Drug tests

[Utility]

Some of you may already know my story but I had a girlfriend that was a 3-month heroin addict. She admitted herself to rehab for 3 days of detox and was prescribed suboxone, which allegedly helped her quit. However, a couple of weeks later, she started acting strange asking for money, taking extended bathroom breaks, remaining awake all nights and smoking endlessly. She promised to never return to the city where she was getting her drugs as she has no business there and lives 2 hours away. However, I know for a fact she went there twice and the second time, I caught her red handed  as she went there about 2 hours after she was very upset with me for not giving her money.A week before I caught her in the city, I had asked her to dissolve suboxone in front of me for 2 days and she did so I am partly confident that she isn't doing heroin. However, based on her behaviors and frequent money requests, I am positive she is using something, I just don't know what. Anyways, i cut off all communication with her because of her alleged lies and broke up the relationship. She has been texting me daily urging me to reconsider as she is 100% clean (which I don't believe whatsoever) and she left me a message saying that she would administer a home drug test in front of me. I am considering doing it but I have a few questions. Does a 6 panel CVS test pretty effective and accurate? How is it administered? How can I ensure she isn't cheating when taking it? How fast can I get the results? How are results read? Thanks in advance for all your inputs.

[Utility]

Kristen, thank you very much for your support and congrats on being clean. I believe you may have missed my point about the "repulsive" comment. I didn't mean the people that use the drug repulse me, I meant the drugs themselves do. I apologize for not being clear.
I know you said that I should accept her the way she is if I loved her but the main problem I have is I believe she is hiding it from me. I just want her to be straightforward so she can get help. I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with her using but I would have a problem with her not trying her very best to get sober for herself first, her young daughter and me. No amount of love is enough to stand being around an addict that doesnt want help.

[worried878]

Clarification
I would not date an active addict who is still using

[worried878]

agree..her addiction is a disease...if she were a diabetic u would not discard her...had to think about it
being an addict..i cant say i would choose to date one..i would not as it wouldnt be healthy for me to do so..it would invite relapse for me
Kowing what u r dealing with and educating urself is smart..if u didnt care about her u wouldnt be here..really she needs to be posting here...but when we truly love a person..guess we love them in spite of their diseases and weaknesses...tough topic and u r living this..we r on the outside looking in

[kimbraveheart]

I think you should just turn up and get her to do the test in front of you. As some said she may have a stash ready but if you make her do it in front of you then she cant do this. I think you should maybe give her another chance to prove to you that she is clean as she seems to want to prove to you that she is clean. I also was rather upset when you used the word repulsive, we do not want to be addicts, most of us have a genuine reason why we turned into addicts, it usually happens over time and before we know it we are addicts. Addiction is an illness, its like any other illness but very hard to treat. Your girlfriend probably didnt want to be an addict she just found herself to be an addict one day and she decided to tell you and get help. She could have kept lying and let it go on for longer and she could have picked her addiction over you which she didnt. A lot of people do pick their addictions over their partners and end up splitting up with them. You do have to look after yourself but i would give it one more shot and see if you get the result you want. I really hope you do get the result you want, i really do. Keep us updated and let us know whats happening and what the outcome is. Best of luck and look after yourself...Kim

[blahsville]

Im just gonna throw my 2 cents in here. I was a daily heroin user for just under a year well over 10 yrs ago.  I finally kicked it but it was a long hard war that had many battles that were lost. Im currently kicking pain pills and like your girlfriend Ive lied to the man I love in order to get high.  Man that hurts to even type that out, but its the ugly truth. My love for him and for our life together has been a huge part of why Ive made it 8 days thus far.

oh yeah my 2 cents....as far as the drug test goes, do you really even need one?  I mean if she is doing heroin seems to me it would be pretty obvious.  Is she nodding out, falling asleep sitting up that is, eyes glassy, pupils dialated (very small).  Have you ever seen her before when you knew for sure she was high?  seems to me you would be able to notice when she got back from her mystery 2 hr trips.

also, if you do decide to continue the relationship, I would think it a good idea that you explain to her that she is not to ask for money from you and no more secret trips away from you.  If she needs to go somewhere go with her.

just some ideas in case you do decide to work it out, thats your decision of course.  I dont feel qualified to answer that one.

I wish you the best of luck in life and love

[Jebs317]

Hi,
I have also been following your story.  I haven't said anything because I am on the other side of this.  I am addicted to pain pills.  In August, my boyfriend (ex now) found my stash.  He held them in front of me and said "It's jail or detox......you pick".  I was scared enough to pick detox.  I knew I had a problem, but this was the wrong thing for him to do.  He called the police in front of me and made me tell him, while he was on the phone, who I got them from, their name and phone number etc....  I was scared to death!  I went to detox for 5 days....and stayed clean for a month.  He didn't leave my side.....but it wasn't to be supportive, it was to evaluate every move I made.  I didn't leave the house much and when I did he either went with me or clocked the mileage and gas in my car.  I had to account for every penny that I spent....and I mean EVERY penny.  He would threaten me daily to bring home a drug test......and I would beg him to just do it because I knew I was clean.  He became so controlling that after a while, I just shut down.  Once I began to get back on my feet, I decided that I didn't get clean for me, I got clean for him.  I started getting pills again from my doctor.  I kicked him out and decided that I would rather use than live like that.  After 4 months, I decided to get clean for myself and realized that I was using out of spite and detoxed myself.....I am on day 17 and feel great.  
The statement that you made about using being repulsing.......quite frankly.....repulsed me!!  If you have never been an addict, then you just don't know!  Addiction has no prejudice.....it doesn't just affect homeless, jobless people.....like you see in the movies.  It affects career people, who are mothers and fathers and live their lives the right way except for having a problem with a drug.  
Speaking for myself, I didn't ask to become addicted to pain pills.......it happened gradually over time until it got so bad that it swallowed me up!  We didn't wake up one day and say "I think I will become an addict today!"

I am torn by how I feel about you and your situation.  I think it is wonderful that you care so much about her.  I also think that the energy you put into not believing her, you should spend by taking her to NA meetings and to a therapist.  If you are going to be with her, you are going to have to accept her addiction and realize that she comes with this baggage in her life.  
I hope that you aren't angry by what I have said, but just wanted to give you another side of this.
Good luck to you and to her.....I hope she can see that there is a great life waiting for her after drugs.
Kristen