20 days clean and still feeling awkward!!!!! Pleaase Help???

[Norcodude39]

Hello everyone. Im very proud to say I have 20 days clean after about 3 years of abuse from norco 10-325s. I was taking between 15-20 a day. I felt completely horrible for the first week and now I just hate everything. I have no motivation for anything. Im making myself get up and go to work. I do not want anything to do with those Devils ever again. I just really need to hear about people feeling better. Im still not sleeping well and although Im eating much better and taking vitamins I still have anxiety and horrible mood swings. I remembered when I was on pills I could do anything I felt invinsible. I also remember how productive I used to be before the pills working out all the time always lending a hand to whomever and actually careing about my life. I just feel like the partys over and Im 39 now and I dont drink due to alcoholism. I quit drinking 5 years ago and found the pills about 4 years ago and started abusing them about 3 years ago. I was always a go getter type of person. I just feel extremely lazy and have nothing to look forward to anymore. Im once again going for my dream job that I gave up due to an arrest for being drunk. Im being as honest as possible I just dont feel like doing anything. Im making new friends in AA/NA but i just feel so horrible all the time. I was prescribed zoloft 11 years ago and have been taking it ever since no matter what Im wondering if the norcos somehow changed me? What happened to all my energy and enthusiam for life? I have 2 college degrees and work at a pizza place right now just to get by. I honestly dont know what happened to me. Every morning I want to feel great and tackle my day but Im just depressed or something. Trust me I AM NOT thinking about hurting myself or anything at all I just want to feel normal. I feel so alone because I read all these posts and people taking back charge of their lives and doing many new things but all I want to do is go home and sleep. Im totally broke but getting by right now and am just hopeing the old me will return soon. Am I the only one who feels like this? I know I only have 20 days clean but its the longest Ive ever had and thru GOD I am sober today and these last 20 days. Im just waiting for my life to get better and get me motivated again. Any help would be so much appreciated.

[Notaslaveanymore]

Hey..I can relate with you and everyone here! This is my 12th (approx.) detox and Im only on day two,. The physical isnt so bad.,,Ive had way worse withdrawals..but its the mental thats scaring the hell out of me. Im so afraid of not being 'me' again. Hell,,,I was superwoman on those things,. Very energetic, productive, fun, social, omg...you name it. buts its a living hell that I am living alone. noone knows I relapsed...and its hell keeping it a seceret and doing it alone., Im afraid people will wonder why Im still "sick with flu-like stuff"..and why im not "myself" anymore. And im petrifried at the thought of feeling real emotion, as I have been masking some very bad emotions with a drug induced haze- I just got out of a 9 year relationship that was going to be the death of me and Im afraid of what my mind will start doing...so far I havent really 'felt" or dealth with it..... uuughhhhh.... Anyway...congrats on 20 days!!! Thats a hell of an accomplishment!

[lulu747]

Hey Dude!

SO happy to read that you've got 20 days!!!!  YAY!  What you are feeling is totally 'normal' (whatever normal is....(:)  PLEASE go get some exercise- it truly makes all the difference in the world.  I owe so much of my recovery to exercise.  You gotta keep moving and not let that chattery brain get you down.  The endorphins will be jumpstarted in your brain, and your self esteem will get a HUGE boost.  You gotta remember that recovery is a process and you can't rush the steps.  Getting sober and living sober mean learning how to live all over again.  You gotta crawl before you walk, walk before you run, run before you fly.  Speaking of running- whenever I feel the devil on my back I just go for a long run.  I wasn't too fast at first but I can outrun him now.
You deserve all the happiness in the world.  Keep up the awesome work.
Lu

[mary577]

It took about a month for me to feel completely better.   I didn't have any desire to take more hydros but I spent many days just laying across the bed, wondering if I would ever feel like getting up and doing anything.  I did get up and do some stuff, but I was certainly not the go getter I used to be.   I can finally say that after five weeks, I am much better.   Not exactly a go getter, but much better.   I am in my mid 60's so I really didn't expect to feel like 21 again, but I do feel better each day.   Congratulations on your progress so far....and don't give up the fight.   Concentrate on making yourself healthy....and you will surely feel better before long.

[scarlettbegonias]

Hey Dude :)

I am sooo feelin ya!! My brain just isn't right yet....still fatigued as hell, and i have been pushing myself to be social...it's rough.
And its SUMMER!!! gettin out in the hot sun ....with lotsa water/gatoraide...goin fishin , swimming, whatever....it helps.
I am soooo outta shape....its sad. So i have been eating super healthy...a lot of raw/living foods, protein shakes...no soda....and i'm down to 2-3 cigs a day!
I have been exercising at home for now, just to try and build strength....
Holy Crap! I tried Jump Roping.....if u wanna know the shape your in...try that! It DEF put things in perspective for me....I don't wanna be a weakling!!!

Have you seen the new show on TNT, Falling Skies ? its on tonight....google it and read about it....its crazy....To sum it up for you....its pretty much about being controlled by opiates....except in the show aliens attach these vertebrae to you filled with opiates to take over the human race......lol....Sound Familiar??? haha .....

Oh! And Remember.....

ALL GREAT CHANGES ARE PRECEEDED BY CHAOS :::::::::

p.s.......
today is day 21 for me too ..... take comfort in knowing you are not alone!
hughughug

Mama K.

[selfinduced]

Hi Norco, The headaches,Oh those darn headaches. Those were my worst and lingering symptom and I found ice packs,alieve, and most of all massage helped. Good news is they did greatly subside around 20 days! Be careful of isolating too much, I completely understand what your saying, but seems the more active we are the quicker we heal. Also for me, throwing myself back into social things brought normalcy and confidence. Congrats on your 21 days!!!!

[Norcodude39]

You girls are absolutely amazing. Thank you so much. You have made me feel 10 times better I swear. Im kinda isolating myself lately on purpose because its easier to deal with my anxiety right now. I know I need to get out and do what I can but I also know my body is still healing. Godbless you all you are amazing people in my life right now and I look forward to reading this forum everyday. Thank you so much you are helping me save my own life!!!!!!