Do I confront my addict sister after snooping?

[SoccerGuy33]

So here is what happened. My sister started hanging out with the wrong crowd back in our home town. She, over the span of about 2 years, became highly addicted to percocets. Her mood would constantly swing up and down and she would end up spazzing out on my family members. I had moved out after college about an hour away and heard all the stories and felt disgusted in her actions, but in the same way felt that I had somehow betrayed her for not being there. It got to the point where her and her friends would go to my mother's house at all hours of the night and be wasted out of their mind off percocets. She tried rehab in but quickly found a reason to check herself out, saying she didnt need help that she could stay clean on her own. When she checked herself out, my mother had no choice but to kick her out of the house. She, of course, would call me saying she is living on the streets and sober but that she wouldnt be able to stay sober for long without a place to stay and blah blah.

About two weeks ago I let her move into my house with my girlfriend and I. I made it CLEAR if ever found any drugs she would be OUT. Today while she was at work, I did something I am not proud of. I snooped through the room in my house she is staying in. While doing so I found 2 percocets in a little box with a straw. I never trusted her to begin with and now don't think I will ever be able to. My question is, should I confront her and kick her out of my house even though I was snooping?

[ArmyWifeMomof4]

Yea addicts blame everyone else. My father was an addict and he blamed the world. When my brother started in I finally had enough. Everybody in this world has been thru something hard. Some harder then others but we all have our battles. It is how we stand back up that defines us. Not how we got knocked down. So when one of my brothers went to druses and the other to a risky lifestyle that was their choice. I was able to have a family and a successful marriage and like I said...same situation. The only difference is I don't blame my dad. I don't blame anyone. My choices are mine and yeah it was lame that he wasn't there but there are worse things. My husband is an amazing father and I thank my dad for showing me who NOT to marry. It just depends on the person and what they take out of a situation. Pointing fingers hurts no one but the person pointing. Usually sadly the person they are pointing at doesn't care much anyways. She has to fix herself and that may take a lot of counseling. She needs help and you (or me with my brother) are not qualified to do this. We have to let them find their own way

[SoccerGuy33]

Thank you so much for your quick reply. It is almost bizarre how similar your story sounds to mine. My two sisters and I all went through the same thing as children, but only my youngest sister ended up turning to drugs. And was quick to point the finger and blame it on my father for not being there. I just felt like I NEEDED to help but feel betrayed that she has been lying to my face about being clean. Thank you so much for your take on my situation. I can't put into words how much I genuinely appreciate it. I know how manipulative she can be and felt that she would, of course, turn this around and say something about how I don't trust her is why she is using again. In reality, it is no one's fault but her own. Thank you again.

[VICourageous]

PS..When we are USING!!!

[VICourageous]

Hi & Welcome. If your post it gone from this area that means they might have moved it over to our "Living with a Addict".

As far as your Question Goes..YOU had every right to find out and how you did it makes no difference.
Most of us on here are Addicts in Recovery. We know how we have lied, denied, or even have stolen to get our drugs, whatever it may have been. NOT All of us did but most of us had always ran short, or always on the look out for more to buy or sell...Whatever it may be. I myself never had stolen any but I sure did go out of my way to find the drugs I wanted..SO this being sad, YOU told her NO DRUGS PERIOD!!! She did this and now it is upsetting your household. TOUGH Love is what it might take here.
She is the one that has to come to the conclusion that she is a Addict and needs out side Support. NO more playing around with users friends and those old stomping grounds. It takes LOTS of changes and tons of work to stay clean. Maybe have her check in on here if she needs some Support to come clean. As far as staying clean that will take Time & Working on it.
I can not tell you to kick her out..but I will say you have every right if you do. You could maybe give her one more change and make sure she is getting some kind of help with her Addiction with a Support group, Therapist, Addiction counseling or whatever..even Church..Just know that SHE is the one that has to make that choice. Addiction is a Progressive disease and it can get worse. Sounds like she might have already broken your trust..You did the right thing no matter what she says to you. We like to Blame everyone and everything when we are suing. It is never our fault. However, it is a disease that can be arrested but never cured as long as we keep using for any other reason, other then the Pain as far as Pain Pills go.

We have all kinds of people on here with there own experiences and they will check in and give you there 2 cents worth. Keep checking your post!

Bless
Vickie
Keep checking back!!

[ArmyWifeMomof4]

Oh and I did the guilt thing too.  After my dad left I graduated HS and married my husband and he joined the Army and we moved.  My mom really did not get back on her feet.  One night while talking to my youngest brother he told me everyone leaves.  Dad left, you left...mom left.  I felt horrible.  I thought I could prevent this all if I had stayed but I had to remember that I was the sister.  Not the mom.  Not the dad.  We all 3 went thru the same situation and I came out living my life so they had to live theirs.  Like I said do not beat yourself up either on this.  No one is perfect and we all mess up but we are allowed to go have our own lives.  We can help as much as possible like the meeting and such but we cannot be their everything.  We cannot be any ones everything.

[ArmyWifeMomof4]

OMG you are doing what I am doing with my brother.  He did the same thing.  My dad left, he started into meds, abused them, rehab and checked out saying he was fine and then everyone kicked him out and he called me.  I personally told him no he could not move in but I have 5 kids and I am not sure if I would have let him if it was just my husband and I.  One thing though it is your house.  You get to snoop.  I tell all my kids that and if I had a brother move in the way he is I would tell him the same thing.  If I am paying the bills then you do not get privacy until you go move into your own place and pay your own bills.  Should you confront her?  Absolutely.  She will die if you don't so I would take her being mad any day.  My brother is on the street and has hit rock bottom.  He still calls and I tell him I will go to whatever meetings with him.  I will go to rehab and visit.  I will not allow him in my home.  He is not allowed around my kids either.  I feel bad.  We are both on only 30 and 32 and we used to be so close.  You have to take care of you and your wife because this will hurt you 2 if you let your sister do this in your home.  You set the rules, she broke them.  She is out.  She comes at you saying that you snooped you slam her with it isn't your house.  You do not pay the bills.  That is my room...my stuff.  You are a guest.  Sorry but tough love is needed on this one.  Sorry you are having to do this.  I understand how bad it ***** to watch and there is nothing you can do.  They have have have to hit rock bottom.