Aa
I can see clearly now ...the rain is gone!
I may not be able to see all obstacles in my way but I am well on my way to facing them! Life is what wr make of it...and I promise you if you kick your habit and stay clean you have achieved something that makes you a stronger, wiser, more understanding person than your fellow man. To me , my struggle is a game I play with myself. Each day I say I just won another day. There is no looking back for me....failure is absolutely not an option.....failure is an opiate!
Hey bama! And thanks....I just wanna say in the nicest way possible that I am soooo happy you got soooo sick after taking those! your body and mind doesn't want that sh*t anymore and thats the perfect way to tell you. Now forget the weekend and begin a sober week with a little more understanding about yourself!
Hi mike...love your attitude. Yes your right failure is not an.option. But the disease lurks inside our heads forever...ok im gonna hijack your thread..i fell.down Saturday... Over 70 days clean. I was cleaning out my desk and lo and behold i found two 40s. I.took them. I got so so so sick...i was showing up..sweating..high as a kite in a very bad way :-(. thought i was gonna od..double.vision etc. Rode the 12 hr ride of h.e.l.l. Came home and got busted by my husband. And went to a meeting..i was embarrassed and ashamed. But i know me. When i quit coke i did the same thing..when i stopped drinking i did the same thing..it reaffirms i want to be chemical free. So yes failure is not an option...im.proud of you. So proud
To me relapse is death! I know that's hardcore to say and when someone relapses they have to start over and they Have all this great support but to me....me....this guy right here....I love life...never wanna die but I have convinced myself that even one pill is a death sentence to me. It helps me tremendously! I am the type o guy that doesnt like to do things for nothing. And these past 16 days have been me doing something for something. And I NEVER will subject myself to this again! It doesn't mean that just cuz I say that its not a possibility but because I feel it more than any false high this drug has given me ...it's that feeling deep in my soul that speaks volumes! I hate that I have to now work on something that wa never an issue before but it MUST be done! So I shall do! Love all your responses....they help so so much!
;) I'm with u Mike going to my first meeting tomorrow! I don't EVER want to go through this again! And I agree PURE HELL! Check back with u in a week ;)
Hey mike thanks for all the help and suport your posts are very helpfull I read them all keep it up LOL
I definately don't want to ever go through something like this again but I can never forget that it's a real possibility and that's what aftercare has to be about....understanding the why's and avoiding and/or dealing with trigger situations.
Ur attitude is awesome.Sounds like u r VERY determined.Just want2add2what gnarly said about aftercare.Most people assume NA/AA r the only forms of aftercare available+if it works4u great but there r a lot more options if its not(I live n a VERY small town,the only meetings were almost an hour away).Went twice&it wasnt4me so I found that seeing an addiction specialist+group meetings,medhelp friends&ans my hubby r MY perfect aftercare program.U have2retrain ur brain&w/o the help of professionals,a real&constant support group u may get through a month,maybe even many months doing it on ur own BUT 99%of the time u WILL relapse.U have the great option of NA but if thats not a fit4u remember there r tons of options.Do some research,check out meetings,therapy or any other form of support.This is a lifelong battle&we need help from others.I hope u look n2some sort of aftercare
Good...my 2 virtual sponsors now! Crazy that I know so much about addiction and treatments:therapies,etc but have never done this. Haven't even had friends go this route. I am so green in this process but I feel so well informed at the same time . Can't imagine what made me do this knowing all I know about it. I will find out eventually I am sure. The one thing (today) that makes me feel disgusted with myself and prohibits me from even thinkin about using is these past 16 days of hell! Was is for nothing? No way! I am not into torturing myself at all and that is exactly what this has been!
I'll be your accountable partner cause I'm not going anywhere! Mikeinfrance I'll remind u!! :)
WIll do Mike just want to see you make it out of this mess it a possess first you detox then you treat the disease ....ok not another word for a week but im relentless when someone wants me to remind them of something have a great day Mike .........Gnarly
It's crazy to know exactly what I need to do and not have any plans to do it. I know aftercare has to be a priority but I haven't prioritized it yet. My French is not so good. So I expect to seek out an english speaking therapist and go that route at first. Remind me of this a week from now....just to keep me honest here.
That was supposed to say long time now! Dam autocorrect LOL
I love that quote u just stated! And not to hijack your post but gnarly I've been lurking this forum for a looking time. I would say maybe even couple years and your name is one of the ones that still stick out to me. I don't ever wanna come back to this forum again for probably The 30th time in Staying clean. As much as I don't want to I AM gonna go to aftercare. I'm dreading it BC I'm shy and I don't know what to expect And scared I will see someone I know but I know it is essential in my recovery .. I had already planned it but by reading this post confirmed it for me. I may ho Tom!
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HI Mike well I always say attitude is everything and you have done great with yours please trust me on what im about to say this forum is not enough for aftercare its a great help but you really need to seak out a N/A meeting or A/A meeting and strat fixing what is broke ,.....the very way you think and reason has to change to overcome this we see several hundred people go threw here a month ive been on this forum for over 2 yrs the ones that truly make it are the ones that get aftercare ....strong will will last a wile but its not a fix you need to address the issues that cause us to use in the first place so get pro active and get involved with some form of aftercare good luck and God bless.......Gnarly
Thanks lost....such a great support network here!
congrats!! Your attitude and sense of humor have helped me through the rough patches. Thanks!
Hi and thanks gg....! It's so true though...a bad attitude will bring nothing but misery to us. I remember a 'philosophy' written on the wall in my highschool that said "when things go wrong as they sometimes will...when the road your trudging seems all uphill .... When funds are low and debts are high ... When you want to smile but you have to sigh...where care is pressing you down a bit...rest if you must but Never Quit!
I am soooo Happy your feeling better and what a great attitude
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