Norco Addiction - The Lies

[sportbikerguy]

I've been contemplating writing this post for several days now and for several reasons.  One, I'm not an expert on the subject, being off Norco for two weeks now and two, I don't have as much experience here as others, but just wanted to write.  Like others here, I was hooked on the stuff daily, made so many excuses in my head to get what I "needed" it's not even countable.  

When I first came here, it was out of desperation.  I was scared of what was going to happen, how I was going to feel, etc.  If you're here, maybe that's your reason too, I don't know.   In my "regular" life, I am a very understandable, dependable and hard-working individual.  I actually consider myself to have a great amount of honesty.  There is something about these pills that throws honesty out the window.  I posted the below list some time ago and just added a few things to it.  As I feel better each day I look at this list to remind myself the things I did to get something I really didn't need.  I'm not asking you to answer them here, but it's just to think about.   A few of you did respond privately, saying that your list was similar to mine, so it seems we all have some themes in common.

1) Do the pills control you, or do you control the pills?
2) Ever feel that "one more" will make you feel better and then regret it later?
3) Ever kick yourself for taking that "one or two more" and then say later " Why did I do that?
4) Hide your pills from friends and family and make excuses for when/if they found them?
5) Become a human calculator so that you know exactly how many pills are left and how long they will last?
6) Ever take that "Just one more" only to convince yourself that you'll cut down on one the following day to make up for the extra one?
7) Ever cut down just a bit, just so the pharmacist would refill the next one without question?  (Takes a lot of willpower)
8) Search the house from top to bottom when you're just about out, just in case you placed a few pills here and there?
9) Ever call a friend to see if they had any, making any excuse (that your doctor was on vacation, etc)?
10) Ever consider an "accidental" slip or fall, just so you could go to the doctor for more pills (stronger pills?)
11) Fake an injury or aliment just so that you can get some "relief"?
12) Lie to your doctor that you lost your prescription or that someone must have "stole" your pills?
13) Skip meals just that you don't ruin the "high"?

It is true what others say here though, that it does get better in time after you quit.  I'm getting my energy back, I'm starting to eat normally and am sleeping pretty good.  It is also true that it's not a walk in the park the first week or two, would you expect it to be?  A large number of us want there to be some easy fix, some simple thing (or pill) to take to make things better.   There are some alternatives for withdrawals, talk to your doctor about it if you can, it helped me immensely.  Talking here has also helped me, this is my therapy too.   Listen to what others have to say and learn from what they do.  

The most important thing I wanted to say was that you just need to be honest with yourself and your doctor.  Be honest with people here too, it's all confidential and we're not here to BS you, most of us are in the same boat.  

YOU control your life, you can make the right decision, it's all about YOU and not some chemically based pill that distorts reality.  Are you tired of it all?   It's time that YOU do something about it.   Like I said earlier, it's not a walk in the park, but just think of where you will be in just a short amount of time.   Life is too short to be playing games and making excuses.   I spent way too much time and energy on lies and excuses and it's time I take control of MY life, perhaps it's time for you too?

Mark

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 2 weeks clean!!!  I couldnt of said this any better.  Great post!!!         sara

[lori5997]

very inspirational, just what i needed thank you, I'm glad you're starting to feel better!

[LeaAnn807]

Awesome job detailing "my life" before I got clean!  We are all in the same boat here.  Maybe a different pill or drug of choice but everyone just came here for help and support!

Way to go on 2 weeks!  

Well done!!!

[JessieJade]

Yes, thank you for this. Your post helps put things into perspective. The redundancy of the never-ending lies & excuses, stressing about pills, where am I gonna get my next batch? It's sooo consuming. Not to mention the GUILT. Congrats on your 2 weeks! Well done <3

[oompah54]

BIG HOORAY!!!!!  2 WEEKS CLEAN.   I found your post very insightful, especially the list of questions.  I'm not proud to say it but would truthfully have to answer "yes" to almost every question.  It just reminds me how far I've come (31 days today!!!)  

Praying for continued success and strength for all of us.   Deb    

[micheleTX]

congratulations!  Yes yes and yes to most of those questions, ugh!  Im on day 138, I was wrong and didn't count the days right.  So, I am here to tell you, it gets sooo much better the longer you are off these pills.  I wake up everyday with a smile, no kidding.  I am just happy to have jeans with pockets on them that are empty now.  No worrying about how many I have, what's left in the bottle, all that bs...
Very good post, thank you Mark :)  Praying for your continued success!!

[Rich99]

I too am just coming off valium and other benzos after using them for 6 months.   I am free of any benzo for the past few weeks and darn glad.      Your post is a reminder to those out in cyberland that you and your doctor should do everything possible to make you healthy prior to starting a new med.     It won't be easy since many doctors find it easier to just prescribe meds plus they are pressured by all the free samples and talk from the pharmacy sales people who enter their office nearly everyday.   Lets not kid ourselves here,   the biggest drug pushers are not found on a dark and dreary urban corner,  they are the sales reps who enter your doctor's office all the time.   They are working on behalf of themselves and the giant companies they represent.    Yes some medicines are very helpful but beware all the traps people get themselves into by reading all the posting in this forum thoroughly.

[micheleTX]

good for you Rich!  congrats on 6 days.  You are completely right.  Here in Texas it is big business, and only growing.  They say they want to shut these places down, but I don't see that happening.  too much money in it.  it is sad.  Good luck to you, and god bless!

[kajama]

amazing how so many people including myself can related, great post

[BorisCA]

How true everything you wrote is. I could not have written it better and have almost done everything on the list so many times. How guilty I feel. I also consider myself a pretty honest guy, but the pills will make me lie to myself and others. I am checking into rehab Wednesday to get off my oxi addiction. I wish you well.

[Theblondeonetx]

I think you said it for all of us. I was reading this "list" to my boyfriend who knows my addiction inside and out and the look on his face was priceless. Searching the house, skipping a meal so you don't ruin the high, "one more pill tonight and I won't take ANY tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll start, yep, tomorrow" then by noon "tomorrow" your already thinking about "ok there's always tomorrow" again. Ugh the cycle of addiction. Goof post.

[sportbikerguy]

Thanks for the encouragement on the two weeks.  I used to think that two weeks was a short amount of time.  In reality it is, but after so many years with a daily habit, two weeks seems quite a bit longer.  I am honestly feel better, still a little trouble with the eating part because I skipped breakfast and lunch every single day, just for that "high."   I'm getting there, one day at a time and each day bring a stronger sense that I can overcome this.   I will admit that I am the *biggest* baby when it comes to pains/dentists/doctors needles, so if *I* can do it, anyone can -- you just need that motivation to do what is right for YOU.