Going thru the worse thing ive ever been thru

[wantourbabyback]

Just to start im sorry to who i make madbut i truely have heard all the bad mean comments and thoughts and i have questions im trying to get answers to . ok well its kind of hard for me to talk about  it i never i would have a story like this. My husband and i just had our first baby together  and  he was born last monday he was perfect 7 pounds 10ounces beautiful all his health screens were perfect and for the first time in the whole 9months my husband and i were happy we both felt like we had everything..  And for the first 2days we had everything till 30 mins before they discharged us . well my health chart had been flagged because i had been to treatment b4 for meth,herion and pills. i had been sober after that for awhile then started using ughh meth again and couldnt stop except for three months in my pregnancy then started using again. Anyway i was to scared to tell my doctor and at the end of my pregnancy i started having extreme high blood pressure i was a week over due so the finally induced me last sunday. once i was at the hospital they were very sneaky about what they were doing but finally monday at 2:30pm he was born healthy 7 pounds 10ounces he was perfect. anyways when it was 30 mins till we could go home a social worker came and told methey put our son on a 24 hour hold cuz i tested positive for meth and they pushed my baby out of my room and took him to the nursery. wtf. my heart was broken the next day came and they said hey were discharging me but my baby was going to be held on a hold by cps.. it didnt seem real it seemed like a bad dream. my husband was mad .. i hate myself for what i have done to my son i talk to the nurses 20times aday to check on him and its killing me to not be holding him i cant believe what i have done he was showing signs of withdrawl so they put him on morphine and he is doing much better they said he will be kept there a month. when my husbands family found out they would call and thearten me and say horrible things just like everyone else i hate myself and will never forgive myself ever. its his week old bday tmrw and he isnt going to b with me i cant stop thinking bout it and i try to be strong but i cant and my husband is mad at me cuz cps is pretty much saying **** you to him. i cant believe i did this it makes me so sick. i have a case worker and nobody will answer my questions so if anyone can help please i need it. everything is harder when u have no support and they only thing u can think bout is what u did to your kid. what usally happens next why r they trying to act like he has no rights to his own son. how long is it going to take me to get him back i will never give up i will do whatever hey ask me to i need my son and so does my husband. this is killing me please someone tell me how i can get thru all this just to go thru it again tommrow

[Pat1956100]

Exactly, you have to find that out because it's not right.  You should be bonding with your son right now.  You should be able to visit him in the hospital. See if you can find out from your caseworker.  Phone her tomorrow and ask her.  You need someone on your side fighting for you.  Be strong with her and if she doesn't seem helpful ask her politely if you need to get a lawyer.  Maybe that will get her moving on helping you see your son.

[wantourbabyback]

Good idea thanks i will. i havent seen him since wednesday i need to see him to feel ok again hes doing great i call and check on him 20 times aday but its not good enough i wanna hold him before i go to treatment for 28 days.

[ms_walker]

Like I said b4, I almost didn't make the rite choices. But I had to woman up n realize no one was gona b on my side but ME. We have to do this for us n our babies. No one else is gona b there n I don't have ne false hope that sumone will. if u ever need to talk I'll b here. When r u goin to rehab?

[wantourbabyback]

The case worker told me yesterday that the time they give me is six months. thats to long for me.. i have my rule 25 today and  hopefully i can start treatment thursday they have spots open. did u find out if ur getting induced

[ms_walker]

6 mos!?!? Omg... That's too long! Can u at least see him? Hold him? Where is he gona go til then? Hopefully not with ur husbands family. I'm so sry to hear that. I don't find out til tomorrow mornin. I got my appt with the methadone Dr today tho. Idk what I'm gona do if they don't let me take my baby home. With getn induced I feel like they're tryn to hurry up n get her out of me so they can take her. Idk tho. What's a rule 25? I'm so happy that ur taking charge n doin what needs to b done. Just see thru it n take it a minute at a time.

[ms_walker]

If u do good maybe it won't b that long. We can only hope n pray