Aa
Help
Alot of people recommend tapering back or getting re-hab help to get off Oxy's. My husband would just sneek and buy extra pills from his dealer when it gets tough. He doesn't tell me, so I waste another week of my life trying to help him and it is just a farce. We have been doing this for years and have made no headway because he just can't deny himself.
It started 17 years ago with Vicodin for his back, then a few years ago the doc. put him on Oxy's cause he said they weren't addicting!
Every option I have seen mentioned, requires alot of self control and he doesn't have it. I would do one of those expensive quick detox facilities if I had the money, but think he would still go back to the pills eventually, and by the time I was aware of it, it would be too late. Is there any hope?
It started 17 years ago with Vicodin for his back, then a few years ago the doc. put him on Oxy's cause he said they weren't addicting!
Every option I have seen mentioned, requires alot of self control and he doesn't have it. I would do one of those expensive quick detox facilities if I had the money, but think he would still go back to the pills eventually, and by the time I was aware of it, it would be too late. Is there any hope?
Is there some way I can re-name this thread, now that I know more how it works? I didn't realize the title was how people figured out which ones to read and it would draw like-issued people to your thread. I should have titled it, Husband's Long-term Oxy Addiction
You are not whining. You are frustrated and hurt and it is very understandable.
There are plenty of members here with clean time, they are just not sitting here at the moment. I am 22 months clean and I am sure there were those who thought I was hopeless.
Addicts are very selfish and the drug always comes before anything else. I am certain he was not like this when you married him but once he began with drugs, everything else goes out the window.
It seems you have a lot of soul searching to do and decisions to make. There will always be someone here you can talk with and you are welcome to post anytime.
There are plenty of members here with clean time, they are just not sitting here at the moment. I am 22 months clean and I am sure there were those who thought I was hopeless.
Addicts are very selfish and the drug always comes before anything else. I am certain he was not like this when you married him but once he began with drugs, everything else goes out the window.
It seems you have a lot of soul searching to do and decisions to make. There will always be someone here you can talk with and you are welcome to post anytime.
P.S. Lest I sound like a very unloving wife, please know this. I would go throught the WD for him if I could, even though I do understand how miserable it is. This is why I can't understand why he won't do it. Every year he tells me, wait till Christmas when I can take 2 weeks off work. So I wait all year. Then he blows several days before he even starts trying, then says he can't do it cause he doesn't have enough time left.
This, from a 6'3" 260 pound, type A personality, who is in corporate management.
Again, sorry to whine, I just can't do it anymore.
This, from a 6'3" 260 pound, type A personality, who is in corporate management.
Again, sorry to whine, I just can't do it anymore.
Thank you both for your encouragement.
I was hoping to find posts from people who have been clean for a year or more when I first came to this site. The lack of them seems to confirm a fear I have. I don't mean this to be insulting, just trying to understand what is going on, before I lose my marbles completely. From what I have seen, it seems that most addicts are lacking in self control in the first place, which is why they became addicts, (I know there are exceptions) so are lacking the strength that others would have to quit. It is a vicious cycle.
After putting me through 17 years of this, my husband thinks it is too much to ask for him to go through 5 days or so of severe flu like symptoms and several months of lethargy following. He prefers to live in la la land with his happy pills and let his devoted wife deal with the reality of the carnage he leaves in his wake.Is it common for addicts to be completely self absorbed and unfeeling towards those he hurts?
I know this is really whiny and I'm sorry.
I was hoping to find posts from people who have been clean for a year or more when I first came to this site. The lack of them seems to confirm a fear I have. I don't mean this to be insulting, just trying to understand what is going on, before I lose my marbles completely. From what I have seen, it seems that most addicts are lacking in self control in the first place, which is why they became addicts, (I know there are exceptions) so are lacking the strength that others would have to quit. It is a vicious cycle.
After putting me through 17 years of this, my husband thinks it is too much to ask for him to go through 5 days or so of severe flu like symptoms and several months of lethargy following. He prefers to live in la la land with his happy pills and let his devoted wife deal with the reality of the carnage he leaves in his wake.Is it common for addicts to be completely self absorbed and unfeeling towards those he hurts?
I know this is really whiny and I'm sorry.
Hi & Welcome,
There is always hope but if you does not want to get and stay clean, you cannot do it for him.
The quick detox is very, VERY dangerous and I would never recommend it.
It sounds to me that in-patient rehab is the way to go for him with intense aftercare but again, if he doesn't want it or isn't ready it won't do any good.
I know this sounds hopeless and it is not meant to. I just know about trying to force someone to get clean. It doesn't work.
You need to begin taking care of YOU. I don't know your situation...kids, etc. but it is so hard on the people closest to the addict and it is difficult to understand the disease of addiction.
Keep posting and talking with the members here. You will get a lot of help, if not for him, then for you.
There is always hope but if you does not want to get and stay clean, you cannot do it for him.
The quick detox is very, VERY dangerous and I would never recommend it.
It sounds to me that in-patient rehab is the way to go for him with intense aftercare but again, if he doesn't want it or isn't ready it won't do any good.
I know this sounds hopeless and it is not meant to. I just know about trying to force someone to get clean. It doesn't work.
You need to begin taking care of YOU. I don't know your situation...kids, etc. but it is so hard on the people closest to the addict and it is difficult to understand the disease of addiction.
Keep posting and talking with the members here. You will get a lot of help, if not for him, then for you.
I SAY COLD TURKEY IS THE ONLY WAY, NOW TRUE THIS IS JUST WHAT I FEEL. PLEASE DO WHAT YOU THINK. I THINK THE TAPER THING ONLY PROLONGS WHAT IS STILL TO COME AND IT IS HELL, BUT REMEMBER MIND OVER MATTER. THIS IS DAY FOUR FOR ME AND I FEEL GOOD! NOT 100% BUT GOOD
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