Family...??

[mamaof4410]

Most of you on here know my story.
Wel for the new comers...Im 2 months and 9 days clean from heroin. It nearly destroyed everything I have. My husband has stuck by myside through all of this. Well Thanksgiving is here and alot of my triggers for using was my anxiety. I get fustrated really fast and everytime that happens I think about using (even though I would NEVER go back there) it still happens. My family has alot of issues with eachother. Well my grandma keeps nagging at me about taking my family over to her house for the holiday. I dont want to because I know exactly how its going to be. Its going to be really chaotic and I dont want the stress. Id rather just stay home with my husband and our kids and have a peaceful day. Am I wrong for not wanting to put myself in that position? My husband says I shouldnt feel bad. Im trying to keep myself away from one of my triggers. But I dont want to hurt anyones feelings by not going. Especially my Papa (my grandpa AKA Dad) He had a stroke at the begining of October and when it happen I was so tempted to use again. I dont want any stress that I dont need. Am I wrong for not wanting to go? I dont want to feel guilty. I didnt go for Thanksgiving or Christmas last year becuase my uncle was mad at me. I just dont want to put myself in a stressful place cuz then I will come home, jump in the shower and cry for 2 hours. Please help me.

[clean_in_ks]

Good for you!  Now that we're clean, we are presented with so many opportunites to CHOOSE what is right.  We KNOW what is right and if we expend the energy to explain to those that love us, they (most of the time) support us cause they want us to stay clean.  I have huge triggers with my Mom, so I just communicate WHEN I can, HOW I can, and its usually "electronically".  It has been easy for me lately to focus on helping others, and then my "bucket" is empty and I struggle.  The lesson for me is in DIFFERENT CHOICES!!  Glad your Thanksgiving blessed you!

[mamaof4410]

Well I hope you al had a good Thanksgiving. Mine was awesome. Stayed home with my family. I really got into detail with my husband about why I didnt want to go to my families house. He completely agreed with me. Now I know my family is mad at me, but you know what I took care of ME first. Thank you all so much.

[mamaof4410]

Thank you all so much and I just finished talking with my husband and we are going to stay home. I know I will feel bad but I will feel even worse if I come home stressed from all of their bs. Its not worth it at all.

[seagull25]

My husband had a stroke a few months before Thanksgiving. I remember we hadf a house full of guests for dinner. He was not ready for all the commotion. So, I think you grandfather would really enjoy an one on one visit from you either the day before or the following weekend.

Don't stress yourself and enjoy the day with your family.

Happy Thanksgiving

[Colorless]

I agree with everyone else here...reward yourself with the kind of holiday YOU want right now.  There will be other holidays and other years when you feel better and stronger and can afford to consider others feelings more than your own.  I try to reduce any extra stress on myself I possible can right now, just to play it safe.  You must guard your progress at all costs.  Family will get over it, they always do!

[Bkitty]

Stay home! I was in the same position as you last year! They got over it. It's about u right now. If you do go have an escape route in place.

[mamaof4410]

I know what the right thing is to do I just dont want them saying stuff about me cuz I dont go thats all. I dont want them mad at me. I try to be a people pleaser and I really need to stop

[Sonrissa]

Hi Mama! Please, do NOT let yourself get stressed out! It's high time you focussed on you! I agree with your hubby! If you want to stay home and have a nice and quiet holiday, then do it! For me, this is when I really want to use! I try so hard to be everything to everyone and it just doesn't work!

You are doing amazing! There is no reason to stress yourself out! Have a nice and quiet holiday with your hubby and kids! You will be so happy you did! Take care!

[Pat1956100]

Stay home with your family.  Just make that decision, tell them and then the stress will be gone.  You're not strong enough yet.
Maybe you will be by Christmas.
You have just beat a huge monster and you deserve to spend Thanksgiving where you want to.  
Time to think about you and your family, that is what's most important.