Headed to treatment - pretty scared

[tramuser99]

I went ahead and bit the bullet and signed up to go to a rehab facility over my "vacation".  A couple things have me worried besides knowing the onslaight of detox is near.  The first is that I only have 2.5 weeks before I have to return to my job overseas in which I work 60+ hour weeks and dont get the creature comforts of home.  I am worried that I simply wont be mentally stable enough to handle that, I worry about the depression.  I am also concerned about the financial impact, I am spending a good chunk of hard earned money to spend time away at rehab.  Since I cant attend the full 28 days in which they highly recommend, I am concerned it will just be a waste and once I leave I will still be too tempted to self medicate.

I am going to be detoxing off a mixture of Dihydrocodiene (DHC), tramadol, and codiene.  Pretty high amounts and have been addicted to one or more of these for about 3-4 years.  Its all a big secret, I cant tell anyone which makes it that much harder.

My question to those who have detoxed, is 2.5 weeks enough time to be able to return to a job and be able to function, without being in a considerable depression?  I wont have any support once I leave, but I dont want to quit my job as its my only way to make up for the money I am spending on rehab.  Any advice would be great.

[tramuser99]

Most of the withdrawals are over besides loose stools and the eff'ing ability to sleep.  The sleep is really toying with my mind because I can't nap and I am so out of it and tired all day, it brings me down.  Over the past 4 nights I have slept 0, 3. 3. 3 hours. I used to workout so I get really down because I dont want to hurt my immune system anymore by stressing it with physical activity, but walking around like a zombie is getting old.  Whats bad is the treatment center I am in gives me stuff to help me sleep but its like my tolerance is so high to anything that it just doesnt do anything.  I literally try to sleep in all these random spots around the room, on the ground, on this tiny couch, etc.  I am developing this anxiety around this room and its bed, worrying about falling asleep halfway early instead of 3am and waking up at 6.

[Cricketk92]

Congrats on the 3 days!!!  Detox S***S big time and you probably wont start feeling better for a few more days but once you get through it you will feel so much better!!  Your emotions will be up and down for awhile but keep hanging on and use the groups and meetings as much as you can while you are there!!!  You are doing awesome!!!  Keep it up!!!!

[tramuser99]

Thanks everyone, it was a really hard decision to fork up the money to pay and use all my vacation time for rehab, however I know I would of caved already if I had been on my own considering how sick I got on top of the withdrawals.  I am now on day 3 being completely off anything, having some major sleeping issues but otherwise ok so far (its still the morning).  I have been dealing with some form of withdrawals since I got here so I guess I am kinda used to just feeling crappy. Plus its not like I have to go to work or something, although its not fun sitting in group meetings pouring out your feelings when you feel so emotional and unstable already because of the withdrawals.

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

That is awesome. I'm so excited for you.

[kellygirll]

thats awesome i went to rehab too and it was that best gift i could of ever given myself I'm clean almost 5 months minus a relapse on 4 pills but I'm back on track and working hard that this sobriety thing and I'm liking it!!!

[AK47_991]

I remember when I went to treatment, It was wonderful. To be honest it was the best thing I could of done and the only thing that worked for me. I relapsed though because I thought that this time it would be different (addict brain, am I right? :)) Currently I'm trying to get sober again and am on clonidine which helps quite a bit. I'm rooting for you and hope everything goes well and peacefully for you. Good luck, it's not an easy road and a curvy one but it is a road to a better and happier life. *hugs*

[Cricketk92]

So happy to hear that you got to rehab and are doing OK!!!  Hope that you are feeling better and that you get to start attending all the meetings and groups there!  They will be really helpful!  Best of luck to you and keep letting us know how you are doing!!!!!

[spider6]

Grats to you friend. You're workin it. I hear ya on the sickness thing...I've never been sick so many times than I have the last year and 5 mos. I've been clean.  Someone here will have an awesome scientific explanation why that is.  I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that every cell in our beings are working o/t to get our mind, body, spirit back together, so our warrior cells may be a bit busy when the "bugs" come to invade. Lol...no? Keep killin it. Hugs

[tramuser99]

Just an update for anyone interested, I did in fact come to treatment and have been tapered down using methadone followed by some tramadol.  I am on day 5 off methadone and am 24 hours off last dose of tramadol.  I wasn't planning on doing the tramadol but I asked for it after feeling really crappy after getting off the methadone, however what I thought were allergies turned out to be a head/chest infection so I got to deal with that along with withdrawals.  I am hoping most of the withdrawals have passed because I still have the head/chest thing although its better.  I had to miss two days of all the meetings/etc because of being ill.  I only got sick one time in 2-3 years while taking the pills, ironic how it hits me at the same time as my withdrawal...

[gnarly_1]

Hi  well as for your detox your ok   but treatment is pushing it to do it on 30 days   it will not take the addict out of you and you will still be left with addictive thinking  this is what drives most back to use   if I where you I would bit the bullet and go for the 30 days   if not your not going to get the benefit of the groups and the consoling they offer I know money is a big thing  but your going to be no use to anybody if you go back out there.... please think this  over carefully 10k is a lot of money to waist................Gnarly

[Cricketk92]

Best of luck to you!!!  Please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are getting on!!!!  Great job on your decision!!!!

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

I wish you luck. Remember you got this.

[tramuser99]

I am curious how many people would pay $10k if they could instantly be clean…  I obviously have to still do the work but I will be forking over about $10k dollars, craziness.  Although, the same type of detox in the US runs up to $30k a month, its such a scam.  Most people that need treatment the most dont have the money because their addiction robbed it from them, so why these treatment centers can charge so much is robbery. I am fortunate enough to have a good job so I can at least make the money back, plus I was spending more than that on my addiction.  I still think its a scam, its just like how college tuitions keep raising.  A little off topic but I am a bit sour on the price of this, if I didn't have a limited timeline I wouldn't pay it.  

I will try to post daily in case people are curious what happens in rehab, I know there are a lot of different ones, and many people are too ashamed to admit to themselves they need it, but maybe my writings will bring some unbiased insight.

[tramuser99]

I talked to the center and they know I am on a shortened schedule, I think they will probably start me on a SSRI right away so maybe it eases the depression by the time I start work. I am not worried about the physical pains still being present, I am worried about the unmotivated, dead to the world feeling and trying to correspond at work as if I am not miserable. They all think I am going on this kick a.. adventure to SE Asia, they have no idea I will be emptying my wallet and hating myself for getting into this mess. I work in a place most people would hate, crappy conditions and 6 12 hour shifts, it's not the ideal place to try and lift your already depleted happiness. I just hope the mere fact of getting through the detox I have been dreading and putting off for years is enough relief to give me the strength to push on. I am sure you will hear more from me as this all is my dirty little secret.

[scaredmamaneedshelp]

Well I can't give you advice of the 2.5 week part, I am only on day 4 of detox myself. However my physical symptoms of detox are starting to ease up. I so happy that you decided to go to rehab, I remember when you were posting asking advice on what you should do. I think if you have enough will power, and the right mind set you will be okay to go back to work in two weeks. Just tell yourself that if you use, you will be wasting thousands of dollars. Also when you are in rehab ask your doctor about advice for not being able to do the full 28 days and returning to work. I wish you the best of luck. I know you can do this