Day 2, in WD, won't go back

[Cassie415]

Hi everyone, I am trying again to stop using oxycontin. For some people who have seen me say this a million times I know you might be sick of me or think I am not actually going to do it, but all I can say is i'm trying again. I am really determined to do this. I am going to get sober this time and make it out on the other side and finally experience life clean. I am going to find new ways to find happiness, because I know oxycontin is just filling some kind of void and it is just artificial happiness that leaves me sick and deathly feeling. I have found a volunteer program that works with kids here, which is what I love to do, and so I am joining it. I'm going to find new ways to fill my time and new things to be interested and passionate about. I want to be clean and happy for these holidays and spend them with my family and not be on drugs. I am not going to waste away anymore and barely live my life. I just want to feel real happiness in myself and my life. Today is day 2, I am very sick, but making myself get up and walk to school has helped. Thank you everyone that constantly helps me and doesn't give up, it means so much. So here goes, i'm trying again.

[bmdad]

Each day will get a little better and then eventually you will feel great! Congrats on the progress you have made. Day 4 with nothing is a huge accomplishment! Be very proud of yourself. Keep moving forward and never look back! Just think how great the holidays are gonna be. You couldn't ask for a better gift to give to your family even if they don't know it. Just stay strong and remember every day clean is better than a year of being in the fog of drugs! Keep up the great fight!

[worried878]

I am so happy for u cassie!  I have seen u post over the time i have been here and glad u r moving forward...congrats on ur clean time!  u deserve every second of it!

[Cassie415]

thank you both. I am feeling a bit better today so hopefully tomorrow is even better.

[10356]

Hey Cassie this is day 4 !! You are almost over the Hump and should start to feel a lil better very soon.. Hope you got some sleep.. The diluadid is not worth taking cass. One leads to another and then leads back to oxy.. keep fighting !! You will be so pleased you did when your thoughts clear and your emotions are true.. know I have been keeping you in my thoughts and em pulling for you my friend..

[bmdad]

So sorry you are feeling so crummy!  The hot and cold stuff blows! I hate laying in bed under the covers freezing with the chills and then the hot flashes! Boy that drives me nuts! I hope that trazadone helps you with some sleep. I know they helped me before. Lack of sleep can really make our lives frustrating especially when having school the next day. Just remember, all of this will pass very soon. You are doing great and pat yourself on your back! You should be very proud of yourself! You are putting up the fight of your life and kicking it right in the nuts! Tomorrow will be another day closer to the end of this pain. Hang in there!
Brian

[Cassie415]

yeah i said no, but everytime it is brought up or around me i just get so much anxiety and it launches my head into thinking about it again. tonight is rough, ive been throwing up and cold and then hot then cold, my body hurts, it just *****. but im going to try to sleep, i have a little trazadone to take. I really need to sleep because i cant keep missing school, i am so behind and ive got midterms next week.