Getting Sober --Bloodshot eyes

[laurab63]

I have a question re. someone close to me who states that he quit drinking three weeks ago but his eyes are still very bloodshot.  He has had a drinking problem for almost 40 years (since teenager).  His drinking has gotten much worse in the last two years.  I am wondering how long it takes someone's eyes to look normal, e.g. not bloodshot after they quit?

thanks,
Laura  

[laurab63]

Thanks for your response.  Sorry for my very lengthy one below but am in a crisis state right now.

He does not live with me. The person I am referring to is my ex-husband.  We have two girls, ages nine and eleven.  Since a big drinking incident a month ago, the girls have only seen him a little bit with me present  b/c they are afraid to be with him more and my younger daughter is quite depressed.  I am getting the girls (and myself) as much help as possible.  A month ago I took them for their regular visitation at Sat 1 PM for their overnight. He was drunk and has since told me that he had been up all night drinking, knowing they were coming for their regular two days with him.  It was obviously not safe to leave them with him that day.  Unfortunately, he threatened to not let me take them and they witnessed this.  But fortunately we were able to leave his home safely.  

SInce a month ago  he says he has quit drinking and that he is going to AA frequently. He does not have a sponsor.  He has quit many times but never done the real recovery work.  I told him I think he needs inpatient rehab. but he does not want to do this.  I am mainly worried b/c every time he returns to drinking it is more severe.  Last year we had a long court battle due to a big drinking incident with the girls there.  He says now that he has only been able to quit for a few weeks at a time and that it is getting harder to quit every time.

Not sure how often he was drinking but guessing it was frequent.  He usually binges, e.g. staying up all night drinking. I think I have only seen the whites of his eyes a few times in the last couple of years and on those days he looks drastically different -- less bloated, healthier in general -- like  a different person. So usually his pallor is bad, very bloated, gained lots of weight, looks sickly in general.  Poor hygiene, apt. a mess, blackouts he has acknowledged and I have seen.

Now that it has been five weeks since he supposedly quit his eyes still look terrible -- red, half open, glassy sometimes, watering a lot.  It makes it hard to tell whether he is hungover. He has had such a high tolerance that it also can be hard to tell if he has been drinking.

I am trying to take care of my girls so they are stronger emotionally.  I am very anxious about them resuming more time with their dad also b/c it is hard to tell about his state of sobriety.  He has acknowledged it would be detrimental to pressure them right now to see him more than they feel safe with, but then turns around and asks if they can sleep over.  This is the most upset they have ever been. He suggested I get a breathalyzer in the future and use it when I drop them off for time with him.

I would appreciate any advice.

[atthebeach]

Hello and welcome. If he drinks on a daily basis for years he would experience very bad withdrawal symptoms. It is actually quite dangerous to go cold turkey from drinking. Does he live with you? Did he seem sick when he said he quit ?

[laurab63]

yes, he did.

[ROSYouralright]

Lack of sleep is a big thing in the beginning so that could be getting to him... Did he quit cold turkey?