Day 2, in WD, won't go back

[Cassie415]

Hi everyone, I am trying again to stop using oxycontin. For some people who have seen me say this a million times I know you might be sick of me or think I am not actually going to do it, but all I can say is i'm trying again. I am really determined to do this. I am going to get sober this time and make it out on the other side and finally experience life clean. I am going to find new ways to find happiness, because I know oxycontin is just filling some kind of void and it is just artificial happiness that leaves me sick and deathly feeling. I have found a volunteer program that works with kids here, which is what I love to do, and so I am joining it. I'm going to find new ways to fill my time and new things to be interested and passionate about. I want to be clean and happy for these holidays and spend them with my family and not be on drugs. I am not going to waste away anymore and barely live my life. I just want to feel real happiness in myself and my life. Today is day 2, I am very sick, but making myself get up and walk to school has helped. Thank you everyone that constantly helps me and doesn't give up, it means so much. So here goes, i'm trying again.

[bmdad]

How ya hanging in there Cas? Hope you're feeling better and able to get a good nights sleep! Keep going strong, I'm pulling for you!

[Cassie415]

I think i'll be okay. it just caught me for a second, but im spending the night doing homework and reading and being a loser haha, but at least not on drugs. I also don't have a scholarship here? But i'm going to try and stay here and not leave, i'll just have to keep my guard up more, i think i can do it.

[leeisgettingclean]

girl life is more important than school at this very moment, you might have to drop, move home, get clean and active in a program, then go back. I know you say u lose schoolership doing that, but thats what i had to do and i lost my schoolship however every door that closes God opens 2 more. YOU LIFE IS #1 RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

[Cassie415]

thanks lee
I was just on my way to the bookstore, i was going to just try and get better, read a little, do some how, and on my way my neighbor told me hes having the party of the year and bring as many drugs and alc as possible, that is going to be insane. just my luck lol. what to do what to do, i swear every night something like this happens, somebody is testing me.

[leeisgettingclean]

i know you can do this girl;! just hang though and u will get through this. Just remember you have to change something to get differant results!! : )

[Cassie415]

Thanks worried and bmdad, i really want to do this and i'm going to keep reading this post anytime i start to second guess myself.