Aa
Day 3 and feeling like a bratty todler!
This is a real Mind F***. I don't know what to do w myself. I always have off on Tuesday. Today I wld have contacted a friend for a blueberry AKA 30mil perc. I would have taken it along w my prescribed Lortabs and floated blissfully through my house cleaning it from top to bottom. I don't feel like doing a damn thing w o a buzz. No cleaning, no cooking, no FBing, no decorating for xmass. Nothing is fun w o the high I'm so desperately craving! And I'm pissed off about it! Pissed off at myself and jealous of other ppl who find joy in ANYTHING while being sober! Oh and I also spent the last 20minutes licking blue residue off anything I could find w it on. Jewelry boxes, pill containers, straws, razor blade, plastic baggys! Yeah, I'm a real classy gal!
While we are making each other laugh...I washed a pill one time. Didn't find it until pants were dry. I took the pill, of course, wet lent and all. Hang in there. Be a success story!
Amers860....I know right.....lol.....better to laugh than cry I suppose.....but wow would i hate to have to view myself doing that....thank goodness noone videoed me.....ssshhisshhh....that would be awful....good luck to you....
That's what I was talking about when I mentioned your environment not being conducive to a drug free lifestyle. That's going to be hard for you. Also, the cavalier attitude that it's just fine and totally acceptable...that's hard to beat!
Do you have a plan as to how you can avoid that? I don't think sheer will alone will do it...
It's good your husband is on board but does he know you're addicted?
Do you have a plan as to how you can avoid that? I don't think sheer will alone will do it...
It's good your husband is on board but does he know you're addicted?
My husband knows about the prescribed. I didn't tell him i hav been purchasing too. Allthough through text Iast night I told him...you do realize dear that the end to this misery I'm feeling is only a text away for me. Do you understand what I mean hun? He replied, yes I assumed that all along. and I know you can resist that tempation. I have 2 kids. 8yr old boy and a 6yr old girl :)
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