Aa
How did you finally decide to quit??
ugh, as I sit here trying to get through my first 24 or so hours, knowing the worst is yet to come. I'm trying everything to think of why this is a good thing when my body and mind (GAWD, IT WON'T SHUT UP!!) tells me that I'm such a better person when I'm on my pain pills. Just was curious what your source/determination to finally be done was...
I am pushing closer to 60 and Death was Knocking on my door! I wanted to add a few more years of living, not dieing..lol
I had been wanting to quit for some time. Our prescription was getting harder and harder to fill because of all the regulations. Until finally the pharmacy wouldnt fill it anymore. I was tired of living my life prescription to prescription and everything in between just being a filler. I wasnt really living or enjoying things. I made a choice on December 18th to go to rehab, left work and admitted myself that night. Best choice I ever made as I sit here 31 days sober off of painkillers and suboxone. I havent had a single thing but vitamins put into my body and that feels amazing.
LOVE THIS!!! So True Msdelight
thank you for your posts. you are all amazing, strong people that deserve the best. you all are truly an inspiration.
my daughter
When my wife caught on that I had found the stash of pills that she doled out-the oxycodone was for back pain-the shame of it all, and the futility was too much. I had years in AA and booze was no longer an issue. Had lived through a terrible benzo withdrawal and now at 60 years old was still in the same cesspool.
My wife asked me if I wanted to try to continue the oxy as prescribed. I told her in all honesty that would not work after gobbling them down like candy for a week, my addict side would never accept that.
I said I was going tp be pretty sick for awhile, and asked her to accept me through another recovery. It was a lot to ask, she has endured my addictive side for years.
I think not wanting to go through all the crazyness and sickness over and over again pushed me towards a100% committment.
I don't do "what if"s anymore, or dwell too much on a crummy past or a future day not yet here.
I just work on "today," with the normal ups and downs that come with being human. I seem to be able to respond a lot better now to life's challenges with a clear head.
I like this question, "How did you finally decide to quit?" you asked, because I ask this of myself from time to time. I have good solid reasons NOW, but I think THEN part of the decision was a power or truth outside of my thinking at the moment I finally threw in the towel. I knew somehow substances would always win if I went into the ring with them. I lose every time when I think "I" have control.
So I require lots of help. My family, friends, MH folks, program people, spiritual people. Truly strength in numbers.
Stii just one day at a time (way oversaid) and way true.
My wife asked me if I wanted to try to continue the oxy as prescribed. I told her in all honesty that would not work after gobbling them down like candy for a week, my addict side would never accept that.
I said I was going tp be pretty sick for awhile, and asked her to accept me through another recovery. It was a lot to ask, she has endured my addictive side for years.
I think not wanting to go through all the crazyness and sickness over and over again pushed me towards a100% committment.
I don't do "what if"s anymore, or dwell too much on a crummy past or a future day not yet here.
I just work on "today," with the normal ups and downs that come with being human. I seem to be able to respond a lot better now to life's challenges with a clear head.
I like this question, "How did you finally decide to quit?" you asked, because I ask this of myself from time to time. I have good solid reasons NOW, but I think THEN part of the decision was a power or truth outside of my thinking at the moment I finally threw in the towel. I knew somehow substances would always win if I went into the ring with them. I lose every time when I think "I" have control.
So I require lots of help. My family, friends, MH folks, program people, spiritual people. Truly strength in numbers.
Stii just one day at a time (way oversaid) and way true.
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