Day 2

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

I was here back in October, but relapsed after 4 days. I tried a few times in between but never made it past day 4. I am at it again, and want to make it stick. I know what to expect but I am still nervous and scared. I hate detox, absolutely whole heartedly hate detoxing. I just want to feel normal and feel like I will never feel normal. I wish I never took that first pill, I wanna scream and cry at the same time. I am on vacation this week so I figure this is the only chance I have to get thru the worst of it, but man is a pill calling my name. I don't want to think like this but it just takes over my mind. I hate this! Any encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

Thanks for the encouragement I appreciate it! I have read your story and I want you to know I think it's awesome you are going to rehab, if I could I would have. I am sure good things will come of it and you will be happy you went! Methadone from what I have read and seen thru people close to me is a beast to get off, but I admire you for taking the steps to do so. :)

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

My dealer is on board, they are a friend as well and are happy with the decision I have made. My husband knows, he is my support system. As far as the meeting I am at a campground in another state in a small town that I am not sure how to get around. I would rather wait til I am back at home which will be in another 3 days which should be just enough time for me to be feeling better n there is a meeting at the church close by on Sunday night. Right now my focus is on feeling better, aftercare will start once I get home.

[lynnalb15]

Hey I know how u feel. Think of it like this.. I'd much rather be in your position. I've detoxed off oxy and pills before and it was cake compared to what's ahead of me now. I'm on methadone. And it's hell times 10000000. Your pretty lucky I wish more than anything I was only detoxing from pills. It's still going to be hard but u can do this. I promise you.

[conhall]

The best advice I could give you is to say if you keep relapsing after 4 days what is it the makes it so easy for you to relapse is it because the pills are always available? Get rid of your pill source and you must do something more than just telling your dealer Please dont sell to me, because if you have the $$$ they dont care. I got drastic and told my dealer I was quitting and If they ever contacted me again I would report them to police Pretty scary right! I had to do it though because what I was doing wasnt working.
I also Told My Guy and that was very hard he had no idea but you need accountability and also the support. And as far as waiting to start aftercare until you feel better why wait why not start now? You have to have a plan in place  because if not this carousel ride will continue and it just gets worse. Take your life back No its not easy but its worth it, you can do this but you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get there.    

[freedom371]

Your welcome..and thank you for your support as well. Try to get as much rest as possible. I know how hard that is. Also, i agree with kyles idea about a plan. That makes alot of sense. I, myself, need a more concrete plan. Keep yourself hydrated. Last year when i detoxed, i got so dehydrated, I got very sick and was put in the hospital. So thats important. Try to take a vitamin if you can. Also, do you have people you can call and talk to anytime? I have a couple of people i can talk to when im really freaked out...they've been there. Ive met them through NA. Do you have a support system?

[WantTheGoodLifeNow]

Our stories are very similar it's amazing how those little blue pills take a hold of you and fast too! I haven't been able to miss any work either, but I am on vacation this week so I am taking advantage of it. Sucky way to spend vacation but it sure beats spending all money I don't have. I have Xanax to take but hate that stuff so much sometimes I find it makes my anxiety worse. I use it as a last ditch effort to get a couple of hours of sleep.  

I really appreciate your advice on suboxone I can't tell you how many times I wanted to go on that in hopes it would help but stopped myself due to horror stories on this site.

I am sending support your way, I have faith you will be able to put this slip on suboxone behind you and move on with your life! You and I still have our whole lives ahead of us, we can get thru this!