Do you want to be my De-tox friend?

[intothedarkagain]

Hi everyone,
I am not sure I am a fluke or what. I have a very special habit. For the last few months I am experienced what I would call a total downward spiral. My dose was about 300-500mg of oxy snorted daily. More if I could get my hands on it.
That’s how much it took to feel normal. I haven’t got a buzz in months. I am trying to fight the dragon. Needless to say I have a problem. I doze out in public, with friends; I have run out of excuses. I fell asleep and crashed my car. I have officially become a danger to the community.
I have de-toxed 37 times in the last 10 years. Each one of them hold a special place of misery in my heart. Yesterday I started my 38th time.
Every time it feels worse than it did before. I feel like am going to die. I am afraid to seek help because what it would do to my reputation. Not that falling asleep in public doesn’t get the whole thing away.
Does someone want to be my de-tox friend? That is what I need right now.
I feel like I am going to die.

Sincerely,
quickdraw from oregon

[bucksfan]

Hey Friends,
I am still here just wanted to pop in real quick and say I am proud of yall. Intothedark and JT I truly think you guys are going to make it this time. The attitude is amazing, I am witnessing something special.

[intothedarkagain]

It is great to hear from you guys.
Here we are.
Day three.
Wow.
What a trip this has been.
Repleat with ups and downs.
Right now I am in a bit of the downs, but I am sure that will go away when the sun comes up.
I have a hard time keeping the moral high when the lights are out, and I can't sleep.
I bet you know how that is Sway...right?
My mind is right...and that is all that matters.
Last night was really hard for me guys.
That one hurt me a bit.
I didn't cave.
I won't because of you.
Joshua

[sway1]

don't know why i thought your name was christine. must have been one of the responses you got. sorry. day 3 here too. also not sleeping. want to take some benzos but they tend to make me do stupid things after a few days. i am awed at how many people picked up your thread. that's great. lets you know you are in the right place. good luck. peace.     sway

[intothedarkagain]

I did it!
Day three.
I met day three wide awake.
I don't know when I am going to get any sleep.
It will be soon.
You can't live without it.
I know I am not going to die...it just feels like it right now.
I love you guys.
Thank you so much.
Joshua From Oregon

[intothedarkagain]

I'm here.
Like I can sleep anyway.
Who am I fooling.
So you are fighting it hard right now.
I am too.

My legs.
I hate feeling like i need to go somewhere.
I kick and kick.
sweat.
cold.
sweat.

I am here for you.
JOshua

[jt808]

hey guys i just got back on i feeln lik sht and kno if wont slp nite its hitn me hard now, talk u all later ill prob b around if anyone up. have good nite all