Aa
Am I the only one out there that doesn't have a DOC
I just to start off by saying that MedHelp is a lifesaver and all the input has been so supportive and overwhelming a good way. Its actually day 7 for me and I owe to everyones support but heres the kicker I'm dealing with right now and need help:
Am I the only person that doesn't have a DOC? I've jumped from drug to drug and even combined them for the last 11 years and right now being sober off over anything and everything is really overwhelming. I'm craving anything that will distort my perspective. I called myself garbage addict for a reason because if it was in front of me, I'd do it.
A lot of people say their is usually roots for using, but for me can my reason just be that I crave the feeling any substance that will go beyond what a human should feel on their own neurological chemicals.
I'm asking that if there is anyone out there on this program that can relate to me because when it isn't just one substance, but a list I'm finding it harder every day to resist something, anything.
Thank you for listening
Am I the only person that doesn't have a DOC? I've jumped from drug to drug and even combined them for the last 11 years and right now being sober off over anything and everything is really overwhelming. I'm craving anything that will distort my perspective. I called myself garbage addict for a reason because if it was in front of me, I'd do it.
A lot of people say their is usually roots for using, but for me can my reason just be that I crave the feeling any substance that will go beyond what a human should feel on their own neurological chemicals.
I'm asking that if there is anyone out there on this program that can relate to me because when it isn't just one substance, but a list I'm finding it harder every day to resist something, anything.
Thank you for listening
addiction is a fire.
your post highlights an aspect of the disease that often overlooked even though it seems to be a major factor with most addicts and alcoholics.
that is . . . . we don't have a using problem.
instead, the problem is that we don't like the way our brains work when we're not-using. so we have to add things that make our brain feel right. drugs and alcohol can do a wonderful job of that . . . immediately making us feel comfortable in our own skin. who wants to feel uncomfortable in their own skin?
you say you're a "garbage addict," as if that worse that being a "purest" who will only sell his soul for drug-x. that doesn't matter, the important point is that you see that you're an addict and you realize that you're out of control and in trouble.
knowing that you're out of control and in trouble is a perfect point from which to fall into recovery. not many of us make it when we're still thinking "i got this" and we continue to think that long after it's no longer true.
sadness413 had a good point, that recovery really is the easier, softer way. when compared to the demands of active addiction, recovery is cake. but only if we find a way to be comfortable in our own skin without using. otherwise, not-using is a very hard, constant struggle and it's no damn fun at all . . .
using isn't the problem. using is a failed solution to the problem. if using still worked like it did in the honeymoon of my active addiction, i'd still be using. but it didn't keep working like that. instead of asking little a giving a lot, it eventually demanded everything while giving nothing but the absence of withdrawal.
the solution to the problem isn't not-using, the solution is active recovery.
CATUF
2575
your post highlights an aspect of the disease that often overlooked even though it seems to be a major factor with most addicts and alcoholics.
that is . . . . we don't have a using problem.
instead, the problem is that we don't like the way our brains work when we're not-using. so we have to add things that make our brain feel right. drugs and alcohol can do a wonderful job of that . . . immediately making us feel comfortable in our own skin. who wants to feel uncomfortable in their own skin?
you say you're a "garbage addict," as if that worse that being a "purest" who will only sell his soul for drug-x. that doesn't matter, the important point is that you see that you're an addict and you realize that you're out of control and in trouble.
knowing that you're out of control and in trouble is a perfect point from which to fall into recovery. not many of us make it when we're still thinking "i got this" and we continue to think that long after it's no longer true.
sadness413 had a good point, that recovery really is the easier, softer way. when compared to the demands of active addiction, recovery is cake. but only if we find a way to be comfortable in our own skin without using. otherwise, not-using is a very hard, constant struggle and it's no damn fun at all . . .
using isn't the problem. using is a failed solution to the problem. if using still worked like it did in the honeymoon of my active addiction, i'd still be using. but it didn't keep working like that. instead of asking little a giving a lot, it eventually demanded everything while giving nothing but the absence of withdrawal.
the solution to the problem isn't not-using, the solution is active recovery.
CATUF
2575
Sure all different prescription drugs have been used over the course of 11 years mostly opiates and benzos, but I had a two 3 year coke runs where it got up to an 8 ball a day, Ive done enough street ecstasy to cover the state of NJ, even got into Heroin bc the opiate scripts cost a lot and list goes on and on.
I guess I was just feeling like damn I wish I did only have 1 DOC and I was pissed at myself for all the experimenting that led to heavy addiction. Its super hard that though I am only coming off of opiates, I still think about everything that I've used and my overall addictive potential gets the best of me.
I just didn't want to feel alone, like damn this girl will literally do anything.
I guess I was just feeling like damn I wish I did only have 1 DOC and I was pissed at myself for all the experimenting that led to heavy addiction. Its super hard that though I am only coming off of opiates, I still think about everything that I've used and my overall addictive potential gets the best of me.
I just didn't want to feel alone, like damn this girl will literally do anything.
Quit booze 30 years ago. Smoked pot, dropped acid, did coke, speed (the whole family of uppers), reds (downers), glue. You name it. But then I found pills - legal (mostly), no smell, easy to transport and store, and an overall pleasant, mellow outcome. Why switch? No muss, no fuss.
alot of people talk about how hard it is to quit but isnt harder to stay on what ever your addiction is??? stealing hussling begging lieying crying thinking who can you borrow money of knowing you cant pay back its like running a marathon????.people say the pain last few days maybe weeks the craving maybe 3to4 months physical and mental pain thats not mental and physical pain try going to fight for your country and go threw what they go threw thats mental and physical pain.all iam saying that you can,,,get threw it i wish everyone luck...
Rick is right Honey...don't be over thinking this. It is exactly what it is...
Some people have their favorites, like I did and some will take anything. It's all about escaping. Ask yourself why you want to alter your perspective. You don't have to have a particular reason. It's not a law. LOL! Simply liking something because it feels good is an honest reason.
Don't dwell on the "why's". Figure out how you're going to beat those cravings...
Some people have their favorites, like I did and some will take anything. It's all about escaping. Ask yourself why you want to alter your perspective. You don't have to have a particular reason. It's not a law. LOL! Simply liking something because it feels good is an honest reason.
Don't dwell on the "why's". Figure out how you're going to beat those cravings...
Addiction is addiction is addiction. Having a DOC is only an addicts preferred way of getting high. If you read some of the posts here you will see many people are poly abusers. Its not the different drugs we use that defines our addictions it is us. God Bless---Rick
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