I can't do this

[Avalancheblanche]

This is my worst night. ( I cant spell, sorry.)  I want to know why this happens to us.  Why?  Someone needs to tell me that it is going to be ok.  I feel like I can't do this.  

[LQQKThrewU]

I care very much and I am glad I do. I know I will get better, it will just take time. The dang clock. I hate it. I am laying in bed sweating and freezing with my laptop. Sorry if I am not making much sense. I just feel real bad right now,but  I am so proud of you avalanche and right now YOU are my inspiration YOU have made it this far. You are so very strong and I admire that. I just wish I could relieve your pain right now. I don't think I  would even notice the additional pain lol. agghhhh. Tomorrow, lets think good thoughts for then. I will be reading the boards probably all night,will try to post when I can. Is it possible that even your aurora hurts?shadow? Hugs hun

[Avalancheblanche]

Why is it that the most beautiful people get cancer and addiction?  I won't go back. I have a strong will.....ask my husband!  It is just so very painful tonight. Now that I am kind of clear, I am so missing my sister.  I just miss her so much.  I want to fix my mom.  I can't.  I can do a lot of things!  But I can't fix any of this right now.  It doesn't seem like life should be this hard

[elefrog42]

I just wrote back to your PM, but YOU totally can do this!  Don't go back now...I made that mistake too many times...you know, once you forget about how crappy the withdrawal was, you think "well, I could take just one more"  BUT DON'T!!!!  Please take it from me, I did that over and over again and it was terrible.  I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.  But you have to stay strong!  If it's any consolation, my (very young) grandmother has lung cancer thats metastasized, and the doctors told her 7 years ago she wouldn't make it one year.  She still around and still fighting the disease (and living at home AND taking care of herself, so there!).  So don't focus on the bad things that might happen.....I will be sending you and your mother good vibes and hugs.  

[mtrying]

You have already done so great with this!!  Six days!!!!!   Think back six months, did you think you could go six days without the pills?  
It sucks feeling helpless, especially when a loved one is sick and we can't change it.  The best thing you can do for yourself, and your family right now is try to hang in there.  I know you can do it.

[lostsoul2]

I don't know your story, but if you are referring to the drug usage as a healthy place, rethink that.  It might be happy.  It might feel alive.  But even if you are taking whatever for real pain, it's never healthy.  Damage is done to your body.  If you are in real pain and really NEED the drug for relief, then I do sympathize.  But if you are missing it because of w/d and w/d alone and you don't need it, keep going.  3 days ago I ran out of my DOC and thought Iwould rather die than face a day without it.  I'm 3 days clean and really don't feel that bad.  I was taking between 100-150 mg a day of hydro.  I don't know if that is any consolation, but I did it and I hope to God I never look back.  We are all here for you and we all have had those hopeless feelings.  They will pass.  

[Avalancheblanche]

How amazing that you are going thru this and still being so caring.  Thank you.  I hope you will feel better.  Hugs to you too.