OK, #2 I really can't answer. I have not really had to deal with a lot of the cravings yet. I'm sure that will change when I least expect it. I will be very interested to see what others have to offer and what tools they use to fight their cravings.
Ha funnyweaver. @sarah yea.i have to really think on this.i like these posts that make you think
I heard it, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
I only have the answer to #1 right now. I was so tired of taking vicodin every single day. I had a legitimate script and always took it the way I was supposed to. It scared me that I relayed on this drug so much. I come from a family of addicts and whether it is genetic or a learned behavior, I know that somewhere inside me it is laying in wait. So I guess that I was aware at the rate I was going it was only a matter of time before I got out of control. I am like Ric and superstitious about saying never. What is the saying... we say never and God laughs. I can tell you that I have not had any drugs in over a month and have not had anything to drink in over a year. I plan on it staying that way.
I need to think about this one as there are so many answers so i need to write it down and pick the top 3...
1) It was a day in spring, I had recently kept myself alive by breathing manually leaning on the back of a chair. I was still using after that, and fell to my knees sobbing. I was given a gift of clarity. I could feel my lack of connection to anything; God, people, my own thoughts. Like a flash, I knew that I would die soon and had been accepting that fate. I asked for help.
2) learning what addiction really is and the symptoms of active use, pre relapse, and stages of recovery have helped a lot. Terence Gorski's CENAPS model of recovery taught me how to use the above info in my daily life. I relapsed several times, but avoided taking drugs. My new tools warn me and help me get back on track, before I lose control of my actions again.
3) I'm still in early recovery, though I have had to adjust my expectations and program as I go. As I change, so does my recovery, that is what got me this far.
Excellent post, thank you so much, I gotta come back to this one.
2 - The way I've stayed clean for the last 17 months is because of the three step plan I put in place, with the most important piece being telling my secret. I found that once everyone knows (who needs to know, i.e., family, doc, dentist, etc) it is very, very hard to relapse. When my head starts talking to me, I talk to my wife. I've posted this before - medicine cabinets, people I know who've just had surgery or dental work (including my children) were and are sources. But since my wife knows this, she helps keep me headed in the right direction (watches me like a hawk).
3 - Finally pride - after all this time I have none left. I'm working on living a life and doing things that I can be proud of, but that will take some time. For me, pride had very little to do with my addiction. The minute I started lying to my children most of my emotional insides were trashed.
K