I relapsed a week ago but I'm getting back on track.

[Hydroco_Done]

Hey guys.  I haven't been posting in a while because I relapsed the Weds before last wed I took 10mg hydrocodone.  That same friday I took 15mg.  Then on sunday I got a hold of some morphine and started taking that and the last 8 days have been a hydro and morphine binge.  I'm not sure if my withdrawals with come back or not.  I heard something about them coming back quicker each time you relapse.  To give you an idea of where I'm at yesterday I took 90mg morphine and 25mg hydrocodone and today I just took 30mg of hydrocodone.  My tolerance is definitely up already, as I dont even feel the hydrocodone that well.  I get a little jittery when it wears off, so I decided that tomorrow I gotta stop.  I don't expect much in terms of withdrawal, I'm more worried about the morphine than anything.  But, I did it once already off 120-200mg hydro, so this should be a walk in the park.

[Ann2497]

I don't know how much it was.  One of my friends gave it to me.  I think it was a very low dose.  Sorry to hear about your aunt.

[Hydroco_Done]

Thank you all for your support I'm glad I have this site it's good to know I have people in the same situation as me who actually care and get it and won't judge me.  Ann, how much did you take?  Some people get really nauseous from morphine even 10mg will make them sick.  I would usually take 60mg and feel fine.  I would say just general pressures of life lots of stress lately and now I found out my aunt has 3 months to live b/c she has lung cancer and she's only in her mid 50s =/  So yeah it's been a rough few weeks.  To be fair I found out about that after my relapse but thats one of the things that kept it going.

[ricart70]

Hey Hydro,glad you are back.You may have some withdrawals though.Hope yuo have a good day buddy.

[Ann2497]

I wondered what happened to you.  Glad you came back.  I took a morphine tablet once and I had the most severe nausea and I never took another one.  So I am just amazed that you were even able to take the morphine without feeling sick.

If I may ask, was there anything in particular that made you relapse?

Do you have everything ready for your detox?

[donewitis]

I'm glad you made it back...we are here rootin' for ya. That's alot of dope..if you questioned if you were an addict before..you  now have your answer, Thankfully, there are other options..and another opportunity to live a quality life. I remind myself all the time..This life is not a dress rehearsal!
Welcome back :)

[Innerstrength67]

I'm glad your being honest too and agree with everyone. This is such a slippery slope for addicts. We often think we can handle one or two but it's never the case. 1 is too many and 1000 is never enough. You know the drill.
Anyway, I love your honesty because you know no one here will ever judge you. It's not what we did but what we do with today because that's all we have.
I am proud of you!!!

[gnarly_1]

Hey dude its time to start treating the illness instead of sitting there waiting for it to go away as addicts we need to change the very way we think and reason to recover you need to figure out why you need to escape and from what the pills are just a symptom of whats going on im with Sara on this one have you put any thought into aftercare ......ask around on here and you will find most of the people with clean time use one form of aftercare or another
to stay clean......getting clean is ez its staying that way that takes the work
you got to remember its your life your playing with here you only get one and when you over do it and if you keep relapsing you will there is no coming back this is a life or death game and often a slow agonizing death threw kidney failure or liver failure PLAESE dont try to skip this critical step aftercare is the key to success ....good luck and God bless.....Gnarly    

[snakejones]

Hi, honey, came back and take your lumps.  ;-)  It happens plenty, it's just human nature. But so is wanting the best for yourself, so I'm glad you are back to try again. It's so common for people to run from the forum when there's a relapse; it's just human nature--remember in the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve hid from God after they ate that apple?
Okay, a question--what makes this time different for you than last time? Also, what made you use? You don't have to answer here, just answer the questions for yourself. Otherwise, it'll happen again.
All the best to you--I'll be looking for your posts. Don't run away again, understand?!!??

[dominosarah]

Any plans for some aftercare yet?  The wd's will be what they are, focus on recovery.

[rnangel]

I have to say the one thing I love most about this forum is the honesty. I relapsed too and couldn't even think about hiding it from my medhelp friends. It just feels wrong. Congratulations for keeping it honest and finding the courage to get back on track!! I'm not ever going to lose sight of my recovery and hope your don't either. Well wishes to you my friend!

[Hydroco_Done]

Thank you littlebit I will! =]

[littlebit667]

Hey, you came back here for the beating!  :)  Every relapse gets us closer to the real thing.  It is just a bump in the road.  Tomorrow is a new day and a new truth.  Glad you came back.  You can do it when your time to do it is right.  Keep posting..good or bad!

[Hydroco_Done]

Thank you mamaof2boys.. I'm feeling pretty ****** right now maybe just depressed b/c I didn't take enough today, not to mention I woke up at 4pm so it's going to be a long night..

[mamaof2boyz]

Sorry to hear u relapsed but it happens..Hopefully u realized it wasn't worth it and coming back here says a lot..I don't know much about morphine but damn sure know about hydrocodone withdrawls.Don't beat yourself up and I'm pretty sure someone will be giving u some great advice here shortly!