Here we go again

[what2donow]

Good morning
Most of you know that I was 25 days clean and messed up pretty bad.Im ready to do it again.Someone suggested a "quick taper". The concept is that I take today, half of what I took yesterday.I am supposed to go down by half everyday untill im down to none.(4 days) My question is do you think there is really any benifit to that over c/t? I would think it would just prolong the suffering.What do you guys think.No matter what, im either doing that or going c/t today.Somthing has to be done.I feel like im setting out on a journey im destined to fail.I hate being in a hell that I willingly and knowingly put myself in AGAIN. I wish that someone stronger than myself could just pick me up and carry me to the other side of this,but I know I have to do the work.No pain no gain right.I just dont know how many more times I can watch myself fail.It really starts to effect your outlook after a while.
So here we go again and it feels just like the first time.I feel  scared, and alone.But maybe somthing inside will click this time and I wont go back.Thats what I pray.

Im sorry im in the needy mood guys :) Thanks for being wonderful always

[bmc1976]

I'm kind of late on this post since you already have 30 comments but thought I'd post. I did a quick taper once in about 5 days. I noticed quite a difference with the withdrawals. They were much more bearable even though it was a quick taper. But as we know it is different for everyone. Just do what you think is best for your situation.Just thought I'd share my experience with  you. Best of luck!
brian

[flmagi]

If you find yourself continueously relapseing, have tried everything you can and keep going back, maybe give alittle consideration to Suboxone. Its better than constantly relapseing and putting your life, family and job in danger. It should only be used if all else has failed. It can give you the time you need to retrain yourself, get counseling/support while feeling normal and learning not to look for the high anymore.
Try the cold turkey again, if it doesn't work out, please give some thought to the Suboxone. The ideal way is just to quit on your own. Hunker down and do it.
We're here for you.

[what2donow]

I am so happy for you and proud of your hard work.It is hard.HATS OFF TO U!!!!! It has been almost 14 hours since I have taken my last dose and I am hurting already :) I know the party has just begun.Ha im ready to sleigh dragons :)
We are all so happy to have you here and there is somthing powerful about this forumWatch and see :)
Keep on keepin on

(((HUGs)))

[mcray]

one minute at a time is the way that works best. When I tell my friends I've been sober for 2 weeks they are like that's all? I'm like you have no idea. It hurts a little. I just wish more of my friends could understand and help. Then again, if they understood, that would mean they had to go through it as well. No one wishes that upon friends.

[what2donow]

well im doing good guys.I havent taken anything so I guess my choice has been made :) I want to say im sorry in advance because I know how whiny I get during this.Im a big ol baby i swear!!! Its ok tho, im just going to do this 1 day, 1 hour, 1 minute ate a time :) Thanks bunches for those of you that responded

[worried878]

I also agree with toxic on the meetings...may have to shop around to find one that fits...I found an AA ladies group and I fit in...tried the NA groups and found a ladies group and went for a while..not saying I wont ever go back to it...but this group is so cool...great people that are in my social group more so than the NA people...not that I am better than anyone cos I am not..I am an addict just like they are...just had to find a group where I feel comfy...I was slacking on my meetings and came very close to relapse ..I thought I was strong and past the point of needing as much outside support...I went back last night after missing 2 weeks...it helps...really it does...find u a group and stick with it

[Emmas Mom]

You CAN do it!!!!  What did your liver function tests say?  You know that I am here for you and whatever you decide I will support.  I personally think tapering even a little bit can help reduce some of the symptoms.  I have done really short tapers in the past and versus completely CT it does make a difference.  Just in my opinion.  Keep posting and I will keep you in my thoughts!

[mcray]

I am new to the site and I was brought here by my buddy who is on this site. I currently fighting the pill addiction as well. Oxycontin was my drug of choice. I just wanted to let you know there are people out there doing the same thing and fighting the same fight. What are your thoughts on suboxone? It has helped me greatly. I am 2 weeks sober as of yesterday.

[NautyOne]

depends on how bad the screw up was........if it was just a couple days you should be ok.     if it was for weeks......a little taper cant hurt.  It just depends on the person you are.  If your a chicken-chit like me .......the taper is better......if your a ballz-out person the go ballz-out and get it over with.  be good to yourself and don't beat yourself up.

Luv,
Nauty..............

[LexiDoodle01]

Sweetie you were right there yesterday helping me! You can do this ! We can do this together! Im here day or night ! I have also been on Norco and today is my second day CT =) Message me anytime ! I mean that , you are a great mother from what I have read and we all have our hard times! just know that im here

<3 Lexi

[1234betterlife]

honey, keep trying different aftercare. sometimes aa/na work for some. sometimes it takes trying different groups until you find your "spot". sometimes it is just not for you and you may need to seek other alternatives. i see a private counselor, that works for me. there are other intensive outpatient treatment centers as well. some of these you will need insurance for so i do not know your situation there but i, like you, cannot do it without someone to be accountable to. accountability is huge here. i CANNOT rely on myself. i just do not have it in me.

[gizzy32]

i have already seen you dish out great advice to people on here. it's ok to be afraid, and you would be crazy if you weren't. you just had a little bump and your getting back on track. you should be very proud of yourself. all of us here know how hard it is and we are behind you in your recovery. stay strong and give you little angels each a big hug.

[what2donow]

One day I will be standing here dishing this same advice out to someone as afraid as I am.Thats the thought that gets me thru this time after time

[toxictome]

I think that would be an EXCELLENT idea..to tell the therapist..heck...you might as well get your $$$ worth!!  LOL

YOU are making some good decisions on things to "help" you stay clean...
Like worried said in another post..i have found a GREAT womens AA mtg...that has been a lifesaver....have been going there for 12 yrs...some AA mtgs. don't like it if addicts come...to me a drug is a drug, whether it be alcohol or other drugs...
so GOOD JOB!!! Keep up the good fight...you are so worth it..and those lil' girls need their mama!!!

[poetrygirl1960]

Just because right now you recognize that you require a boost of confidence does not make you "needy" .  There is no sin in admitting we are vulnerable, that takes guts and I'm proud of you for being able to do this.  Tapering would make w/d easier, but then again that depends on what and how much of it you are taking.  If you have a chance check out this Thomas Recipe everyone is talking about.  I read it and I can understand how it would be really helpful though I don't know how easy it is for most to get their hands on valium (unless you have access to a valium tree?!).  Whichever you decide please know so many of us are praying and pulling for you.  Hang in there I know you have it in you!

Good luck,
Lisa

[catmagnet]

I've been fighting this particular addiction for 14 years, drugs in general on and off for 30 years . I think I'm just getting worn out, I've considered NA meetings, let me know how it works out. The trouble with me is I feel "out of place" no matter what I do, and I've just about become a hermit. I'm starting to think the church I've been attending doesn't like me either, I don't think I'll go back... I don't belong anywhere, I guess I'll have to accept that.

[genovese05]

I'm in the same boat as you right now. I am on day 3 of quiting cold turkey and I have 2 young babies at home and I think that is what makes me relapes half the time cause I can't function without the pills anymore. I am hurting bad right now and I know in a second someone will be callinf to sell some pills and I am terrified that I will not say yes. I have tried to taper and I can't cause my husband is also a pain pill addict and it just doesn't work. My problem is percocet ond oxycontin but whatever the pill is it is still all the same you know? No one wants to withdrawl espesially with kids. At this point is my life I would love to throw myself in rehab but I can't cause I have no support system. NO one knows about my addiction except my husband. This forum thing I found last night and it has really helped me. Last night someone from this site offered to talk to me and for that 30 minutes it felt so good to speak to someone about my addiction who understood what I was going through. Sounds like you are doing great even though you may think you are not. 2 Years is a long time to be on pain pills and to taper yourself off is quite amazing in my eyes. YOu made it this far don't give up.

[what2donow]

Hey now if I cant give up than neither than you.You made a mistake yesterday.Dont do what I did.Dont say screw it, I messed up so im going to keep messing up.Its not if you fall down that matters, its if you stay down.This is a hardcore thing.These drugs suck so bad.Keep ur chin up and know that today is a new day.

toxictome
I am going to an N/A meeting tonite.Thats really hard for me to admit.I have went a few times in the past but didnt have the right group(in my opinion) Im going to try somthing different tonite tho.I have recently started therepy as well.I havent told her about all of this yet tho....maybe that would be a great idea.  :) LOL

[catmagnet]

maybe you can help me. I was tapering since march 1, yesterday went into total relapse,i didn't take what i was originally, but messed up my progress big time now I feel like a bigger loser than ever. I'm not even sure I can do this at all stress gets to me , then I just give up on everything...

[toxictome]

What do you have in place for aftercare??
Getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hard part!!!

The insanity of this is...we keep doing the SAME things over and over, expecting DIFFERENT results!!
NOTHING CHANGES, IF NOTHING CHANGES!!


Have you thought about NA/AA mtgs. or counseling, or both....this forum is a GREAT place to vent and seek support...but i dont' think it can help you deal w/ the core issues of "why" you use drugs...or learn the tools to stay clean.....

I quit  drinking  and attend AA... I have never touched another drink since! ....17+ yrs.
I quit pills...now counseling and still attend  AA...have not relapsed....9 weeks...

I wish you the best...
It "works" if you "work" it........GOOD LUCK!!     KEEP POSTING!!

[cathy5841]

you got this girl you can do it...now  just  do  it

[what2donow]

what would ya like to know?Umm I have been on Norco for about 2 years for chronic pain.I am prescribed a very high dose and I triple that in a day easy.I have quit and relasped 4 tmes I think.This time I need to do this.I got some liver function test back yesterday evening and im afraid.I also have 3 babies that need a mom with a clear head.My pain is an issue, but I have found some better ways to handle it.I need this, and I want this and im putting my all back in this.Thats for any suggestions you have.I have all of the detox supplies I think.I just need to stop feeling sorry for myself and do it........right?  :(

[scottt]

I been on contin for 10 yrs did wean off over 6 wks best way! Please share your story I may be able to help!

[gizzy32]

it won't be easy, but i have no doubt you can do this. just keep posting and fight fight fight. i don't think there is one person here that has quit pills or drugs that regret it. it's tough at first, but life is so much better not being a prisioner to these pills. you can do this.