please help

[becca1983]

i have had a problem with pain killers for a while now. and i need help. i am on probation with no drug tests but if i go to rehab i will vop and i dont want to go to jail. i am on probation for dwi. i have lost every thing because of me and i need help. what do i do???????????????????????????????????????????????????????/

[Breezystorms]

hey there sweetie.. how's it going? how many days clean now? Im on day 1.. haven't had any wd's yet... where I just started.. but I know later today will be hell.. keep it up.. its worth it...

[10356]

This is good to hear Becca.. Hope to catch up soon..

[becca1983]

hey all today is a better day hope all is well with the group. chat later

[10356]

Yeah during wd becca when we really mean to get clean.. that is what we feel.. we have lost so much for our high.. we have given and let drop so much of ourselves.. That hole fills in and what fills it, is good.. things will come up that you are going to have to deal with.. anger sadness regret.. but keep in mind these are things of the past and the steps you are taking will go a long way in rectifying some of the hurts.. Stay with us for support as most if not all have been right where you are at.. It does ease but you have to walk through the fire to feel the blessed relief.... Pulling for you right by your side.. lesa

[road2recovery]

Everyone gave you great advice..I just wanted to welcome you!!  You can do this, everything you feel is normal...But i promise you, being clean, is a much better life..To actually feel, smell, etc is unreal...It may seem tough, but i promise it is not tougher then the chase, counting, lying that goes along with it all...good luck, and we can help you every step of the way...
r2r

[becca1983]

I AM HURTING SO DAMN BAD I HAVE THIS WHOLE IN MY CHEST.

[enough170]

hey becca, thats the right attiude to have, dont worry about yesterday, only tomorrow, take one day at a time, you can do this be positive :-) you are a good person, like all of us, you just took the wrong direction sending you love and prayers emma xx

[becca1983]

i have never been off everything i always fell back on alcohol. i was doing good i had 3 weeks behind me. and i screwed up. oih well nothing i can about yesterday and i have to move on.

[boogieman]

hi. this site is a good source of support. additionally i highly recommend finding an aa or na group in your area. for me and most i know, it has been crucial to lasting and rewarding recovery. if you did this before, did you take action to stay off of everything including alcohol? take care,  gm

[Mystic214]

Please read my post to rice 317 and good luck hun.  ya gotta want off em thats the worst part gettin there the detox is like a  bad flu.

[becca1983]

good night even though i cant sleep. its 645 and i have not been to bed yet

[10356]

I agree you can do this !! I'm also off too bed and will be checking back.. I saw you addiction tracker.. Good on you :) Talk tomorrow and congrats on your first step to reclaiming your life.. warmly lesa

[kim715]

YOU CAN DO THIS....YOU CAN AND YOU WILL.You just have to want it and be totally committed to seeing it through.I'm off to bed but I will check back in with you tomorrow.Keep posting.OH and welcome to our community.....Big hugs...Kim

[becca1983]

ok i will for the first time in my life soak up my pride and allow help. i think i can do this

[dominosarah]

I agree.....it is quite the moment when we realize we have held the key that unlocks those chains.............sara

[kim715]

Oh honey YES ABSOLUTELY you want to see whats on the other side.It's you,it's your life,the life you were meant to live.Like lesa said all the things that you have been missing or taking for granted are out there just waiting on you.Theres nothing to be afraid of anymore.You are going to come out of this knowing that you looked the devil in the face and you won.You will be stronger and appreciate life so much more then you have in years.It's the most amazing feeling on the other side,let us help you get here.

[nefesh]

I was 25 years on painkillers... in the end they were killing me more than any pain, that's for sure... You are an amazingly courageous person... you've been through a lot... getting clean immediately simplifies your life - you don't have to worry and connive and figure out all the time how many pills and where'm I gonna get em and how'm I gonna pay and the whole bad deal is done!...  addicts are special people... there's a lot of special people here... we're different... extra perceptive, maybe too aware sometimes... but once you get the real driver's wheel - of your life - free from the chains of addiction - you will discover great new places for yourself...  Just one day at a time... keep going... find your Soul...
with love and prayers for you
nefesh

[dominosarah]

The other side is so full of life........Dont be afraid.  Embrace this process as getting your life back.......It is sooo worth it.  It is like looking at the world thru a childs eyes.  Everything is new and so much to discover..........sara

[10356]

Your welcome and whats on the other side is You.. The person that has been lost.. We forget what really nice peps we are when in our addictions.. how sweet the air smells.. how a breeze feels to laugh colors.. so many things await you :))

[becca1983]

kim im sceared of what awaits me do i really want to see whats on the other side?i know i need to!

[becca1983]

thank you lesa

[kim715]

There are many of us who have been right where you are Becca and with help we fought our way out of that dark hole.You can do this too and we are here to help.You dig deep and come out fighting.It's time to take control back.You're life awaits you.

[10356]

I also bounced from one addiction to another.. Not till I received therapy did I figure out how to put a stop to my constant search for happiness.. I was looking for it in the dope it's a illusion.. a dead end street.. I hope you look deeper then you ever had before as you have lost much in your quest to get high and numb out reality.. I now live in the present Happier then I ever thought imaginable.. I wish this for you also.. stick with us and read ask questions.. knowledge is power..  sorry to hear about being busted by your friend.. another humiliation of addiction.. I understand..

[10356]

Hi becca.. You have ct before.. and your mom is their too help.. that is wonderful.. Congrats on making this decision before you loose even more control of your life... Please stick with us for support.. You can do this as many of us had.. read post and learn all you can do for yourself to get you by this next week.. remember attitude is everything in wd.. it can make our break you.. excepting you have to endure a few days of pain in order to regain your freedom and regain control of your life is a small price.. go in with this attitude and one of going to war against your addiction.. You will come out the other side.. Aftercare like aa meeting may be beneficial to you in helping to maintain your sobriety.. they also work hand in hand with drug addiction...I wish you well.. lesa