Aa
Looking for reasons please
This may just be the thoughts of a drug abuser, but what is the point in stopping the abuse? I make enough money to continue the habit, have no family to damage, and enjoy my time on pills. I've only been clean 24hours from a 3 year hydrocodone addiction, but I'm looking for a reason to stay with it. I keep telling myself I'll feel better if I get off them. I think I'll feel worse knowing that I have to go the rest of my life sober. What do you sober people look forward to? That is my scariest thought. What can possibly make you happier than drugs? Sorry for being pessimistic, cynical, and a general jerk. Please tell me I'm wrong. I have to be missing the big picture.
thank you guys for listening.
thank you guys for listening.
People who've been there are giving you the best advice. YOU are able to leave behind the slavery to drugs. Be your best cheerleader to YOURSELF ! Change those negative thoughts to positive. Just think.... if you have money and are clean, think what you can do for your fellow man. Volunteer ! This is the best way to change your negatives into positives. You will feel so proud of yourself by helping others. Life is very short. Please, think well of yourself, forgive yourself and go out to do for others. A happy life is there for the taking. Best wishes to you.
i wasn't able to STAY clean until using became nothing but pain.
the idea of being clean seemed didn't seem any better. in fact, it seemed worse and it seemed impossible . . .
i was at that point where i couldn't live with using, but couldn't see how i could make it without using.
that's a bad place to be, but it seems to be a great place from which to jump (or fall) into recovery.
i heard what i thought was a great saying for the first time this morning: "it's a lot easier to surrender when you're out of bullets."
there are many people who are able to find recovery without getting to the "recover or die" point. but i'm not one of them - i had to take it over the edge.
by all rights i should be dead or at least in federal prison. but grace has nothing to do with rights. i believe that i was saved from certain destruction by whatever or whoever it is that created the fabric of space and time, and all the wonderful things that are in it . . . including entangled particles that somehow "know" what is happening to the other even before light itself could have travelled the distance between them.
Psalm 107 speaks to what it was like for me and what happened:
17Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
18 They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.
19 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
20 He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave
at the time i cried to a power that i doubted, it would have been enough if i was just "rescued from the grave." it would have been more than enough if i was "given my life back." as it turned out, if i had limited myself to these things i would have sold myself far short. i never did get "my life" back, but i did get a new life that i like much better.
for the last 3+ years i have lived in a very good world in which i frequently meet wonderful people . . . it is simply a fact that in the last 3 years and 5 months i have met more wonderful people than i did in the almost 47 years before that.
life in recovery is not just better for me than when i was in active addiction, it's better than it ever was before. much better.
personally, i'm glad that i went into the abyss, because i needed to go there to get to where i am now.
CATUF
the idea of being clean seemed didn't seem any better. in fact, it seemed worse and it seemed impossible . . .
i was at that point where i couldn't live with using, but couldn't see how i could make it without using.
that's a bad place to be, but it seems to be a great place from which to jump (or fall) into recovery.
i heard what i thought was a great saying for the first time this morning: "it's a lot easier to surrender when you're out of bullets."
there are many people who are able to find recovery without getting to the "recover or die" point. but i'm not one of them - i had to take it over the edge.
by all rights i should be dead or at least in federal prison. but grace has nothing to do with rights. i believe that i was saved from certain destruction by whatever or whoever it is that created the fabric of space and time, and all the wonderful things that are in it . . . including entangled particles that somehow "know" what is happening to the other even before light itself could have travelled the distance between them.
Psalm 107 speaks to what it was like for me and what happened:
17Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
18 They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.
19 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
20 He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave
at the time i cried to a power that i doubted, it would have been enough if i was just "rescued from the grave." it would have been more than enough if i was "given my life back." as it turned out, if i had limited myself to these things i would have sold myself far short. i never did get "my life" back, but i did get a new life that i like much better.
for the last 3+ years i have lived in a very good world in which i frequently meet wonderful people . . . it is simply a fact that in the last 3 years and 5 months i have met more wonderful people than i did in the almost 47 years before that.
life in recovery is not just better for me than when i was in active addiction, it's better than it ever was before. much better.
personally, i'm glad that i went into the abyss, because i needed to go there to get to where i am now.
CATUF
Hello All!
Wow. What a group of people. I have never seen such great care given to a person unknown. I still have not "used" and made it through a rough night. This sneezing business has got to go. ha. I knew the withdrawal would be unpleasant and that's fine. I expect and deserve the worst. Maybe it will keep me from ever wanting to face this again. I will re- read these inspirational posts over and over again, as I find I get more and more each time I see them. I can't help but feel selfish that you wonderful people have taken time out of your day to help me out. I can only hope this will also be inspiration to others, like myself, who were looking for answers in any form they could find and that each of you finds or has found what you are looking for in life. I will continue to contribute as much as I can when I can. My thoughts and words are jumbled in my pounding head.
I may be lacking a family to call my own, but it seems I have found a group of souls to cover the edges.
my sincere best
user4
Wow. What a group of people. I have never seen such great care given to a person unknown. I still have not "used" and made it through a rough night. This sneezing business has got to go. ha. I knew the withdrawal would be unpleasant and that's fine. I expect and deserve the worst. Maybe it will keep me from ever wanting to face this again. I will re- read these inspirational posts over and over again, as I find I get more and more each time I see them. I can't help but feel selfish that you wonderful people have taken time out of your day to help me out. I can only hope this will also be inspiration to others, like myself, who were looking for answers in any form they could find and that each of you finds or has found what you are looking for in life. I will continue to contribute as much as I can when I can. My thoughts and words are jumbled in my pounding head.
I may be lacking a family to call my own, but it seems I have found a group of souls to cover the edges.
my sincere best
user4
i sometimes feel the same way you do user, i find myself trying to justify my thoughts of wanting to get high. sometimes i even convince myself but once i give into myself i end up feeling soo much worse. ive got to start all the way at the begining again. it makes me feel so weak minded!! life is soo boring without the high. when all you think about and everything you do revolves around getting high.is this really living life? i cant even recall how much of my life ive wasted "searching" when i think about it, its kinda nuts how something soo small effects your life in such a tremndous way. i just wanted you to know youre not the only one out there feeling this way. im not sure myself...
i want to tell everyone that posted above how much i admire you all for your sincerity and your compassion, it truly brought me to tears!! (good tears lol)
user, there is a lot of wisdom pouring out to you right now!! it is the nature of the beast....we are addicts and those feeling of euphoria are not TRUE feelings!! those are the pills feeling, not you. you can do this....just hang tough!! best of luck and best wishes, my prayers are with you!! God bless xxxxxxxxxxx
user, there is a lot of wisdom pouring out to you right now!! it is the nature of the beast....we are addicts and those feeling of euphoria are not TRUE feelings!! those are the pills feeling, not you. you can do this....just hang tough!! best of luck and best wishes, my prayers are with you!! God bless xxxxxxxxxxx
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