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Avatar universal

Has anybody relapsed?

Has anybody out there got off the pills and then relapsed?  I was 99 days clean I struggled w/ depression, very low stress threshold, low motivation, in life's little everyday matters.  I relapsed. I have been beating myself up ever since. I'm back on pills, morph, patches etc, I want to quit but it seems like my motivation on and/or  off the pills has been a zero. Motivation to just take a walk,clean the house,shop,is simply not there.  I feel like I have no purpose. I want to quit. I'm so tired of fighting myself over my addictions,having people turn their backs on me when I tell them. Tired of having no motivation to do the simple things in life.
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711224 tn?1344771687
Do you have any type of aftercare?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I might be able to get some. I just feel hopeless!
Helpful - 0
185545 tn?1331074866
Hi there. Unfortunately relapse is an all to common part of the recovery journey. In general i am able to pick things up quickly and with little effort but when it came to abstainance i was an extremely slow learner. Guilt and self loathing are also an unfortunate by product of the relapse phenomenon but i d argue that these feelings are indicators that we are at least on the right path and remind us that we have strayed from our intended goals. I know when i was in active addiction i rarely if ever felt any pang of guilt because i used.Dont let these feelings of failure and guilt lead you back.
Stay strong and try and remember that even when we relapse, we must always pick ourselves back up and try,try again.

Regards Jeremy
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Avatar universal
I detoxed in june off a major oxy addiction.I was clean until november when I had back surgery.
I am back on oxy doing 240mgs a day plus 120 mgs of roxicodone a day as well.
Helpful - 0
1255649 tn?1271094312
Hello to you as well anh [email protected] is right,it does happen and if you let the guilt you are feeling take root any deeper then it is gonna dig deeper and pull you right back to the depths of that very dark place. Try hard and remember where you habe been in life and the continued journey that you want to take and by all means be strong and lean on us anytime. I hope I have helped you. But please lose the gult,it's a real killer
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Avatar universal
If you are tired of having people turn their backs on you then why don't you give NA a try?

They will encourage you and be very proud of any of your accomplishments.  I got my 90 day tag the other day and everyone was so happy for me.  Do not underestimate the power of being in a room full of people that know EXACTLY where you are and what you are going through.

You know you can do it, hang in there!!!!

bob
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am in a very similar situation.  I can tell you one thing I know forsure....You are self medicating on the pain killers to try and help with your depression.  I have been doing the same thing for over a year now....since I went through bad post partum.  I think the best thing to do is to go see your doctor and ask about trying some type of anti-deppresant.  I was told once by a doctor that "Welbutrin" is a good one and it is really good for people with addictions...seems to help you to not crave the other pills I guess.  
Anyhow, I'm not a doctor, but I would definitly talk to one if I was you.  Really sounds like an anti-deppresent may be able to help.  
Good luck and if you ever wanna chat some more add me as a friend and we'll talk.  

Laura
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