triggers

[Holliee]

Just wondering what some of your triggers are and how you cope with them?

Friends that still use (change all friends)
doing things I use to only do on pills (not do them for most part)
Family trouble (talk to someone and let all out)

[dominosarah]

My mother is my biggest trigger.  She is a very angry bitter woman who feels she never did one thing wrong.  It is everyone else's fault.  My dad and i were very close and she hated my dad.  For most of my life i fought tooth and nails with her and always wanted her to be the mother i wanted to have.  After many many months of counseling i finally have come to terms with this.  I cant change who she is but i can change how i react to her.  She is who she is and i will never have that relationship with her that i so desperately wanted.  I dont see her very much and that is okay.  She is in her own world and if she is happy that is great.  I respect her for being my mother but i dont care to spend time with her.

[merrymaria]

that s so funny cos stess is my #1 trigger and my mother is the biggest stress in my life...yes i love her but she is like debbie downer...down on everything....like for example..she doesn t like me to clean on the days she goes to the doc...for fear i m too tired and will crash...just crazy stuff...i could go on and on...but no way will she ever drive me to pills again.

[Holliee]

Hello and thanks for great comment on triggers and as I read your I realized that my mother is also a trigger for me and I to avoid her a lot also guess now I know why. I can remember back when I was taking xannax by time I left her house I had always taken one...... Well have a good day.

[worried878]

How long have u been clean?

My triggers came out full force after I quit...15 yrs post divorce i realized my x was a huge trigger...didnt know it i guess cos i took pills..i knew it for many yrs i think//maybe unless i was in a relationship i forgot about him...but for the 4 yrs i did pills i didnt have to deal with the pain....a week or so after i quit i knew he was my major one

avoiding him is easy as our kids r grown..i had to just deal with it//cope with it and move on...and i did


Another..say second  LOL...COL..is my mother..I love her...but she is the most negative person on the face of this planet..and i can nor will avoid her/cos i do love her///tho i admit i may avoid her just a tinge...i will not fight with her and she knows it..i did in my younger days but i will not since like age 30...aint worth it..being mad at ur mom and not speaking...when i go over there i listen to every negative thing in the paper or on the news...or if anyone got arrested, died, killed theirself etc i hear the story over and over even tho i dont know the person...it is always my fault somehow if anything goes wrong in my life//i am the oldest of 5...i am closest to my youngest brother...she kinda is the same way to him..she has her faves..who cares...but me nor my bro r it and we r the closest

I used to think it was because i have blonde hair and blue eyes like my dad/who is one of the most cheerful people i know/she is spanish descent...and everyone else is very dark and brown eyed...but that would count out my brother cos he is the darkest of all of us...when i was young she would always say...xxxx, look what your dtr has done!  I always remember the "your" part of it..needless to say we have had our probs over the yrs...she commented a few yrs ago that i will not argue..i just leave..i dont storm out, but when she bombards me with negativity, i wait a few minutes so as not to seem upset...and i say goodbye, kiss them both on the cheek and make my exit

They live close by..walking distance..and i did tell my mom about the pills....she removed me as executor of the will...pain in the bu11 anyway so was fine with me//course it was much later than i found this out/but i knew why

u know...i guess we go on and dont realize our main triggers all the time...thanx for this post cos after venting i realize it is probably my mom and not my x that was/is probably my main trigger...either way..we deal with it and cope..if we can remove the trigger then its best to do so...but i guess we cant always do that

there is a great article in the health pages on triggers...keep posting