Aa
Day 6... Extreme Depression....
Please nobody get mad. I had to start a new one because the last one is so very long and somebody told me to start a new one. This is day 6... I am distraught.. extremely depressed.. So, unlike myself. I don't care about anything or anyone... I am so confused. I just can't understand this way I am. I am even too sad to cry... its like beyond that even. Maybe I guess I can cry.. but, this is very bad.. I have to say... this really is very bad. No more pain.. only in my head.. I am so extremely sad.. God wouldn't be happy at all if I killed myself... I wouldn't do that.. I would go back to taking the pills before I would off myself.. anyway, I am too much of a scaredy cat to be killing myself.. jumping out the window , cut my wrists.. strange thoughts go through my mind. my face stays just like nothing.. my emotions are all gone except extreme sadness.. Day 6 may be possibly my worse day, I guess I hope.. have to get through this day... I can only pray for this to go away.. What is wrong with me??? I try to trick myself to be happy, its not happening.. I try to make a pretend smile.. I can't even do that... I seem to be emotionless.. except sad.. the only emotion left....
Yep Suzz, I feel the same way!!!..its day 4 for me...hang tight, u will be back.2 normal soon!!!...hugs to u sweetie! XO :)
Thank you Barb
Yes feeling weak is normal. I felt like I was walking through mud while carrying weights.
You'll start turning the corner soon!! Great job so far!!
You'll start turning the corner soon!! Great job so far!!
Hi Terri... I am feeling better than yesterday. I'm still weak.. maybe thats just another side effect, I don't know.. But, I am much better than yesterday. Thank You..
You are right after all!! And, today is Day 7!! One week now! : O ) Thank You Kyle...
Oh I remember having the "will I ever be happy again" and, also, the "will I ever feel 'normal' again?" What your experiencing is very normal and it stinks. BUT, the good news is that you WILL be happy again, and it won't be much longer! Just keep working to the 14 day and 30 day marks and you'll see a big difference at each one! Believe it or not, but you'll find that your much more happier without the pills (or when you were on pills). Just give it time and try to be patient...we've all been where you are.
BTW how are u feeling 2day Suzz!?...
Me 2 Kyle, I LOOOVE that!!!...& needed 2 hear it on this day 4!!!..never heard that 1 b4 & I know it wasn't intended 4 me either, but I'll take it!!...haha!
thanks, Kyle,
I know this wasn't intended for me but I needed that.
:o}
I know this wasn't intended for me but I needed that.
:o}
Kyle - Never heard that one but love it!
I'm off to get some sleep; thought I'd leave you with this (I'm not a fan of all the "sayings" that are posted everywhere on the net, but this reminded me of you)
...Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine.
K
...Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine.
K
Kyle has a good point about the rollercoaster ride of emotions. Actually days 1-5 were "easier" for me than the next few days, because when I hurt really bad physically all I could focus on was trying to get past the nausea, deal with the sweats, the chills, the headaches, and running to the bathroom.
When that let up, then the blue, low hit me full force. I had to not trust anything I thought other than hang on to "no more pills", the reason for the whole business.
I read and read the cheery posts here and promised myself I wanted what they had. After awhile I gave up on worrying about it, because at my house I had a landslide of personal, financial, and other problems to solve. Really cut my "poor me" "the world stinks" time short.
Getting out of the house is good! Whatever the reason. I would drive 3 miles to a convenience store for a pack of gum I didn't need. Then go to the grocery store for some stuff to cook some wild supper for my wife (who was the only one working at the time.)
Exercise is good, if you can. Healthy diet. I played computer games for hours.
So...it does get better, the sun will shine again for you!!!
Just hang in there!
When that let up, then the blue, low hit me full force. I had to not trust anything I thought other than hang on to "no more pills", the reason for the whole business.
I read and read the cheery posts here and promised myself I wanted what they had. After awhile I gave up on worrying about it, because at my house I had a landslide of personal, financial, and other problems to solve. Really cut my "poor me" "the world stinks" time short.
Getting out of the house is good! Whatever the reason. I would drive 3 miles to a convenience store for a pack of gum I didn't need. Then go to the grocery store for some stuff to cook some wild supper for my wife (who was the only one working at the time.)
Exercise is good, if you can. Healthy diet. I played computer games for hours.
So...it does get better, the sun will shine again for you!!!
Just hang in there!
Kyles dead on! Very true..
This is the part of the recovery I call the detox roller coaster. You will go up and down emotionally for the next few weeks, or longer. So be warned. I wasn't ready for it. I'd have a wonderful day, patting myself on the back for doing such an amazing job at beating the demon, then the next day wham - the demon hits me in the gut and I'm lower than low.
And watch out for the drama - at this stage every emotion is overblown. So don't dwell in your own negative thoughts. It's all just so much drama. Tomorrow may be better. No matter - buckle up and hang on.
K
And watch out for the drama - at this stage every emotion is overblown. So don't dwell in your own negative thoughts. It's all just so much drama. Tomorrow may be better. No matter - buckle up and hang on.
K
At this point, can you get to some Meetings?..ANY AA/NA..I did this for my first 30 all day and night..Then I hit a no-interest stage, no-motivation and very weak..I still kept pushing those meetings..You really need to get out of your head and go listen to others that are going or been through what you are now and face to face.
Just take a deep Breath and do what we suggest above..You really need to just except things as they come..Learn to Trust the Process. There is nothing wrong with you but your Brain trying to re-adjust from the removal of these Stims..Hang tight..YOU will see the Light.
Bless
Just take a deep Breath and do what we suggest above..You really need to just except things as they come..Learn to Trust the Process. There is nothing wrong with you but your Brain trying to re-adjust from the removal of these Stims..Hang tight..YOU will see the Light.
Bless
Girl, I totally understand what you're going thru. Day 5 was my worst day. When I read ur post. I felt like I was reading " my day 5" it gets better. You will smile again. U will laugh again. I usually don't make promises but, I promise you that you will smile again. Your in my prayers. Kisses!
First of all...MAJOR congrats on 6 days clean!!
Second, I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt...or you misunderstood the meaning of posting multiple threads. At the time the suggestion was made to stick with posting on one thread...you had 4 of them all going at the same time and were posting on all of them within minutes of each other.
That was confusing to many of us and quite a few of us commented on that, although nobody explained in the detail I did...(that's just me...trying to help you) We didn't know which thread to post our support for you. It's so much easier to follow your story and encourage you as you make progress if we can stay in one place until the comments get too long. It's perfectly fine to post a new thread each day if you want. And much easier for all those following you if you post on the same thread each day, too.
So again, sorry if you misunderstood my intentions....just know I meant no harm...didn't want to discourage you from posting and receiving help in ANY way....no one was "mad" at you.
The depression and apathy you are feeling are a very real part of getting off opiates. Particularly if the amount of time we have been on them is long...it will take our brains, bodies, nervous systems, etc. more than just a week to re-regulate. Please hang on.....no two days are usually the same as we recover....you are doing really well....even though you are down and blue.
Some people choose to write a "goodbye letter" to their pills.....it somehow helps us to grieve the old and bring in the new.
Keep pushin....you're making LOTS of progress even tho you don't feel like it on Day 6.
Second, I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt...or you misunderstood the meaning of posting multiple threads. At the time the suggestion was made to stick with posting on one thread...you had 4 of them all going at the same time and were posting on all of them within minutes of each other.
That was confusing to many of us and quite a few of us commented on that, although nobody explained in the detail I did...(that's just me...trying to help you) We didn't know which thread to post our support for you. It's so much easier to follow your story and encourage you as you make progress if we can stay in one place until the comments get too long. It's perfectly fine to post a new thread each day if you want. And much easier for all those following you if you post on the same thread each day, too.
So again, sorry if you misunderstood my intentions....just know I meant no harm...didn't want to discourage you from posting and receiving help in ANY way....no one was "mad" at you.
The depression and apathy you are feeling are a very real part of getting off opiates. Particularly if the amount of time we have been on them is long...it will take our brains, bodies, nervous systems, etc. more than just a week to re-regulate. Please hang on.....no two days are usually the same as we recover....you are doing really well....even though you are down and blue.
Some people choose to write a "goodbye letter" to their pills.....it somehow helps us to grieve the old and bring in the new.
Keep pushin....you're making LOTS of progress even tho you don't feel like it on Day 6.
The very last thing you need to be doing right now is ruminating on how bad the condition of the country/world is...that's only going to make you feel worse. NOT the time for those kinds of thoughts my dear! Like others have said, this is NORMAL. Your brain has had artificial "happiness" for so long and it takes some time for the body to start producing those chemicals again on its own.
Take the advice given and start pushing yourself to get some exercise, whatever you can tolerate, and get your mind on other things, get distracted. You have to be patient, this will all pass, it takes more than a few days to normalize after decades of opiate intake.
You need to get out of your head a bit. You've been in crisis/panic mode, hyper focused on everything, which is tough NOT to be, but you need to make a concerted effort to help yourself along a little more. You've done great..listen to these folks, they've lived it and won't steer you wrong!
Take the advice given and start pushing yourself to get some exercise, whatever you can tolerate, and get your mind on other things, get distracted. You have to be patient, this will all pass, it takes more than a few days to normalize after decades of opiate intake.
You need to get out of your head a bit. You've been in crisis/panic mode, hyper focused on everything, which is tough NOT to be, but you need to make a concerted effort to help yourself along a little more. You've done great..listen to these folks, they've lived it and won't steer you wrong!
Finally something that made me laugh..the thought that tomorrow is day 7 and I can't even care about that..Now I am very sure that a week ago I would have been so very happy that it would be day 7 .. now, it just doesn't seem to matter in the least.. who cares what day is what day.. they are only days after all.. what does anything matter...I guess our Govt is shut down.. that does kind of seem weird to me... What is becoming of our country? Just imagine what the other countries are thinking about us... but, they don't care.. not really... because.. after all... what does it matter... Maybe its does matter and I just can't figure it out somehow... thats strange.. I sound very weird.. I'm getting out of here...this is totally creeping me out...
I know You have trouble with physical stuff but now is the time to start pushing yourself to get out and do things and maybe hit a swimming pool for some low impact exercise. This will help a ton with the attitude until your natural endorphins begin to kick back in. You are now in the business of getting through the day and repeating that tomorrow. It will get better if you don't go back . I promise you that
Brighter days are ahead? Really? Are they? That just doesn't seem possible to me... Did you guys go through a staring faze? What the neck is that? Just stare... at nothing.. nothing at all.. into space.. Where am I .... I think its possible I may have lost myself somewhere between day 5 and day 6.. Susie where are you.. you hooo... I guess I'm gone away.. maybe I can be back tomorrow.. I feel tired.. my leg has gone numb.. maybe I've sat here too long, who knows. I can't move.. lol.. thats funny, i guess.. maybe I should move my leg to a different position... Oh well.. whatever.. I don't want to care about anything I guess.. everything is whatever..
Thank you Ricart.. that is good news.. I guess... How very sad everythign really is, when you think about it.. The entire world. so much bad things happening... Kids out of college can't get jobs.. turning to drugs.. its very sad, if you can get to care about anybody I guess... I feel so weird.. my emotions are wacked.... okay, now this is normal for this stage... I usually care about everything and everybody... I am numb... but, this will pass, and someday, hopefully sooner than later, I will start to care about the real issues again.. surely I can't stay numb and depressed only emotions to have.. I really did have a lot of good emotions before.. I realize that now... now that there is nothing but the sadness .. maybe I should try to find a comedy on the tv.. I don't feel like watching tv.. the news seems regular.. cops chasing a motorcycle for hours on end.. so stupid to me.. but, that always did seem stupid to me anyway. Not worth watching. I wonder why they are not talking about the govt shutdown.. How ridiculous we must look to the other countries I guess... but who cares anyway right! LOL.. Day 6 is an extremely strange day to me.. so much sadness and thought goes into day 6 I guess.. Reevaluate the whole situation.. Were I still taking the pills what would I be then.. okay, I"ve been through weeks of the awful tapering..that wasn't fun.. then the quitting.. that was , when. Sept 26.. So, this should be day 6 I guess... Oh well.. whatever...
I agree with ricart. This is part of the detoxing and you'll get through it. It won't last. You're doing really great. You were on the pills a very long time. Tomorrow is Day 7 ... a whole week! I'm glad you got some good sleep. I hope tomorrow you'll feel a little better.
Thank you Rosy.. I don't know what pms are.. I feel tired even with all that sleep I got. I feel sad sad... I have no emotions... its like nothing matters anymore.. I would like to have emotions... I usually care about everything and everybody. I feel like just staring.. staring...at nothing.. Day 6 I had no clue about day 6. I wish I would have never taken those pills...I do think I feel sad for the homeless people when i THINK of them being alone and lost and no place to go. I am usually so concerned with the homeless..Appears our govt has shut down.. how strange that seems to me. but, I don't really care to be honest. Who cares... Shut down the whole world.. what difference does it make really... My head is tired.. I don't want to think about anything... i don't care about anything...nothing really matters.. Oh, that reminds me of a song! Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters to me.... Remember that song... Queen... He died.. death..he had such a beautiful voice... so very beautiful..such a shame.. i guess..
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