Stumbled with staying clean I need to know I can change my life!

[want2befree123]

Well I'm back, this would be day 10 but I relapsed and I'm bak to day one... Sure I'll find out shortly how fa I've set myself back.. I've cut all ties with those who are my friends who use and cut off all ties with dealers. It's the only way I see it to keep Away from these oxy devils... Been pretty depressed and anxious the past few days and think that may be why I've fallen back into it.. I need to teach myself that I'm not the problem it's my addiction and stop weighing so heavily on my past and stay positive and have a good outlook on the future... Need to really weigh the consequences to my actions down the road instead of chasing a high that lasts hours only to hurt myself the next day.... Just really need some support. My girlfriend has had enough of me complaining and depressed thoughts and stuff... Someone tell me it's possible to change your life around because as the days go on I find it harder and harder to stay clean... Please any possible positive reinforcement would REALLY help me!

[vicki595]

AFTERCARE. AFTERCARE. AFTERCARE

That's your answer.

[ImDONENoMore]

sara's right - the problem is us.  We have to find a way to get through the issues that made us an addict in the first place.  And that doesn't happen magically after you stop using.  Get through the physical stuff again first, then focus on what you need to change in your life to be successful with your recovery.  It's not about taking pills.  It's about WHY we abuse them in the first place.

[kyle505]

Life will wrap up and deliver, right to your doorstep, hundreds of reasons to use. That's fact #1.  If you have access to pills, you will most likely use. That's fact #2. You are the one who puts the pills in your mouth - not your friends, your dealer, your past. That's fact #3.  You can absolutely change the things that need to be changed. That's fact #4.
A very simple plan of action can be formulated based on these four facts.
We'll be here when you are ready.

[dominosarah]

When you finally realize you are the problem here then things will change.  There is a reason why you are running back to the pills.  That is why we stress recovery care here.  We have to face the demons we have been running from.  This is a life changing process and one we have to be willing to embark on.  We hold the key that will unlock the chains.  You made a good step by getting rid of your suppliers.  That is a big step.  Now work on rebuilding you.  It is hard work but the rewards are great.  You can do this.  Think positive thoughts.  Using is not an option today~~

[allformykid]

in that case it sounds as if you may be letting depression get to you. it's all a part if the w/d period... take walks outdoors, get some sun on your face for at 15-20 mins a day if possible... research mood enhancing (read: natural) vitamins. in other words, FIGHT for a way to snap out of it! your sobriety is worth it and so are you:)

[want2befree123]

She's been the most supportive of all people... I dunno the past few days have been tough to say the least... I've just been thinking the wrong Way and it's been bringing her down... Not to mention were like 200 km apart on top of all this... She's been amazing to say the least.

[allformykid]

of course you can do this! you have to forgive yourself for relapsing and move forward with starting your commitment over.

regarding your girlfriend: what i've realised is that the people who have judged me harshly for my addiction are not the people who will stand by me in times of struggle... which is what happens in life. i've let those people go, let them live in their own misery of self deluded perfection and have focused on the people who not only stood by me when i finally confessed that i have a problem, but also encircled me in their love and understanding and STRENGTH. i say it may be a time to reevaluate these relationships in your life as well.

at this time, more than any, you need those people who believe in you.

good luck on your new day one and keep posting!