling is psychosomatic more than anything. When you have a more severe episode of HVS, again, take a minute to write down some details. Eventually, if you do that enough, you'll be able to pinpoint very clear differences...and be able to better compare the two. That gives your brain reassurance that your symptoms with the HVS is NOT a TRUE labored breathing issue...at least that way, the panic doesn't worsen with the HVS symptoms. What has to happen is you have to stop it in its tracks, and the best way to approach that is from the anxiety angle (versus trying to "treat" the breathing symptoms). The more detailed your descriptions, the better.
This is a similar premise that docs sometimes use, they will have a patient induce a REAL hyperventilation situation, so that there is that comparison for the patient (and the patient's brain) to make. Then, when the symptoms occur again, the person can refer back to the induced hyperntilation sensations, and usually that will help a lot. For you to do the same thing with comparing your rapid respiratory rate from running...it accomplishes the same thing...you have something to refer to that basically "discredits" the anxiety-induced symptoms.
Of course, as with any kind of anxiety, distraction and staying busy is your friend! The more you just sit and focus on how you're feeling, the worse you'll feel. Just try to be a little kind to yourself right now...as your increase in anxiety IS very much related to the tapering of the Klonopin. It will improve.
How long have you been dealing with panic? Do you think your oxy use was a way to self medicate for the anxiety? That's all too common. The good news is...there ARE many different ways to address panic and anxiety. Have you ever tried a medication, like an SSRI? I know that's a bit of a controversial subject for an addict, as many will say that isn't a lot different than self medicating with anything else, you are altering your brain chemistry, however, I'm a firm believer in the need to treat anxiety...even if it means a person has to take an antidepressant for the rest of their lives. An addict who self medicated for an anxiety disorder or depression seldom ends up abusing an antidepressant.
I was diagnosed with panic disorder at 18, and Zoloft and therapy literally gave me my life back. I was at the point where I basically housebound, the panic was so bad. If you have never entertained the idea of taking a med, you could always ask your PCP for a referral to a psychiatrist to discuss it. That would be good too, because you could share your addiction history as well, and if you were being managed on a med, you would be more closely monitored by someone other than yourself. Plus, since you're not really easily able to access a therapist, a med may be a reasonable option. Something to think about anyway.
Here are a few resources that I think are pretty good. Now, SOME sites are completely free, some offer a portion of their resources for free, but charge to have full access to more exercises. Obviously, stay away from any site that is offering a "cure". I especially love the ones that offer a cure for anxiety in like 3 days. Oh gee! I've wasted how many decades on anxiety when YOU people have the answers that will cure me in 3 days? RATS! LOL
The one link is great...it lists a whole bunch of different sites, what each offers, and if there is payment required. The MoodGym site is a good one, but there is a cost involved. Anything that offers workbooks, interactive exercises, and trackers is a good starting place.
Another GREAT option is to have your doc or therapist REFER you to an online program. A really good one is Fear Fighter. You actually would GET some online therapy sessions, along with lots of other useful tools. That's why if you could get hooked up with the right professional, you could have access to more resources.
Check out Fear Fighter here (to get a basic idea):
http://www.fearfighter.com/
Multiple Links:
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/links2.htm
Pretty decent site:
http://serene.me.uk/
Getting your anxiety and panic to a more manageable level is absolutely possible...it will just take some time and some work (and patience, which us anxious people have very little of). Too many people think they can just go to therapy once a month and should be better. Sadly, doesn't work that way...people have to put in some work themselves in order to change that mindset. Anxiety treatment will help you so much with your addiction issues too, and vice versa. Treating one will help the other, no doubt.
Feel free to PM me if you ever have any anxiety questions, or need something. Hope you feel better soon!
Well less running than walking lol. But walking at a good clip. I was actually walking a mile on this thing on day 4. It kept me sane...
Jimi
Jimi
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Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
people get that confused out here.It is non-addictive does not get to the pleasure brain or mess with the chem/transmitter I call them. OH yes I live 50 miles from the canada border and I have LOTS of MOOSE in my yard every winter. They are so differnt looking. I have had alot of experience getting out of there way or when driving down my dirt road you have to wait until they move. If you beep they will charge. We have lots of other animals dear, elk, bear, ect it is Gods land up here if you can survie the snow. One yr we had 6-7 feet The satalite was under the snow. I might put a picture in my profile. Anyway keep posting you will get over it all as you know.
God Bless
vickie