Going thru the worse thing ive ever been thru

[wantourbabyback]

Just to start im sorry to who i make madbut i truely have heard all the bad mean comments and thoughts and i have questions im trying to get answers to . ok well its kind of hard for me to talk about  it i never i would have a story like this. My husband and i just had our first baby together  and  he was born last monday he was perfect 7 pounds 10ounces beautiful all his health screens were perfect and for the first time in the whole 9months my husband and i were happy we both felt like we had everything..  And for the first 2days we had everything till 30 mins before they discharged us . well my health chart had been flagged because i had been to treatment b4 for meth,herion and pills. i had been sober after that for awhile then started using ughh meth again and couldnt stop except for three months in my pregnancy then started using again. Anyway i was to scared to tell my doctor and at the end of my pregnancy i started having extreme high blood pressure i was a week over due so the finally induced me last sunday. once i was at the hospital they were very sneaky about what they were doing but finally monday at 2:30pm he was born healthy 7 pounds 10ounces he was perfect. anyways when it was 30 mins till we could go home a social worker came and told methey put our son on a 24 hour hold cuz i tested positive for meth and they pushed my baby out of my room and took him to the nursery. wtf. my heart was broken the next day came and they said hey were discharging me but my baby was going to be held on a hold by cps.. it didnt seem real it seemed like a bad dream. my husband was mad .. i hate myself for what i have done to my son i talk to the nurses 20times aday to check on him and its killing me to not be holding him i cant believe what i have done he was showing signs of withdrawl so they put him on morphine and he is doing much better they said he will be kept there a month. when my husbands family found out they would call and thearten me and say horrible things just like everyone else i hate myself and will never forgive myself ever. its his week old bday tmrw and he isnt going to b with me i cant stop thinking bout it and i try to be strong but i cant and my husband is mad at me cuz cps is pretty much saying **** you to him. i cant believe i did this it makes me so sick. i have a case worker and nobody will answer my questions so if anyone can help please i need it. everything is harder when u have no support and they only thing u can think bout is what u did to your kid. what usally happens next why r they trying to act like he has no rights to his own son. how long is it going to take me to get him back i will never give up i will do whatever hey ask me to i need my son and so does my husband. this is killing me please someone tell me how i can get thru all this just to go thru it again tommrow

[wantourbabyback]

Keep ur head up hun. she will be very well taken care of. and dont let the two months scare u she will be out and by urside before u know. i got induced at 930pm my son was born 230pm the nxt day.. it was amazing til this started... is anyone going to b there with u.

[wantourbabyback]

Thanks .to me now i feel like giving up but i love my son

[wantourbabyback]

Thank you for the prayers. . well my family i have my mom and cousin and her side but they live in washington state and my mom is  very very badly addicted to hard liq.. and her and my cousing are trying to get us to sign papers so they can adopt him... so besides my dad and brother his family is all.. i just dont know what to do. they hate me and now after this they w do whatever it takes so i can never see him again. im scared

[Tennesseegirl1990]

You talk a lot about your husbands family, who sound awful.
What about your family? Is there any way at all that they could help you? If what you say about his family is right, then would your family not be a better choice? I think I read that you said his dad was abusive;has there been domestic violence charges against him?
Don't let the stress of this bring you to using again. If you feel the urges coming on, go take a walk, a really fast walk, for about a mile or so. That always helps me clear my head and think straight.
Lots of people on here are praying for you, and hoping for the best.

[wantourbabyback]

It can be less as long as i do what im supposed to do .. but now that he is going to his family member they r always going to try and pull ********... im scared they gna keep my son from me.. my husband and i know they dont want him they just want to b able to say haha we have your kid. they want me to never see my son and they still want my husband in his life... i feel like i just had a baby carried it for 9months went thru labor all for someone else

[wantourbabyback]

All the lawyers say they don't want to waste my money cuz they no nothing can be done .. it ***** i got a call from my mom saying that our son is going to go to a family member of his!! Great so now what????