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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Early morning craving

Been on Norco for about 6 years, started 5 mg , now up to 4-5 10 mg per day.  I have tried to quit, but after "accidentally" running out, and experiencing 2 days go w/d didn't want to go through it….I had successfully tapered off on preparation for a drug test for a new job, I passed the drug test ( amount to hydro in my system apparently was acceptable , it must have been consistent with my reported "use" go 1-2 tabs 2-3 times a week "pen"…That was almost 2 years ago.  No,w I wake up around 5 a.m. feeling that w/d, and take a 10 mg and in about 30 minutes, "the magic feeling" comes over me, that tingling, and I drift back into a very precious sleep.  I have a high pressure full-time job, and the meds have turned on me.  I don't want them any more, I NEED them,  I'm sure many who read know all too well, you don't feel right at all if more than 6 or 7 hours go by without your "pill".  I now consider myself officially addicted.   Can I get through a self-detox without losing my (new-8 month) marriage and my job?  I can't take a chance and go to detox even though I have great health insurance, the ******* at work would ruin my life even more than it is.  (A lot of envy issues, I am thin and attractive,  well-like by my clients,degreed, intelligent, bubbly and witty….most of the others are dumpy,frumpy, fat, and just plain stuck with their domestic situation).  I am well on my way to getting yet another degree, even though I work full time.  I should be smarter than this.  I feel a change in my emotional and physical health.  I just took another pill about 1/2 hour ago after not having one for about 5 hours, and feeling better, that is a sign that I am addicted.  I know the dangers of drug addiction, yet here I am in the middle of it.  My real family has quite a history of it, lost brothers, sisters, mother to heroine and alcoholism,  I have all of those things, how I am still alive is a miracle, considering all I have put my body through.  Any suggestions on the most comfortable way to detox, if there is such a thing…my first time on a forum, feel exposed and vulnerable, but know that someone, maybe a lot of someone's can relate.  I am 51 y/o MWF. In reading these posts, really people take 100 mg or more a day, like more than 8 or 10 pills?  
11 Responses
Avatar universal
Hey, Kat I read your post and welcome. I gotta note something: you took your pills about 30 minutes before you posted which means you have the "magic" feeling while you were writing. I have done that: got up the nerve to write when the high kicked in. Then when I came down again, I felt differently about posting. So, I'm just asking if you will stick around when you are clean? Please do!!

What you wrote about your history? Pretty much identical to me. And many many others. You may have be busy and have work etc but trust me, you will start to lose what you have. If you are really serious about quitting, you have to do it as the number one priority. A degree, work, your marriage etc. has to take a back-burner for you to get clean or you will end up having nothing in your life to worry about. Your hubbie will have to know. How can you keep that from him? It's not just detoxing and it's over. You are an addict so you will need to work on your recovery: staying clean. Getting clean is easy, STAYING clean is hard.

As far as detoxing, no there is easy way, just gotta do it. It sux so bad, but none of us can avoid it. Look up the Thomas recipe and get the basics on there to help you.

You have to cut your ties to pills: street, "friends", dr etc. If you have access, you'll take em.

Let us know when you are ready to start and we will be here. You don't want 6 years to turn into 16....

Keep posting.
Avatar universal
Hi, thanks for your return post…I very much want to keep closest this.  I had 5 years of sobriety when I was a young girl of 24.  Magic, that was.   This disease is insidious!  Back out for 20 years, but this time drugs involved.  its not really the drinking, but I know it does not help.   i have not had a drink today and this actually feels better.  Getting ready to hit the sack now, I am so thrilled that someone actually "listens"…I have told my husband, "hinted" that I have been taking a bit too much medication lately.  He is very supportive.  I know he will stick by me.  I have to make that decision, and even if I have to take time off work, so be it.  You are right, I know it.  I will come back on  to forum tomorrow sometime after work.  Thanks so much for your feedback, it sure is good to know that I am not aloneI guess I just think everyone else with an Rx just takes it "normally:, but I can't see how that could be possible, given the addictive nature of this drug! I never really "run out" but still feel like even at 4 sometimes 5 a day, it has be imprisoned. and do the doctor's know this???
Avatar universal
Hey there! I'm really glad you told your husband! It will be a lot easier to  detox now than waiting until you are taking more and/or taking something stronger. I was exactly where you were many yrs ago. Only taking norco. Because I didn't take the time to get help (aftercare,meetings,ect.) I am on day 6 of coming off 120-150mg of oxycodone, Xanax and soma. So to answer your question about people being on more than 100mg.. Yes unfortunately it happens all the time. The good news is that it doesn't have to be you! Take our/my mistakes and learn from them:) I'm not going to tell you that is the easiest thing you will ever do but it will be the best! Keep posting and let us know how you are doing! --Jess
Avatar universal
After reading your comments, it was like reading my own story. You commented on my post yesterday about recovery is possible. A few things for thought, it's nice that you have a new marriage, your job, and feel good about your appearance. But I will share that also being an addict and alcoholic since the age of thirteen. And having had 10 years recovery at 23 then going back out, never being able to attain clean time again for the next 29 years. The marriage was gone, lost the kids, the house, the numerous jobs. My dignity, then my health. Sorry to share this, you're not a different kind of addict. You are an addict ! And untreated, you will lose all you have. Trust me it's the unique educated ones that never find recovery. Or die, the progression is real, and you know this based on your history. One day like me you will cross that line of no return. I too am now well educated, pretty groovy, have a great profession, a fabulous home, and a relationship that endured addiction for the past 17 years. And yes still have my teeth lol, BUT I AM AN ADDICT ! In the grips of my addiction. None of what I have meant anything to me, not even my 2 Beatuful grandaughters. Alls that mattered to me was feeling good, and chasing highs, and doing things I won't disclose out of pure embarrassment to attain that high, and yes always looking for the easier softer way out until there was no out ! It was recover or die ! I've lost both my parents, 2 stepsons, then my own son of 23 all to this desease. Yesterday was the 6th yr anniversary of his overdose. I am 51. I never thought I'd end up where I did, but again there's a turning point where 1 is too many and a 1000 is never enough. 7 months clean, I still don't care about all these things I have. The job is gone, due to being caught stealing drugs in my well respected position, the relationship is strained, my health is on the mend. And my brain well it is barely starting to heal, which will take years. But today I don't have to pick up a substance of any kind to feel good. And I crave my own respect, not that of others. And today I'm proud to say I Am An Addict, an Addict in recovery. Who now helps others to recover. And damn lucky I didn't die in active addiction. So I caution you on the easier softer way. Sure there are things to take. Lots of them as a matter of fact. But until you are ready to accept that you are addicted and are willing take responsibility and to do something about it. You're going to remain in active addiction, and most lucky land in the same place many of us have had to land, before we are seriously ready to stop which is rock bottom. Before you get honest enough and truely surrender you will not recover. I share this out of pure compassion, yet brutal honesty as well. You're no different than any other addict here. From Yale to Jails honey. We all suffer from an illness if untreated will kill us.
Just food for thought ... May you choose recovery ( ¥ )
LIldz
Avatar universal
Yup lildz is absolutely right!! It doesn't matter who you are,how beautiful or smart or how good your job is. The pills don't give a sh¡t. They'll take you weather you live in a penthouse or under a bridge. I have a good job,two beautiful kids and a awesome husband and I know I'm pretty....but I'm an addict! For 11 years I was prescribed oxy. I did take 13 days off of work when I quit,but I still had to take care of my kids. I almost would have rather worked. There I can fake it. My babies needed all my attention. What you're on isn't as strong as oxy and I did survive the w/d's they just sucked!  Quit NOW, before you lose everything. I'm lucky I'm still young and quit when I did. It's only day 28 today. I started aftercare yesterday, that's a must as I've learned. I tried doing it alone, the mental part wears on you and you need an outlet. I'm just seeing a counsler right now. Haven't tried a meeting. You need to consider the after care for when you quit. I told my husband,they know we needed the meds,so it's ok to tell them you became addicted. It's not ok to hide it,because then you're having secrets, you don't want secrets. You want him to trust you,now trust him to be there for you!
Avatar universal
Oops I ment *medkat* sorry lildz.
Avatar universal
Oh wait I did have that right. Lol. I was quoting lildz.
Avatar universal
It's all good ... Congratulations on your day 28. Huge ! And I agree it was follow thru care that got me to 7 months.
6726276 tn?1421126668
We Care!
I went to the hospital.  Use your great insurance & GO.
Then go to outpatient hospital. I did.
Then support groups for aftercare.
I still had to deal with relapses. I'm an addict. Also suffer bipolar.
  If you want to quit you will. You've gotten excellent advice here. Pamela
Avatar universal
Oops It's actually day "29"! long day. Still very minimal sleep. And 7 months is HUGE!! Congrats!!
Avatar universal
You tspered successfully once really low. You can do it again. Your purpose - TO QUIT!!!  And this time taper till you are at 1/4-1/2 a couple times a day then slowly walk off. You'll some wd's dtill but not as bad.

You can do this!!  
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