Aa
Do you want to be my De-tox friend?
Hi everyone,
I am not sure I am a fluke or what. I have a very special habit. For the last few months I am experienced what I would call a total downward spiral. My dose was about 300-500mg of oxy snorted daily. More if I could get my hands on it.
That’s how much it took to feel normal. I haven’t got a buzz in months. I am trying to fight the dragon. Needless to say I have a problem. I doze out in public, with friends; I have run out of excuses. I fell asleep and crashed my car. I have officially become a danger to the community.
I have de-toxed 37 times in the last 10 years. Each one of them hold a special place of misery in my heart. Yesterday I started my 38th time.
Every time it feels worse than it did before. I feel like am going to die. I am afraid to seek help because what it would do to my reputation. Not that falling asleep in public doesn’t get the whole thing away.
Does someone want to be my de-tox friend? That is what I need right now.
I feel like I am going to die.
Sincerely,
quickdraw from oregon
I am not sure I am a fluke or what. I have a very special habit. For the last few months I am experienced what I would call a total downward spiral. My dose was about 300-500mg of oxy snorted daily. More if I could get my hands on it.
That’s how much it took to feel normal. I haven’t got a buzz in months. I am trying to fight the dragon. Needless to say I have a problem. I doze out in public, with friends; I have run out of excuses. I fell asleep and crashed my car. I have officially become a danger to the community.
I have de-toxed 37 times in the last 10 years. Each one of them hold a special place of misery in my heart. Yesterday I started my 38th time.
Every time it feels worse than it did before. I feel like am going to die. I am afraid to seek help because what it would do to my reputation. Not that falling asleep in public doesn’t get the whole thing away.
Does someone want to be my de-tox friend? That is what I need right now.
I feel like I am going to die.
Sincerely,
quickdraw from oregon
ur rite my skin aint mine rite now it feels like sumones havn a fite over it and im just sitn here watch and feeln it happan
hey man good to c ya its ben a whil edeamos u seem to be doing great, i am not rite now i turned my phone on and i shoulnt of bad bad news always a txt away. but so far so good i turnded it off again just got me thnkin tho.
Whats up guys< I am on like day 13 or so not exactly positive a he moment, I just need to keep my dominent thoughts on being sober and not going through what I went through ever again. This is the farthest I have ever gone in my recovery with Oxy's and other pain meds, I feel happy with normal life for a change, and the Subs are working just shy of a miracle, eventually I am planning on tapering off of the subs but the doc said there is no rush, Good luck all, I will keep in touch, Keep it up JT,
Be Blessed and Well ~Demons~
Be Blessed and Well ~Demons~
Awesome to see you again man.
I glad you made it through the night.
I was right there man.
Boy did that stink.
We did it though.
Here we are.
I am on day three, feel a little better than yesterday, and I am looking forward to day four.
I can't wait in fact.
Everything is going really well right now.
I have you guys to keep me in line.
Any new insights from last night JT?
Joshua From Oregon
I glad you made it through the night.
I was right there man.
Boy did that stink.
We did it though.
Here we are.
I am on day three, feel a little better than yesterday, and I am looking forward to day four.
I can't wait in fact.
Everything is going really well right now.
I have you guys to keep me in line.
Any new insights from last night JT?
Joshua From Oregon
i just couldnt bring myself to type cause how aweful i felt but i got the strength now just seeing how yall r doing good to hear u being so positive i could sure use it rite bout now.
We have made it DAY THREE here we are.
When I woke, or should i say quit trying to sleep, this morning, I was a bit in the dumps.
Then I came to this forum and I got my wind back.
I can't tell you how much all of your kind words are reprogramming me.
Things aren't as bad, when I know I have a group of like minded people there to support me.
In time I will become the support and the cycle will continue.
This has, hands down, been the best experience I have ever had on the internet.
Nothing can come even close to the strength I find in bucks, jt808, christine, eagle, christine, nrecovery, sway, wonderwhat, discretekarma, gizzy and the rest of you.
You guys are so rad, you have no idea.
Thanks to you my mind is starting to find a new way to think.
Now I am starting to think about what I am going to do INSTEAD of getting high.
I have made plans, goals, said I love you to relatives, burnt all of my connections.
This is something that I haven't done in years.
It feels like I have put my life on hold for these last few years.
I just pushed the pause button for a second time, and the tape finally feels like it is rolling.
In the past every thing came second to getting 'fixed'.
(Who every came up with that expression?
Wouldn't a better expression be getting "broke".
That word covers both money and mind.)
I digress.
Today is going to be a big day for me.
I have made plans to leave the house.
Not for a few minutes, but the entire day.
Right about I am wishing I didn't make any plans,
but I know tonight I will be happy I moved around all day.
I consider my process here, and my drug experience as a whole, as the tempering of steel. Hot cold Hot cold.
My mind is getting stronger.
I am not ashamed anymore.
In fact I am a little proud.
Sincerely,
Your brother in the mountains,
Joshua From Oregon
When I woke, or should i say quit trying to sleep, this morning, I was a bit in the dumps.
Then I came to this forum and I got my wind back.
I can't tell you how much all of your kind words are reprogramming me.
Things aren't as bad, when I know I have a group of like minded people there to support me.
In time I will become the support and the cycle will continue.
This has, hands down, been the best experience I have ever had on the internet.
Nothing can come even close to the strength I find in bucks, jt808, christine, eagle, christine, nrecovery, sway, wonderwhat, discretekarma, gizzy and the rest of you.
You guys are so rad, you have no idea.
Thanks to you my mind is starting to find a new way to think.
Now I am starting to think about what I am going to do INSTEAD of getting high.
I have made plans, goals, said I love you to relatives, burnt all of my connections.
This is something that I haven't done in years.
It feels like I have put my life on hold for these last few years.
I just pushed the pause button for a second time, and the tape finally feels like it is rolling.
In the past every thing came second to getting 'fixed'.
(Who every came up with that expression?
Wouldn't a better expression be getting "broke".
That word covers both money and mind.)
I digress.
Today is going to be a big day for me.
I have made plans to leave the house.
Not for a few minutes, but the entire day.
Right about I am wishing I didn't make any plans,
but I know tonight I will be happy I moved around all day.
I consider my process here, and my drug experience as a whole, as the tempering of steel. Hot cold Hot cold.
My mind is getting stronger.
I am not ashamed anymore.
In fact I am a little proud.
Sincerely,
Your brother in the mountains,
Joshua From Oregon
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