Is Anything Authentic If You're High?

[Christeven]

Hi.

I am wondering about this:  when an addict is high - and s/he usually ALWAYS is, is there any realness, truth, depth, meaning, and authenticity in his or her words and life?

In other words, isn't everything just a lie, because it's tainted by substances?

Is anything my bf says or does real?  How so if medicated?

Your responses will help me decide whether I should stay - or maybe leave him.
Please don't suggest counseling as it's not affordable.

Thanks,
Christeven.

[ClaudiaKishi]

BTW, try Narcotics Anonymous..Its free counseling.

[ClaudiaKishi]

Lol...Classic enabler.

How many exactly is he taking? If its more than prescribed and he keeps running out early, then its not survival, its prescription abuse. Don't be so naive..You will end up hating yourself.

[sway1]

when an addict speaks, there is a motive. we won't say anything that would put distance between us and using. we say things that will protect our habit. we don't even realize we do it, at least not at first. always a motive. hope this helps. sway

[my_mayberry]

for me, i'm still me even when i'm high. i don't know what i seem like to others, but my sober mind and my 'high' mind are the same....the difference being i feel good high and when i'm not high, i want to be.

this sounds selfish, but it's addiction. different drugs do change behavior, thats certain...so it all really depends. some really do kill emotions. i don't think anyone actually looses who they are though...i think thats still there. if  a person says they love you, for example, while they're high........i think they can mean it as much as they do when they're sober. i know i do. the problem is that they will do and say anything to keep their supply of drugs. so yes, some things are sincere.....but the urge for the drug will also make them do or say anything to keep it......just like you would for food or air. but things like love and emotions i think remain unchanged whether high or not. if someone you love dies and you get high to cure the pain...you're still in pain while you're high, it's just that you've forced a euphoria to conteract the pain. it never goes away and the person usually is still very much aware of it. i am, anyway. same goes for relationships...and when someone says they WANT to get clean, they usually mean that to....but its very hard. like giving up air but not dying.

[Ella789]

Even if he is an addict, he still feels and reacts to his surroundings.  He does have feelings just like you but he may be more self-absorbed.    If you are not an addict, then it is hard for you to understand.  Addition is a demon,  it can ruin lives, but the addict still knows what he is doing,  it is just such a strong pull to use.  Rock bottom usually turns some around to see that they must change.  It is true that being clean makes us realize how were,  and proud that we don't need to use drugs anymore.  It is a decision that we must make for ourselves, nobody else, can do this for us.  He has to want to quit more than he wants to use.We are well aware of what we do, we just had our addiction to tell us that we needed it more.  Sorry, he will have to want to quit before he gives it up for good.  Addiction is a sad way to live.   My pain levels were actualy much less after quitting, that sounds nuts I know, but for some reason alot of others on here have said the same thing.  I wish you well and your bf a quick realization that he is better off not useing.

Ella

[HenryS354]

Thats a tough call...

I know my emotions and feelings have changed drastically since I have gotten clean. While I loved and still love my other half, there are things that are different now.  But I also know that while I was on the meds I would say and do whatever I needed to do to not lose anything from my life.

Addiction causes codependance a lot of times. I mean after all we ARE codependant on the drugs arent we?  I spent 7 years in a relationship, I thought I NEEDED him, and told myself that it was love.  Once I became ok with the possibility of being alone and that I didnt NEED anyone, It made me and my relationships after that stronger.  

Its not that nothing is authentic, addiction just has us think of things in different realms.

As for should you leave him or not, only you can decide that!!!

I am in a relationship where my other half does not use and never has. I had been on suboxone for years.  When I decided that I wanted to come off the subs, it was a joint effort. His biggest concern was "Are you going to still be the same person?"  OF COURSE NOT! lol

It will be a challenge, but you will know when and if its time to leave!  

Henry

[avisg]

What pain does he have? How long has he had it ? What is he on .does he run out of pill early
I would have said any thing when i was using I would have told you everything you wanted to hear so I could continue my use and not lose the people I love . I think if you are having doubts I think you are already realizing he is being dishonest .How long have you two been together.

[jayeye]

have you talked to him about it does he want to stop?  are you willing to support him if he does and be there for him?

in the end that would only make you realationship stronger

[Christeven]

Thks for your insights.  Hmmmm  
He actually is extremely sweet, very loving to me and others, bright, etc.
The thing is his needs are always first. But i don't want to be selfish myself just cause he has this.  He takes them for pain.  Needs them. That's not selfish it's survival.

I do so love him.

Will think.

Thks
C

[AZKathy]

I'm in my 35th day of ct withdrawals from oxycontin & percocet, and from what I've heard from other people, I'm a completely different person now that I'm clean.

I wasn't even aware of that until others told me, but it seems that I was living in a la la land before.

Hope that helps some.

[kittycat1433]

G etrid of the frend if he/she are on drug's you don't needto be around them ad if you are using then even more of a reason to stay away.And when i was high yes almost everything that came out of mymouth was a lie of some kind you are not yourself when you are high!!!

[jayeye]

hi im an addicted....thats a though question to answer.......as so many of my feelings arent real right now......but a lot of them are....when i say i love someone or something at the time i mean it....but when my drug is there all the love in the world dosent matter its the most important thing to me

i know that doesnt help but that just shows you were his head is at.

the real question is if hes willing to stop?  does he know he has a problem?  

[GA Guy]

An addicts words are rooted in his/her self absorbed world. They will say or do anything that will enable them to keep the high going. The best counseling for any co-dependent is Alanon or Narcanon. It's free, so money is no object. Only believe what an addict does...not says.