Just sick of this like you are...

[motherprayforme]

I have spent several hours over the last 6 months reading about everyone on this site and found a million people just like me.  So instead of watching I thought I would say something.  I am so sick of being a slave to pain killers.  The longer this goes on and the many times that I have quit only to return have taught me that each time gets harder than the last.

Now here I am again struggling to get away.  I'm trying to taper down for fear of the terrible WD.  Please pray for me this next week as I try to walk away again and I promise to pray for each and everyone of you.

I'll be checking in over the next week.  My plan is to taper down as best as I can for the next two days and then flush my stash minus 5 - 10 pills.  And then stretch them out to ease the WD.  I so sick of this.  

[Shelwoy]

It is really important for you to realize doing this on your own has a dramatic disadvantage. I am not a avid AA/NA person, but I do feel some assistance medically and emotionally will be of great value to you.
Tapers need to be long and supervised. It is virtually impossible to trust yourself to do the right thing because all your brain wants is to not be experiencing pain,so you will do what you have to do to avoid it.It is not a weakness of self, it is merely the brain being distorted by the drug- so I really encourage you to work with someone who has experience with quitting successfully.

[BenHawk]

Hey...Don't get down about that. How long did you go between doses? And, you're at 18 hours now? That's awesome! Keep it up!
You've won a big battle by spacing out your doses!
You can't win the war over a weekend!
It doesn't happen over night!
Don't beat yourself up...You're on the right track!
Keep on it.
You did a lot of work over the weekend...You're not back at square one.
The drugs and your body are trying to tell you that. That's what the drugs do.
But, you're closer now than you were 4 days ago.
Build on that.
You can only do so much. Again, don't beat yourself up!

[motherprayforme]

Well the weekend did not work out like I thought it would.  Having them around when you start feeling really bad it just too much temptation.  Knowing you can end the suffering by just taking a handful of little pills is too much to try and fight with.

It's obviously going to have to be cold turkey which is really going to suck.  It's been 18 hours since my last dose.  I'm averaging 10 - 15 oxycodones per day.

I'm really nervous about this.

[Captnj]

I have been clean for over 15 years. Check out Narcotics Anonymous. It works.
    http://www.na.org

  Jerry

[onecoolchick99]

just wanna say good luck, it can be done and reaching ur goal will feel awesome, I cant wait to feel free from this addiction. I have a long road ahead but its nice to know there is a site like this  where people can support each other.

[jollyman069]

Tapering the way you have the w/d's shouldn't be real horrible i quit moraphine and percs cold turkey and they were bad also i am on dialysis so it was harder on me then most but your almost there so no turning back now..remember lots of hot baths for body aches and look at the health pages on here and they have suggestions to help you .But you should be in good shape the way you tapered plus i admire you for doing thet i never would have had the will power that you had ...says alot about you