Just sick of this like you are...

[motherprayforme]

I have spent several hours over the last 6 months reading about everyone on this site and found a million people just like me.  So instead of watching I thought I would say something.  I am so sick of being a slave to pain killers.  The longer this goes on and the many times that I have quit only to return have taught me that each time gets harder than the last.

Now here I am again struggling to get away.  I'm trying to taper down for fear of the terrible WD.  Please pray for me this next week as I try to walk away again and I promise to pray for each and everyone of you.

I'll be checking in over the next week.  My plan is to taper down as best as I can for the next two days and then flush my stash minus 5 - 10 pills.  And then stretch them out to ease the WD.  I so sick of this.  

[BenHawk]

Hang in there. That's what I'm doing now. I'm at the tail end of a taper. I've done it all alone mostly. Until last week when I told my girlfriend. That has helped take a tremendous burden off my shoulders. I was beating myself up over and over and over. And felt so inferior. Well, she supports me 100%. I try to tell her daily how I'm doing, and I always feel better afterward.
About a month ago, I was at 15 norco (10/325 hydro) per day. Now, I'm down to 1/2 norco per 14 hours. I haven't slipped once. I haven't struggled with cravings as much as I have the mental rollercoaster. And, physically, I've been pretty fine. I tapered my dose every 4 days. I would add an hour between doses. Then, I cut down from whole pills to half pills to get used to smaller doses.

Anyone have experience with this?
I don't know if I really want the answer...But, I need it...
;-)
I'm assuming that I'll have some physical wds when I finally stop, but by tapering like this, did I probably flatten out my mental rollercoaster a bit.
I'm hoping so. But, I want to be prepared too.
This is the first time I've ever really been able to be open with someone (my gf). And, it's helped by being able to tell her what I'm feeling and why.

And, motherprayforme, I'm just like you. I've been on and off for 5 years. Longest I've been off is about a month and a half. But, I've never felt more determined than now.

Take a listen to this song by SIXX AM...It's called Accidents Can Happen.
I'm assuming most of you know who Motley Crue is? Well, their bassist/brains Nikki Sixx has a pretty incredible story. Read THE HEROIN DIARIES. Well, he made a soundtrack to the book with a new band called SIXX AM. It's all about his being ****** up, getting clean, and relapsing...He's been clean for a long time now!
Well, the song hits pretty close to home...
Check the youtube link...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nan4Kdtz-9w

It's all about the struggle to get clean. Don't beat yourself up for slipping. That's all part of it. We all slip. But, that doesn't mean we're back to square one. Don't let the drugs tell you that. Don't let yourself tell you that. You've worked so hard, and slipping doesn't erase that work. It's still there. Build on it.
Some other great tracks to check out are TOMORROW, PRAY FOR ME, & LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

God bless...
Hope that hits you like it did me...
;-)

[Beenerkitty]

you can do this. im now day 25 off percs and vicodin. the first 5 days are the hardest physically-as you know and then the mental sets in. im still struggling with that now. this forum has been a huge support. stay on here and keep posting. i also found it helpful to keep up a tracker. i look forward to filling it out each day and also journal. i wish you all the best. im here if you need any support. i also tapered and then went cold turkey cuz it seemed to drag out the withdrawals-just something to consider maybe. im praying for you.
bkitty

[motherprayforme]

Well its a new day otherwise known as day 1.  It would be great to not take one today and that is my goal.  Hopefully the body aches etc won't push me to hard towards my last few otherwise its cold turkey.

Praying for all of you and I know you are for me as well.

Peace

[Totsie59]

If not for this forum I would have never made it..Stick around..there are some great people here...

[worried878]

cool!  so u r gonna stick around!  great cos the forum needs more old timers..many come here, seek the help they need..never to be heard from again..and that is cool too..that is what the forum is for..but sticking around to help others with the experience and wisdom u have to offer will help u and also help tons of people who need the help so desperately... keeps reasons to stay clean in ur head/fresh/when u continue posting after detox...glad u r gonna join us mother (:

[motherprayforme]

I never thought it would help so much to talk with all of you but it really makes me feel like I am no longer in the shadows.  I'll keep posting and let you know what I am up to but as for now I'm going to sleep.  Be safe everyone and I promise to help back to others once I get through this.

Thanks so much for your thoughts it really does help.