Family And Addiction

[gizzy32]

They say that sometimes addiction runs in families or in our genes, but i grew up in a family where i never ever saw my parents drunk and they have never used any drugs. I have no excuse to as why i am an addict, it was drilled into my head that drugs were bad and i was never pressured into using by friends either. I know many people grow up with parents that are addicts and become addicts themselves. I guess i wanted to know briefly if you were brought up in that type of environment or were you brought up never seeing drugs or alcohol? Did seeing family use alcohol and drugs make it easier for you to use? If you are able to talk about it, how did it effect you?

[swinneymom]

I never saw my dad drink or smoke he had a heart attack at 27 , I was 11. That was also when I saw my mom drink for the first time she didnt even start smoking til she was 40. She was a pastors kid who got pregnant after being raped at a party at 16, married at 19, death of a child at 25, husband at 26 and father at 27. Lots of sadness and excuses to drink. My mom is addicted to the bottle, so are me and my siblings. My brother and I are bad addicts, we both also suffer ptsd. Anyway hope this helps.

[notgoingdown]

Oh yeah! I also have my kids to watch Intervention. Matter of fact an episode of this was how I helped my 12 yr old to understand that his biological dad was an addict. He was wanting to go spend the summer with him a 6 hour drive away. When I told him that he couldnt because of his dad's drug use he tried to tell me that his dad just took medicine because the car wreck messed his back & arm up. (let me know real quick that he had seen something that needed to be explained away which REALLY ticked me off!)
Funny thing is my hubby now was always as against people who abused pain meds as me and now I am pretty sure that he is one of those people.

[desperate1111]

my dad was a functioning alcoholic, my sister was an alcolholic for over 20 years, quit when she got some sort of disease related to alcoholism. my dad died trying to quit on his own (in the 60's). his health was apparently too poor. i was a poor child of the 70's doing any drug i could just for fun but always could walk away from it. until tramadol and hydros around 2003. been a battle evr since. i could easily have other drug addicts in my family that i don't know about. i hid my addiction well.

[CR_ST_NA]

yea good topic, i come from a long line of single mothers and a long line of pill poppers. my mom popped lortab, valium, soma's etc. she started giving me halves of lortab when i was 13 to help with menstral cramps so it was like no big thing when i started taking them for chronic pain.

[SophieShine]

No drugs, no alcohol, no pills, no excuses here.

[merrymaria]

my dad was an alcoholic most of my life....he went to rehab in the early 80 s...stayed clean 12 years then went on a 3 day binge and dropped dead of a massive heart attack.  mom never touched anything...me growing up in the 70 s smoked some herb but never had a problem with it...and yeah we drank beers on the weekend but i never needed it to function like my dad........he would have to take a drink upon awakening to stop shaking....makes me want to cry.   but then pills came along.....yes i became addicted just like my dad...needed to pop those pills every morning to get my head right...horrible.
i believe it is passed down some how.....maria

[luppygirl]

I have such a long history in my family with alcohol abuse it is scary... nothing about drugs that I can remember.  I do remember my uncle (the alcohol) dropping dead days before his daughter wedding.  But she was so used to his ways that she had the wedding anyways.  And good for her he had ruined so many other important things in her life why let him ruin one of the best of all.  My mom rarely drank.  And now if you even mention drinking she freaks out.  My dad had the "bug" but with my mom's nagging he just quit drinking all together.  If you've heard my mother nag you would know why it would be easier to quit then not... lol  anyways i almost think anybody has the potential depending on what enviorment  they grow up in or later what crowd you chose to hang out with.  So yes I thinks genetics have something to do with it but i also think who you chose to hang out with and what choices you make do have an impact on whether or not you get bitten by the ( bug ) so to say.

[luppygirl]

I have such a long history in my family with alcohol abuse it is scary... nothing about drugs that I can remember.  I do remember my uncle (the alcohol) dropping dead days before his daughter wedding.  But she was so used to his ways that she had the wedding anyways.  And good for her he had ruined so many other important things in her life why let him ruin one of the best of all.  My mom rarely drank.  And now if you even mention drinking she freaks out.  My dad had the "bug" but with my mom's nagging he just quit drinking all together.  If you've heard my mother nag you would know why it would be easier to quit then not... lol  anyways i almost think anybody has the potential depending on what enviorment  they grow up in or later what crowd you chose to hang out with.  So yes I thinks genetics have something to do with it but i also think who you chose to hang out with and what choices you make do have an impact on whether or not you get bitten by the ( bug ) so to say.

[refusingbondage]

I agree- I talk to my son, who is 12 too, about drugs as often as possible.  I don't remember ever being lectured to say no to drugs when I was his age.  We talk about, he is part of the DARE program at school and we started watching Intervention (the tv show on A&E) together. Its so important to me that he knows the consequences of what can happen.  Of how much you can lose and what you can turn into.  You are exactly right - many kids experiment with beer and pot but not all of the turn into addicts. He, being my son has a good chance of that happening as I am an addict and my father was too.

[notgoingdown]

It depends on the day of the week how I feel about it. Some days I am sure that my kids will pay the price for the crappy fathers I picked out for them. Other days I am sure that my guidance as a parent will overcome the genetics. My dad drank socially and my mom drank in what I always considered an extreme nature. She didnt drink everyday, she could go months in between but when she did drink it was always to get drunk. She smoked for a couple of decades. She quit smoking ct with no type of help in what had to be the most stressful of situations about 20 yrs ago and never picked up another one. She quit drinking for at all for about 10 yrs or so but I have noticed at a few holiday parties & weddings that she is now able to just have a drink. Who knows why she can do it now but couldnt before. I dabbled with drink and recreational drugs in my early adulthood and smoked for over 20 yrs. Never got addicted to anything and quit the smoking with no problems.
One of the things that I do to try to help the upbringing overcome the genetics is I am very open with my kids. I have had many talks with them (especially the 12 yr old) explaining that many of their friends might be able to 'dabble' with drugs or alcohol and walk away from it with nothing more than fuzzy memories of high school. He is different tho... he has addictive genes running rampant thru him on his dad's side as well as from my own parents. Before he ever tries that first drink, toke or pill he is already 50% more likely to become addicted to it than some of his friends may be. I dont hide what people's addictions have done to their lives from them... I make it a point to highlight what they have lost and the messes they make of any people they might know with addictions.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Just remember that if it is genetic, it has nothing to do with if your parents actually did drink or use drugs. I do believe that the tendency to have addictive behavior may be genetic. I do know that with alcohol they have shown this to be true.

[newmanagment]

G, as you know im a lil different than most here. I was raised in bars , and drugs and alcohol were as common as cars and trucks. my parents were the drinkers , along with uncles that also used drugs, and mosta my family were my best customers by the time I turned 13. that said , we have changed alot, an not just me. Dad passed and Mom quit drinkin, my cuzs all cleaned up, sis has been clean a long time now. a couple nieces, a nephew, and some brothers and uncles still party. I think that when the "drugs are evil" scene is played too hard as it wuz for a few posters here, that yall tend to go.... "hey wait, if its soo bad and ya dont want me to do it, maybe im missin somethin?"
kinda like tellin ya daughter she cant date a certain boy, somethin we are both gonna have to try not to do in a few years LOL.
as for addiction being hereditary, it may well be. i have centuries of addiction on both sides of my family. but that doesnt mean that we cant overcome that in our children with the right amount of love, oversight , and knowledge.

[spider51]

Good question

I posted awhile ago, but it does not look like it came thru.. so if it does it will be kind of a duplicate comment

I grew up in the Irish Catholic family where EVERY activity revolved around drinking, drinking and drinking.  My Mom was the heavier drinker of my parents, but they both drank.  Whisky.  My Moms paternal side were all alcoholics.  My Mom was mean to me when she drank, and my dad was just kinda mean anyways even when he was sober.
A very impatient man.  Anyway..long story, I remember vividly when I was about 12 years old I saw an ad in our weekly Catholic Church Bulletin for Al-A-Teen- This was in the 70's.  I wanted to go so badly to get support, but knew that I couldn't because we were well known in the Church and I would be considered 'dead' if my Mom found out I had gone.  So......................Her father committed suicide because of Alcohol and several  of my  family members (prominent business people) mixed pills and alcohol and also passed away.    
I look back when I was 12 years old and wish I had gone to that meeting.  Fortunatley my parents are still alive, and they are still drinkers.  Into their 80's and still drinking. (and a few  drunken falls and broken bones)  But as time has gone on, I love them so so much and am glad they are still here with me

I am not a drinker, but I am now up to about 18 10/325 Norcos  per day.
I am one of the nicest people I know, but I take way too many of these and
I cannot seem to stop, no matter how hard I try.   I need help

[spider51]

te

[stevelle]

I saw my mom drunk a lot when I was growing up. Lots of dissapointments & broken promises. Swore I would never do that to my kids. & I don't. Always in control. My step dad raised me from age 5 w/my mom & her drinking led them to divorce. My biological father (passed away now)  was a heroin addict though I rarely saw him. Have lots of alcohol & drug use on moms side. Most functioning though. I rarely drink now. W/3 teens, I don't want them going down that path. There's no smell to pills right? It's time

[road2recovery]

Good question...I have always heard that it is heriditery s/p?  but still unsure what i beleive..
For me, I grew up with alcohol constantly...My dad was a severe alcoholic and my mom drank alot also..aunts , uncles also...Damn near my whole family...I just dont' know...My dad doesn't drink anymore, but extended family still does...you can't go to a wedding, baby shower, birthday party without alcohol...It is pitifull..

[LIZZIE LOU]

i'm not an addict...nor is my husband.  my parents werent...neither were his.

my dad's father was a drunk and heroin addict.  he died at 63 from a BAD liver...he was on methadone til the day he died.  he had 8 brothers...all addicts of some sort.  dad's brother was a recovering alcoholic of 50 years before he died.

my mom's mother was an alcoholic.  her sister is an alcoholic.  

[Korley]

sorry I am losing it, but that is pretty funny. I actually know someone who's nickname is ziggy! Anyway, I am sure that you could purchase it online or maybe you have a store near you that is based on recovery, I know that we do. Or better yet, maybe just go online and put in doctors opinion in A.A book. It is a few pages long, but maybe it's on there. It really explains it though, at least it really helped me to understand it!

[starfish1963]

This is a hard question.  Back years ago, people didn't know alcohol was a desease and was socialy excepted.  Drugs where only for hippies that didn't want to go to war ;) ;)  Sex was taboo to talk about.  My parents classified weed with heroin.  Denial was part of my parents denying it, if they didn't recognize it, it wasn't happening.  I am a child of six.  They wanted to believe the lies IMHO  Two siblings battled their own demons while the others function fine.  My addiction started with physical injuries and excalaited into addiction.  My Grandparents on both sides of my family battled alcohol and or gambling addictions.  My parents where social drinkers.  Of course parents didn't let on about adult problems to children it was part of their culture.  In todays society we (as in parents) are more open with our children which is a great thing if you ask me.  
I talk to my children (who are young adults) and have for years about sex, drugs, life, choices and I tell them nothing will ever change the way I love them, that is unconditonal.  I may not like the choices they make but I will always support them as a parent.  If they are wrong, pay the price and go on with it but I will always be there for them no matter what.  I like the open communication, some times however I'd rather not have known LOL!  I could have lived not knowing some of the things they did that where not detremental to their health, just my conseption of my children LOL
Addictive personalities are passed down, just insert food, sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, fishing :)

[gizzy32]

Can that book be bought online or just through AA.

P.S. Where did you get Ziggy from, lol.

[Korley]

You know what really helped me to understand the disease better, was reading THE DOCTORS OPINION it the book of A.A. It really explains the disease from the medical profession. I have a friend who almost died from alcoholism, and as far as she knows, no one else in her family has had the disease. Some things in life we just have to accept them for what they are! Thanks again for all of your support!

[sway1]

i was told addicts have a certain chemical in their brain, that left alone, will not go haywire. once triggered however......we know what happens. i think it's called tetrahydraisoquinilone. THIQ for short. i was also told that if you have one addicted parent, then you have a fifty percent probability to become one also. if both parents then hundred percent. but not if you don't trigger the THIQ. oh ****, i'm making myself go crosseyed! seriously these are things that were taught to me in a good long term rehab. it's funny how those ten and a half months are more memorable than pretty much my whole life prior to that. sorry for running on. peace

[bobby139]

I grew up with both my parents being alcoholic's, my mom has passed and my Dad quit drinking about 8 yrs ago when he got sick, my brothers now are alcoholics and so is my husband, so i have been around it all my life

[gizzy32]

The only person in my family that had an addiction that i know of was my Grandfather who was an alcoholic. He finally quit drinking in his 50`s and lived to 80. I never saw any of it, but i heard my Dad talk about it. Other than that, nobody in my family did drugs nor do they understand addiction.