Long-term effects of DXM

[robot1414]

Are there any harmful long-term effects of DXM?
For example, if you take one bottle of Robitussin every month.
Also, is there a difference between the cough syrup and the gel caps?

[worried878]

not sure..i dont think one bottle a month is considered overdoing it...the gel caps can be pure dxm but it is monitored at the store if u buy these just like ephedrine products..i bought some of the caps that were 15 mgs of dxm for my cough as i was sick for a month...i think it takes quite a bit to abuse dxm and not sure of what happens as i have never been tempted to abuse it..i do know it is monitored cos some do abuse it tho

[KLM_81]

Depends. Are you taking the whole bottle at once to get high, or just taking correct doses for a cold? If you're taking a lot at once to "trip", then you need to stop. I had a friend in high school who did it once a month or every couple of weeks for a long time (2 or 3 years) and it really messed his brain up. He's never been the same, and he's 30 years old now. He hasn't done it since those days, and never fully recovered. The reason DXM makes you "trip" in large doses is because it's a dis-associative (spellcheck?) which quite literally means that it seperates your mind from your body. DXM is a morphine derivative. it's basically morphine with all of the analgesic properties removed. The high you get from taking large quantities of DXM is the same mental effect as what you'd get from large doses of morphine. The difference of course, is that if you took that much morphine you'd overdose and die. And it's possible to die from the DXM. All in all, it's just a bad thing that no one needs to get into. Only take it in the correct dose, for a cough.

[aprildreams20]

I had my first encounter with Robotusin when I was about 19-20 yrs old. Not knowing the lasting effects on my body, I thought it was the greatest feeling in the world. I remember telling my friend who had never tried it, and he didnt think that it would really work as I bragged. What a fool I was. When I was "trippin" I would engage in activities that I wouldnt normally do making me feel horrible when I came off the high.

Now not having used the drug in over 3 years I feel long-term effects. I feel like I am in a constant daze. When it comes to  making decisions... dont count on me. I feel alot of paranoia now, more than I had ever felt. I am suspicious of people. I can not complete a long-term task like school. I feel as though my thoughts are delayed and some days I feel sorta stoned.

If anyone is comming to this page to make a decision to or not to trip on robotusin, by all means dont. Look around you and think about would you like to be as I descibed uptop. Constantly living in a mental cage where you can not escape. Looking around you and wondering how does everyone else function so well, while you sit in a daze and have a slow reaction to everything around you. I

If anyone reads this, Please.... Please.... Dont "robotrip".

[KLM_81]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I wish more people would do what you just did, and make it known that "Robo-tripping" can ruin lives. In high school, I saw so many of my friends poisoning themselves with it that it just broke my heart. The kids who were constantly doing it looked worse than kids who were hooked on cocaine and ice. Ane they had no idea that their whole personalities were changing. And several of them messed themselves up so bad (permanently) that they are on mental disability today. I did end up addicted to opiates, but I consider myself to be extremely lucky because I didn't like it at all. I hope that you never hesitate to tell this to anyone who will listen.

Thanks again, KLM_81

[AnonAddict]

Take note of this, the "occasional" use of recreational drugs rarely stays that way. I am not implying that drugs are always abused, just that abuse is easier than casual use. I am in my twenties now, but when I was about 13 I started to use DXM as a recreational drug and it grew to be the single greatest addiction of my life. I have abused heroin, crack, cocaine, alcohol, ketamine, pain killers, tryptamines, LSD, mushrooms, nearly everything under the Sun. I have quit them all, haven't used any of them in two years. DXM is a different beast altogether, it is my anti-matter. In my early teens I found a website selling 99.99% pure dextromethorphan hydro-bromide and bought some. I was a chronic; read near daily, as in 340 days out of 365, abuser taking an average of 1,000mg and I have consumed 2,800mg of it in a single sitting. I am a lucky survivor and I SHOULD be dead. Instead I find myself fairly successful but I live with the constant fear that my demon will take it all away. I am in professional counseling but due to the OTC nature of DXM and the difficulty of screening for it I am still an abuser, I go as long as I can usually in the 5-10 day range, and will always be haunted by it. If anyone is reading this, DXM may be an incredible substance, but the overall danger overwhelms any positive benefit. Some wounds are too deep to properly heal. By the way, while DXM IS an opiate derivative it is so heavily chemically altered that it is technically a dissociative more closely related to PCP, Ketamine, and some surgical anesthetics.

[keeka]

it started doin it once.
a few wks later,
once more...
next i knew i was doin atleast 2-3 boxes/bottles per day for a good 9mos.
i shouldve died twice!! (no joke!)
got into alot of trouble and ruined alot of good friendships because of it.
what i hate the most now,
my relationships with people are totally different now..
my whole me is just quite off track, i can feel it.
theres no forgetting what i did to myself. at all, ever!!
i eventually came out of though, thank god!!!
but now im sittin here with extreeemelyy high blood pressure (179/121)
thats rediculous,
not only that but im different..
everything is!!!!
its unexplainable, but i know life will never be the same.
ive told my story too many times,
but im glad im here to tell it!
now i wont even take cough meds for a cough...
no matter how bad, i dont care.
not even cough drops/strips with dxm in it.
nooo waay!!!!
and i hiighy recommend you dont either!
its not worth it,
nothing is. nobody is.
because at times now i still feel all the negative effects, just without the high..
and let me tell you it *****!!
i could stroke out or have a heart attack any day, even though im on a couple different pills controlling that control my hypertension pretty well.
it still has its own way of thinking and goes up real fast real high, all just depending.
i constantly feel my heart beating so irregularly and extremely fast,
a steady tight pressured feeling like its gun explode out my chest,
horrible horrible headaches,
im a very excessive sweater now (no deoderants help, even perscription. ive tried it all)
i feel like a completely different person,
theres no doubt in my mind that ive changed mentally more than anything,
theres so much more...
fry my brain, liver, heart and so on (the list gets really long, too long!)
we could be here for years, literally!!
but IM JUST WARNING YOU not to waste ur time,
its fun yeah. but ruins your life!
if not in this way, itll get you somehow or another..
physically, mentally and emotionally!!!!
<3 <3

[ErialC]

I am a 24 year old female.

When I was 15, my friend introduced me to DMX.  We took it and she ended up OD-ing and ended up in the hospital.  I probably should have gone to the hospital too.  I took 8 Cordicidans and 2 hours later, I wasn't feeling anything, so I took the rest of the box (16 pills total).

All I remember is tripping so hard, I had no idea where I was or who I was.  I was scared and freaked out.  Strangely enough, after that night, I found that needed DXM to escape insecurities and reality.  I tried different products until I found the one I liked the best (CVS brand cough suppressant).  It made me feel invincible.  I had so much energy and I became the outgoing, friendly person that I wanted to be.

I didn't do it a lot at first (because I didn't have a car to go get it).  I did one 4 ounce bottle a couple times a month.

Things got out of control when I got my driver’s license.  I had a job to buy the cough syrup, a car to get the cough syrup, and trusting parents.  I consistently did it 3-4 times a week (4-8oz a day).

There were times when I would spend two months just binging on DXM.  I would start out with 4 ounces a day but my tolerance grew and I worked my way up to 8+ ounces a day.  One time I drank 24 ounces.

I wasn’t thinking about side effects, I just needed to get away from everything.  I figured that I had done enough damage to my body that there was no point in quitting.

I really didn't feel negative side affects until into the 3rd year of my addiction.  I would get sharp pains in my chest and I was 20lbs underweight.  

When I turned 21, I would constantly drink alcohol with cough syrup.  It intensified the trip and the cough syrup was my remedy for hangovers.  They went hand in hand for me.

I finally wanted to quit after 7 years and I tried quitting more times than I could count.  I would get up to 3 days sober and life would feel unbearable and I would look for justification to do it again (usually for energy).  

After 8 years (August 2008), I was through letting DXM control my life.  I finally quit cold turkey.  It WAS the hardest obstacle I have ever had to overcome.  It has been almost a year since the last time I tripped and I am still fighting cravings to this day.  My speech is slurred when I get flustered; I have issues with anxiety, extreme paranoia, fatigue, depression, chest pains.  My memory is shot and I have a hard time finding the words I’m trying to say.  

I can’t go back to prevent my life from taking this path, but I can learn from it and move forward from there.

Please take my advice and stay away from DXM and all other drugs especially if you have an addictive personality like I do.  

[ErialC]

PS-- I just realized I put DMX in the start of my post instead of DXM... I'm new to this community and I can't figure out how to edit messages.
Just for the record, I've never met DMX  :)

[happiness_reigns]

When I was 18, I used DXM extensively for about 9 months.  I got to the point where I was taking 56 skittles per day.  My best friend was doing the same.  The difference is that I decided to quit, and she did not.

She still takes skittles to this day.  I have heard her speech slur from time to time.  But most of all, she is not the same person.  It has taken over her personality.  We have stopped talking because she is so different now.  I know that time changes people, but she is not the girl I used to know in any way.

As for me, I had speech problems for a few years, but I have pretty much worked through them.  My biggest problem is my short term MEMORY!  I can't remember anything anymore.  I have to make lists constantly to remember anything.  When I leave the house I have to say, "Baby, pacifier, time card, wallet, keys, etc"  so that I don't forget anything.  This is just ONE of my lists I have to use to get through my day.  Not to mention the conversations I don't even know I've had.  

There are also some auditory problems I've had in the past.  I always hear voices when water is running.  If I'm doing the dishes, I have to go and check on the baby over and over because I think she's crying.  It's crazy!!!

I don't know what's going on.  I wish they had more research on the long term effects of DXM.  If it had been out there when I started tripping, maybe I would have changed my mind about it.  But now I struggle with daily life.  Please, if you use, use it sparingly.  The feeling is awesome, but it's not worth the long term effects.  I can't imagine the struggles I have yet to come across.  If you don't stay away because of yourself, do it for your future children!!!  Please!!

[jdoe89]

I started robotrippin when I was 16.  I went to rehabd when I was 18 to try to get off of it.  I'm 20 now and just went through a serious relapse.  At points I was taking about 1650mg of mucinex a day.  I would look in the mirror and see myself looking at myself.  But it would seem like someone else was staring back at me.  I think I might have some brain damage from what I've done, but I've quit while I'm still young and I hope that I can continue with my future the way I plan to.  I am unable to sleep well now and I do have the feeling of paranoia and a strange feeling in my head sometimes.  At times I was doing 40-80 robitussin pills a day.  I can take a box of coriciden without much effect anymore.  I would need about two boxes to get a high.  Crazy right?  My names Josh Sidoti and I'm from Connecticut.  I'm getting into the music industry now and I'm cleaning my life up.  I go to Eastern Connecticut State University and have kept a 3.3 GPA.  But when I'm on DMX everything gets ****** up.  My whole life goes downhill.  I plan to be famous and you can do whatever you dream to do.  I think my experiences will help me reach out to fans, but I think the effects have messed me up somewhat.  I'm working on getting back to normal.  Don't robotrip, it makes you a zombie.  It's not worth it.  Smoke some weed if you need to.  Find Jesus and stay on the right path.  That's all I can say.  Amen.

[MikeScar25]

I don't have much to say because many people covered throughout the variety of posts. I have to agree with Dizzle to a certain extent. What your saying is true, but saying drugs have no overall effect without the mental stability of denying it is just not true. Your explanation on bad trips, however, is true in my opinion. People who are screwed up from DXM are not following the one and only rule of just taking the one drug. DXM is seen as this dastardly drug because people's minds are being messed up because of the antihistamines in major overdose, etc. People don't understand that Dextromethorphan is one of our most recent great chemical discoveries in the medical and recreational field. It replaced over the counter Codeine as a cough suppressant so ad mouth it all you want it is safe at recreational doses of a 4oz. bottle. Even with the maximum dosage of 15mg for every 5mL it is only around 316mg. RISK OF DEATH IS 2500MG AND UP with just DXM. Abuse is a different story but thats the case with all drugs. DXM is one of the safest out there which is why its over the counter and is not a controlled substance such as codeine.

Over activity of the sigma 1 receptor is the only skeptical problem. That and the activity to the cerebellum, but unless you are taking it everyday in extreme dosages I can practically guarantee its not long term. Too many people jump to conclusions. I use DXM at the 316mg dose once or twice every..i'd say 2 months if that. Thats not a regualr pattern but is ended up what usually is. I've accumulated around 6=7 bottles over 2 years. I'm still young (17) so I'm trying to safely use while I dont have kids/a wife

[gnarly_1]

HI Mike welcome to the forum....I always watch this post for young men and wemen you need to know some facts about robo tripping....first off you can send yourself into a psychosis
at the doses your taking its like the lsd of my day you dont know how your trip is going to turn out till it to late to turn around it also leads to depression in people something a 17yr old wouldn't want to have happen...in general it is not safe stuff to be tripping on
take it from an old hippie thats triped to many times to remember do yourself a favor
and get off the drugs will your young or you might just waist your whole life on them like I have...life is far to precious to waist it in a fog....good luck and God bless....Gnarly  

[MikeScar25]

If you're reading this, I greatly apprieciate your words. Especially from an experienced person as yourself. And I do understand what your saying. Of course tripping is good for your brain. It never is. My fascination with drugs isn't just recreational playing around, it is more of recreational use with observation and safety. From reading all of the comments here I've learned a lot although some of these situations are in fact not just from DXM.
I make these comments so there is a voice against just the negatives with facts not blind defence to enlighten people. To expand opinions from being myopic or narrow-minded.
The thing with drugs in general is that they are a magnificent discovery in human existance. The only problem is that it seems for the ones that bring "excitement" negatives out weigh the positives. I can't help to agree. Seeing teens around me consuming without knowledge and/or logic is the real problem. That and addiction. But for me, I dive in without a blind eye. I live with drugs and a life. A healthy one. DXM is not safe to use continuously, I know. Once I finish my last year of high school. I hope to spend multiple years in college to become a psychiatrist. If I succeed, as many have, than I will speak for many people. And assist in legalizing marijuana ;) But, if that fails due to drugs then I will personally apologize for my words here and attempt to apologize to you Gnarly. Be back in 6 years :D

[dominosarah]

You are trying to tell some us who have been addicts most of our lives that drugs are a magnificent discovery?  You also say "seeing teens around me consuming without knowledge and/or logic is the problem"....Your 17 and i see the same from you.  Your going down a long lonely dead end road if you dont change up your thinking.  Stick around here and see the REALITY of what drugs do~~~~sara

[gnarly_1]

Thanks Sara.....it hurts the most to see the young ones starting off just like we did with the same thinking .....''I will be careful with drugs''.....they just dont understand there is no careful or intelligent way to use drugs....it always ends in destruction be it 1 day 1 yr or a decade
you know me at Kat went threw or wedding album and out of aprox 50 couples only 1 besides ourselfs is still married ....all of the rest at the time where recreational users
and all have broken up because of addiction in one form or another its really sad  

[Jwcn40]

You need to change your perspective and quick.  I was you, 4.0 G.P.A., studying for medical school.  The further along I got into drugs, the more I began focusing on Psychiatry.  I wanted to know it all and as fast as possible.  All things culminated and finally after one incidence with LSD, life got interesting.  I'll tell you, I thought I had control over everything.  With a positive outlook, anything is possible, and this is true.  However, if your actions do not consistently support your perspective, my friend, that perspective will soon change.  Drugs can indeed help aid people, but they must be accompanied with behavioral rehabilitative services.  Behavioral rehabilitation being the key factor.  In the instance of a young teenager who seemingly has his life in check and is using any mind altering substance, he must redefine his priorities and quickly.  

In my case, I was moving too quickly.  Learning too much, which felt great, but was naive to believe I was ready for.  I was smoking pot and then started taking Adderall.  I tripped on mushrooms, and felt the universe expanding around me.  I would walk around like I knew the answer to life and people of course treated me as such, which of course habituated my actions.  That's a lesson in it's own right.  One trip on LSD, spiritual, behavioral; it was a culmination of everything unexplainable and I woke up a different person.  I had to leave school, realized that I could not look at another passage that defined or tried to explain human emotions.  I would look in the mirror and see a stranger staring back at me.  I had realized that I had been driving myself slowly into a lost reality and the virtues that I grew up idolizing, although not lost, became misconstrued and in many circumstances, vain.  

Now, what someone who is young, enthusiastic, confident and who has begun to feel the wonderful and enlightening affects that drugs have brought into their life, does not realize, is the immense part of their self that they are unknowingly taking advantage of every time they choose to experience life through a drug rather than seeing what they are made of all on their own.  

One absolute truth; no great pleasure in life comes upfront without dividends having to be paid in the future.  If your consuming the devil's food, be sure that he will find a way to get his worth.  

The truth is, I found myself in a place where it would not have mattered if I was a Psychiatrist and living seemingly successful because I lost myself through the process.  I took three years off from school and worked every crap job, sometimes, three at a time, and all of it was me just trying to get back to basics.  I have been back in school for 2 years now getting my Engineering degree, but I will say that I still struggle with the demons of my past.  Trying to recreate myself has been the single-most difficult journey of my life.  I had to disconnect with friends and at many long periods of time be alone.  The longer I can withdrawal from my old ways, the more developed my vision becomes.  The past never forgets to leave reminders for me and the demons are only as far as I allow them to be.  

With knowledge comes responsibility, and we receive and are given only as much as we are ultimately meant to handle.  Drugs are a shortcut to intelligence we may be able to comprehend, but we were not yet or perhaps ever meant to obtain.  The truth is, there are many faucets in life.  When we are young and feel the power, we never stop to think about all the things we have not yet to discover and how those things will affect us later on.  
My biggest achievement in life has come from realizing the power of hard work, sweat and tears...Up Front...The reward will come down the road.  Drugs will only distract you set you of course, telling you to cut corners and take bigger steps then you were meant to take.  Don't be overanxious, make each step count.  The tortoise and the hare, a childhood fable. It can't be wrong.

[leannin]

yea i used to drink 3-4 cough syrup bottles a day for about 3-4 years n b4 tht once a week an i havnt leaned in a while lean meaning tripped only a cple times here an there cus it wasnt the same as it used to b i used to b the most confident out spoken dude in the room w.e i was at now im depressed an anti social i feel stupid at times i feel like evrery one around is talkin about me im a whole different person does anyone have any advice on what to do or any one have any positive stories that they quit an over time they felt back to normal cus i havent done it in a wile im gettin better little by little i jus really need some hope

[leannin]

yea i used to drink 3-4 cough syrup bottles a day for about 3-4 years n b4 tht once a week an i havnt leaned in a while lean meaning tripped only a cple times here an there cus it wasnt the same as it used to b i used to b the most confident out spoken dude in the room w.e i was at now im depressed an anti social i feel stupid at times i feel like evrery one around is talkin about me im a whole different person does anyone have any advice on what to do or any one have any positive stories that they quit an over time they felt back to normal cus i havent done it in a wile im gettin better little by little i jus really need some hope

[megaking767]

howdy. on average i took 24 pills a day to get high. 16 during school and 8 more after when i started coming back to reality again. this went on for 3 or 4 months i think.

first ask yourself why you first started doing it. i first tried it right before i turned 16. i was grounded, but allowed to go hang out at my girlfriends house. i was out of weed so i looked up "easy ways to get high" i found dxm and so i tried a little bit maybe a third of a bottle. when i went to see my girl, everythin was different, the mood, the way we talked, i really liked it.

i didnt keep doing it after that cause id rather spend money on weed. but i knew i found a new drug that i really enjoyed.

but now ask yourself what happened. i mean what was going on in your life or what were you thinking when you started really taking dxm a lot? were you just bored and it was your favorite or using it to escape something? whatever.

my girlfriend ****** one of my best friends and she was my first and i was really attached to her. for several reasons, i was only mad at me, no one else, but i chose to cut everyone i knew off. i was already anti social, but now i was anti social to the extreme where i tried at all costs to avoid people. but now i was anti-social, and depressed. i had never felt this much sadness or self pity or low self confidence ever. i felt like i was doing something wrong, i didnt talk to ANYONE about any of this. i would lie and tell people who asked that i was fine and not upset over the break-up.

So now im stealing and buying bottles and boxes of pills of DXM everyday and stocking up and taking it like candy all the time. it felt good to escape the reality i was in. i wanted to forget so i used dxm because it helped me do that. i wanted to forget the person i was. i had low self image. i didnt like myself or my situation in life in general. i hated everything. And the DXM fed me power i wanted. it fed me happy feelings of well being, self confidence, it made me social, friendly, i really cared about everything more but mostly cared about me being ****** up.

i was so happy to be tripping, the feeling i used to explain to people was this. right as i began to the trips, i described the long arm of dxm reaching down and placing its palm under my brain softly, then lifting it up way into the air forever. it feels like u go up an up and it never stop pulling you up and its great.

one day i was looking up stuff about dxm and its plateaus and ways to get the pure form. and i stumbled on an article about long term effect studys on dxm abusers brains. these effects last even after you quit. the studys were conducted on average users which means people who take 400-1000mg once a week. something called olneys lesions form. microscopic potholes all over your brain. that scared me to death. it also talked about it can ruin your short term memory. it really messes with the part of your brain that functions when your learning something. (yeah, when your trying to learn something, anything, new.) it burns out certain receptors in ur brain and neurons dont fire like they used to. dxm basically puts your mind through a blender if you use it even moderately in higher doses than the label recommends.

anyways i was relieved to find out the damage is mostly reversible. its not entirely permanent. depending on how much you took dxm, it can take 1-4 years after you stop to come back to normal for the most part. during these years youll experience withdrawals. psychosis that can last 1 day up to a month. after i read that article, i quit completely.

my experience has been horible. it took me  months to get over sleepless nights, random cold sweats, muscle twitches all over my body, my depression came back even worse, accompanied with the knowledge that i probably ruined my mental capacity for life. during all this time ive found new things to be depressed or mad at in my life. so much i cant remember everything that contributes to my depression anymore. i believed i would be stuck in this state of mind forever. my outlook on life, my friends, was very bad. i was paranoid that everyone i knew and people at school were constantly plotting against me or talking bad behind my back. i was making up elaborate plans in my head that i thought people had against me. it was crazy. this was all fake.

slowly but surely i realized this isnt the end of the world, id force my self to go be with friends and parents, hoping theyd notice my bad mood and ask whats wrong or just force me to say something at all. and i started talking about what was stuck in my head. i told my parents and several friends about the damage dxm had on me, how i thought i was retarded now, how i quit and what im goin through.

Now that im 19, its 3 years later and i still dont have the greatest memory. i almost didnt graduate highschool because id give up on learning the subject because of how frustrated i got. i simply could not learn in school like i used to. i couldnt remember the lesson from the day before. i used to be 4.0 gpa and get everything in on time or early. dxm abuse has hindered my academic abilities. im glad i graduated though.

my entire personality is different. i used to be real critical and picky and angry towards my friends for the smallest things. now im very laid back and open to most all ideas. im very lazy now, i cant focus like i used to.
i used to try and remember all the reasons for my depression, but i dont stress myself worrying about the reasons anymore. i just forget those problems alltogether. not much bothers me anymore. on the other hand i dont really care about much either. i still get depressed almost all the time for no reason it seems like. it just wont go away. im not dying inside but im not making progress either. i feel like im stuck like this the rest of my life. im just depressed, at times im really sad, and maybe a couple days out of a month im in kind of a good mood. but i just have this haze over my head that follows me everywhere its like i cant think straight ever.

when i talk to people, i dont speak my thoughts right. it takes me a quite some time to figure out the words to say to anyone. ill say something to somebody, and 2 or 3 days later ill realize that i gave them the completely wrong idea or i made it all up, but i didnt mean to do that. im getting very confused just writing this post but im doing my best.

i cant figure out how to move forward. but i tell myself to not get upset about this because thats more stress i dont need. i cant focus, the loss of interest is huge, i cant get out of bed to do anything, even if i dont have work.

nothing positive has come from dxm. i dont know what to do i feel like my mind keeps falling into these holes that take me for ever to dig out of. i cant find my groove you know. i cant be myself entirely, i cant catch that drift i gotta catch ya know. somethings missing, a big part of me isnt familiar anymore. i dont know.
its like im normal one day and i feel like myself is back in its prime and everythings how it should actually be. and then i go back to bein in this daze for weeks. it feels better to share though. feels good to explain myself.

[megaking767]

sorry about the huge post, i had more but i had to delete it. anyways i hope my post helps, and i hope someone can relate with me or reply back with something, anything. okay cya.

[tingtongtom]

Sorry to hear of your story megaking. You are still only 19 though, keep that ib mind. That is still very young and you have a lot of time to find your way in life. You brain will repair itself in time, I have read up on damage since my last post and from what I have seen, it effects yoru brain a lot like ecstasy abuse. It destroys neurological pathways which can cause short term memory loss, but there is no evidence to suggest permanent brain damage from what I can find. You were not on DXM for a huge a mount of time either.

I suggest you get out and find yourself a path in life, it can be motivated by education, by a career, by helping others, maybe even a spiritual path, but just get up and get out or search the net for something on the net which is accessible to you in and round your area. Maybe you may want to move away all together... I left my university course 8 months before its completion and moved from England to Thailand. I have been here nearly one year now. I was so involved in many many substances and very unhappy in my 'rut', it was only until I got out of that place, that social circle that i found a new life. But subsequently I have foolishly made myself new problems.

I wish you all the best,
Tom

[blahhead]

i have just recently quit doing dxm. my friends did not enjoy it as much as i did so i usually tripped alone. i got to say i am suffering from long term effects and thats what brought me to this page to begin with. i've never talked to anyone about this but it feels good. to begin i'd say my brain is a lot different and my thinking. i used to be hyper and out going and the "life of the party". now its like i can't think of anything to talk about with my best friends. i have trouble keeping up conversations and trying to get my point across. my mind does still kinda feel seperate from the rest of me if that makes sense. i am very delayed. and i tell its scary to think i might be stuck like this. i knew from the very beginning that dxm caused brain damage but of course i thought it wouldn't happen to me. i am very anti social now becasue i think more so because of my paranoia of feeling mentally different than others. its not like my IQ dropped or anything it just takes longer to say/do what i mean. i used to be sharp and quick with a comeback but now i can't even think of what to say. i can only concentrate on one thing at a time. and the "daze" feeling some describe perfectly illustrates the way i feel. i feel kinda high without being high. and when im just sitting around say in a car driving or something my mind is literally thinking of nothing. i remember when i used to just think of absurd things and funny things and easily strike a conversation about it but now my mind is completely blank all the time. i hate it and just want to go back to normal if its even possible :(

[zackyflames]

I really cant believe it o.O reading this is like looking ahead into my future. ive taken just soo many already like everyday. One time when i took 46 coriciden pills i tripped so hard.. i had to go to school the next morning and i relized at 5 omg im still awake and ****** up.. i said whatever and listened to music. it was fast in my head like it was telling me a story in a weird feeling.. after i went into school and i took one step in there and my body begain trembeling and my eyes were twitching. i just knew it wasnt going to be good. i stumbled my way to the class room look right at a kid i bearly even knew and just told him im scared out of my mind. we had to get up and pick a laptop and i was so scared. i had to force myself to walk straight, i cant let the teacher know. she took one look at me and i could tell she knew. even the prinicpal just come down looked at me for 5 seconds crossed him arms and just walked away.. idk if i am just paranoid but th shaking and trembling just seemed way to obvious for them not to notice..

i have been a drug addict ever since i first discovered weed. but it got worse and worse. i finally got through the class but then next class was relaxing cause my teacher loves me and would mnever do anything to hurt me so i was relaxed.

i went to my next class and relized i was petrayfied the minute i sat in my sit, i looked at my friend and asked "do i..." i didnt even finish and he was just like ya your shaking like ur frozen in ice. and said to the kid up front "look at haffa" he looked at me and was like damn what are you high off of. the teacher came over looked at me and i was shaking to death and she just looked at me and poked me with her marker.. ive never felt an expiernce more weird. in that one moment i relized people actually care about me, why have i never relized it..

after  i finally calmed down and made it through school.. the minute i walked out i said to myself, i need more i need way more. i went to cvs walked right in there took 3 boxes put them in my sweatshirt and walked right out. the alarm went out but ididnt care i had pills. i got home and took a box and really didnt feel the way i did the night before. but my gf was coming over and i told her i would not DXM trip again, before i was only taking cough medicines and never got such an intense high, as soon as my gf came over she knew i was ****** up and i just told here i promise  will stop, just smoke this weed with me.. we went in my closet and clam baked. the next thing i knew i was mysef at all. it was like a was completly new to the world. like i was just brought here. i was so happyyy so excited.

Then we went out of my closet after she dragged me out. i didnt like the change but then as soon as we got out i was flipping with excitement cause of my favorite shows was on. 5 mins later i pulled the covers over me turned away from her and just started crying horible. i relized and said "my body is leakingg, just like physical pain makes you bleed emotional pain makes you cry." i just invisioned my mucus and tears pouring out of me. as soon as i calmed down my gf looked at me and said, "my moms on her way to get me" the minute she said that i say right past her and knew she just wanted to leave me cause it was to early for her mom to be coming. i felt like the one person i could trust at the time crushed me. she left.. i took the other 2 boxes of pills and  thought wait i never waited for the pills to kick in the first time that why they werent affecting me until after and i just took so much more.. that night i felt like i was in the middle of life and death, i couldnt see, i couldnt feel myself breathe.. just the fast pounding off my heart and all these ideas in my head. i felt like my soul was being ripped out of me but something wouldnt let it go.

a day later i woke up and relized, all i need is drugs, sex, and music. i txted my gf and told her i cant wait for her to come over today.. when she left last night she promised she would come back.. i told her and she told me she doesnt love me anymore. she just wants the old me back. at that point i relized ive been changing this whole time even before this whole trip. how angry i would get, how happy, how anxious, how sad, just everythingg.. i said whateverr if she doesnt love me for me then i dont need her. this is me now and i dont need her. i called up a girl i used to know and we made plans for her to come over to my house and have sex with me. and i asked if she ever robotripped, she said no and imediatly i told her well ur gonna have to do it with me. she said okay

the next day she came over and my mom left. as she was on her way i went there the medicine cabnets read every box that had DXM and took them. alksalzer tablets, and a bottle of robotissin.. later she cam over and brought the money i asked her to bring. we went to the store and i stole  2 boxes and had my friend buy one since im only 16. after the store we got back i had 14 tablets half a bottle of robotissin and 24 more pills. went to my friends with her... after i cheated on my gf :/ we went and smoked weed. like so much and then all of a sudden i was massively ****** up.  i was hallucinating like crazy couldnt control myseklf what so ever.. i loved it soo much. the say after my friend come over and i told him all about it and we played rockband till he says hey i found this on the ground. it was an alkaser tablet and freaked out with enjoyment and relized i didnt take all of em and ran up the stairs took the rest of them and took all of them. after i puked my guts out and just had a nice amazing relaxing day.

after a while i just couldnt go back to the store and my house was all out of DXM stuff so i just felt hopeless. i cant walk into cvs without them staring me down. i just felt so lost

TO ANYONE who takes this remember dont let the high consume you, if you were over 18 and had money and were like me you probably wouldnt be alive anymore. it has messed me up so bad. pills are my life. they are all i am and all i have. dont let things get out of hand. dont let yourself thing ur immune to the long term effect or over dosing or getting addicted. sometimes i think if i killed myself maybe ill live in a dream world and be high as much as i want. thats all i want and feels like its all i ever wanted.. just DONT even touch the stuff. It will be better for you in the end. somethings so amazing could never have had a worse effect. it hasnt even been long and i feel like my life is going to end up as a failure or just be dead soon.. i dont want that as my life and you wont either. addictions literally do sneak up on u till its to late.. when u think in your mind i can do this all i want and i wont be addicted.. its most likely the drugs telling you that so youll take more and get really addicted. one sign of being an addict is not admitting you have a problem.. i have a problem that just wont stop

[zackyflames]

I really cant believe it o.O reading this is like looking ahead into my future. ive taken just soo many already like everyday. One time when i took 46 coriciden pills i tripped so hard.. i had to go to school the next morning and i relized at 5 omg im still awake and ****** up.. i said whatever and listened to music. it was fast in my head like it was telling me a story in a weird feeling.. after i went into school and i took one step in there and my body begain trembeling and my eyes were twitching. i just knew it wasnt going to be good. i stumbled my way to the class room look right at a kid i bearly even knew and just told him im scared out of my mind. we had to get up and pick a laptop and i was so scared. i had to force myself to walk straight, i cant let the teacher know. she took one look at me and i could tell she knew. even the prinicpal just come down looked at me for 5 seconds crossed him arms and just walked away.. idk if i am just paranoid but th shaking and trembling just seemed way to obvious for them not to notice..

i have been a drug addict ever since i first discovered weed. but it got worse and worse. i finally got through the class but then next class was relaxing cause my teacher loves me and would mnever do anything to hurt me so i was relaxed.

i went to my next class and relized i was petrayfied the minute i sat in my sit, i looked at my friend and asked "do i..." i didnt even finish and he was just like ya your shaking like ur frozen in ice. and said to the kid up front "look at haffa" he looked at me and was like damn what are you high off of. the teacher came over looked at me and i was shaking to death and she just looked at me and poked me with her marker.. ive never felt an expiernce more weird. in that one moment i relized people actually care about me, why have i never relized it..

after  i finally calmed down and made it through school.. the minute i walked out i said to myself, i need more i need way more. i went to cvs walked right in there took 3 boxes put them in my sweatshirt and walked right out. the alarm went out but ididnt care i had pills. i got home and took a box and really didnt feel the way i did the night before. but my gf was coming over and i told her i would not DXM trip again, before i was only taking cough medicines and never got such an intense high, as soon as my gf came over she knew i was ****** up and i just told here i promise  will stop, just smoke this weed with me.. we went in my closet and clam baked. the next thing i knew i was mysef at all. it was like a was completly new to the world. like i was just brought here. i was so happyyy so excited.

Then we went out of my closet after she dragged me out. i didnt like the change but then as soon as we got out i was flipping with excitement cause of my favorite shows was on. 5 mins later i pulled the covers over me turned away from her and just started crying horible. i relized and said "my body is leakingg, just like physical pain makes you bleed emotional pain makes you cry." i just invisioned my mucus and tears pouring out of me. as soon as i calmed down my gf looked at me and said, "my moms on her way to get me" the minute she said that i say right past her and knew she just wanted to leave me cause it was to early for her mom to be coming. i felt like the one person i could trust at the time crushed me. she left.. i took the other 2 boxes of pills and  thought wait i never waited for the pills to kick in the first time that why they werent affecting me until after and i just took so much more.. that night i felt like i was in the middle of life and death, i couldnt see, i couldnt feel myself breathe.. just the fast pounding off my heart and all these ideas in my head. i felt like my soul was being ripped out of me but something wouldnt let it go.

a day later i woke up and relized, all i need is drugs, sex, and music. i txted my gf and told her i cant wait for her to come over today.. when she left last night she promised she would come back.. i told her and she told me she doesnt love me anymore. she just wants the old me back. at that point i relized ive been changing this whole time even before this whole trip. how angry i would get, how happy, how anxious, how sad, just everythingg.. i said whateverr if she doesnt love me for me then i dont need her. this is me now and i dont need her. i called up a girl i used to know and we made plans for her to come over to my house and have sex with me. and i asked if she ever robotripped, she said no and imediatly i told her well ur gonna have to do it with me. she said okay

the next day she came over and my mom left. as she was on her way i went there the medicine cabnets read every box that had DXM and took them. alksalzer tablets, and a bottle of robotissin.. later she cam over and brought the money i asked her to bring. we went to the store and i stole  2 boxes and had my friend buy one since im only 16. after the store we got back i had 14 tablets half a bottle of robotissin and 24 more pills. went to my friends with her... after i cheated on my gf :/ we went and smoked weed. like so much and then all of a sudden i was massively ****** up.  i was hallucinating like crazy couldnt control myseklf what so ever.. i loved it soo much. the say after my friend come over and i told him all about it and we played rockband till he says hey i found this on the ground. it was an alkaser tablet and freaked out with enjoyment and relized i didnt take all of em and ran up the stairs took the rest of them and took all of them. after i puked my guts out and just had a nice amazing relaxing day.

after a while i just couldnt go back to the store and my house was all out of DXM stuff so i just felt hopeless. i cant walk into cvs without them staring me down. i just felt so lost

TO ANYONE who takes this remember dont let the high consume you, if you were over 18 and had money and were like me you probably wouldnt be alive anymore. it has messed me up so bad. pills are my life. they are all i am and all i have. dont let things get out of hand. dont let yourself thing ur immune to the long term effect or over dosing or getting addicted. sometimes i think if i killed myself maybe ill live in a dream world and be high as much as i want. thats all i want and feels like its all i ever wanted.. just DONT even touch the stuff. It will be better for you in the end. somethings so amazing could never have had a worse effect. it hasnt even been long and i feel like my life is going to end up as a failure or just be dead soon.. i dont want that as my life and you wont either. addictions literally do sneak up on u till its to late.. when u think in your mind i can do this all i want and i wont be addicted.. its most likely the drugs telling you that so youll take more and get really addicted. one sign of being an addict is not admitting you have a problem.. i have a problem that just wont stop