Life

[Dane74]

Hi all, I am pulling myself up from my slump.  After my relapse, i became very depressed and anxious to say the least.  I am doing all the nessary things i need to do to take control over the situation.  I went to my primary care dr, confessed to him about my love affair for the pills told him about my relapse and wow, the saying goes"the truth shall set you free"!!  Well i felt better getting that off my chest, and as a result i was put on an anti depressant, i am not liking this idea but i do believe its necessary.  So, hopefully in 2 weeks i will notice some improvement.  I am currently on day 8 clean now, i would have been around 80, but its time to forget that mark and just work from day 8.  I cannot begin to stress the importance of AFTERCARE, i found an addiction therapist, she is a blessing, and i see her once a week.  Not going to lie, after one hour in that session, i walk out of there drained.  We all use or used for a reason, basically to escape reality, well, now i am in the learning stages of coping.  The only way  i know how to cope is to take a pill so i really look forward to embracing life and see what its all about clean and sober.  YES, its scary, but its a fact of life.  

[LeaAnn807]

LMAO..........not to hijack the thread, but how is the temp down there, Vicki?  I mean, I'm up in the 5 ft 6 in altitude!!! : )

Girls weekend? Wouldn't that be SO much fun??  OMG!

[vicki595]

Okay...great...you're on the bus,too!  It's good because you know I have trouble reaching the pedals!!!

I'm thinking this: It's time for a "girl's weekend" !!!    SARA???

[LeaAnn807]

I wanna go too!  : )

Get on with life now, and stop living in gloom and doom.  Don't tread on it any longer!  Mistakes happen.  Don't obsess!

What would you tell me if I had done this?  To punish and torture myself because that is so beneficial and helpful?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[vicki595]

Hey little girl...I agree with everything "ImDONE...." said. (As an aside,I'm sick of having to write out her screen name!! It's too hard!!   So,HEY YOU!!
Can we use your real name here???   Please??? LOL)  I don't dare not ask her first...she gets so cranky!!   LMAO!!!

Okay...Yes!!  The relapse got to you and now it's just time to get over it!!  I think the "label" is bothering you A LOT!!   You already have some low self esteem going on and now to tell yourself you're an addict is pretty distasteful to you. So, here's what we'll do: You're not an addict. You're a woman with health issues/concerns who got caught up in a VERY COMMON TRAP.  You have what I like to call a "Prescription Medication Situation".  You no longer have it. You've detoxed. You're healthier. You took a couple of pills recently. BIG DEAL. You'll take pills again because that's the reality of YOUR life and YOUR chronic situation. In the mean time, you know you have what I also like to call a "proclivity toward taking extra pills."  That's not good and you know it. That's all. You know it and you'll always be mindful of that...

You have an excellent therapist. You're lucky!!  She cannot be a friend and that's a good thing!!  I had a great therapist but I had to fire her. She exhausted me! She had too many problems and thought my little use of a drug that was just "so benign" was nothing in comparison...Now I have Paul and he's perfect!!  Anyway...

Maybe going to that AA meeting is freaking you out! (I know it is!!)  So, don't go!!  There's no law here...you can design your very own aftercare...I can give you some ideas...

So,buck up here. No klonipin for you!  It's a downer and you're already down!!    I'll give you some ideas there too...

If I have to load up the bus and come out there...well...that would be fun,huh???   But, I can yell if I have to...instead, I'll just love you to death...that works too!!  

I know I have "what's-her-name" right with me...LOL!!

[ImDONENoMore]

Well I definitely don't think you're DOOMED.  There's a way out of this and you know that.  I just want so much for you to give it the time it deserves without relying on anything - that's all.  And I know how hard you're trying and I respect that.  And I KNOW you can do this I just wish so badly that you would let yourself believe that too!

Seriously dane you had this - and the one slip up you had is totally screwing with your psyche - so don't let it.  It was one stupid mistake - big deal we all make them - the more you acknowledge that the less power it has over you.

I won't lose faith.  And neither should YOU.

[Dane74]

Well, the klonopin is for anxiety right?  And that is through the roof!  i dont know what else to do, i am not really a drinker so i am not concerned about that but the wine does take the edge off.  I am nervous about the klonopin myself , but i am hoping the AD med will kick in and then i can toss those away.  I do find myself reaching for a pill and i know its bad and i  am and just falling apart.  I am having a worse day today than yesterday and i HATE to be such a whiner here, but i am just being honest, IMDONEMORE you know that about me:)  So yes the klonopin scares me too, and i am doomed, i will talk with the therapist all about it on Monday.