Looking for reasons please

[user4]

This may just be the thoughts of a drug abuser, but what is the point in stopping the abuse?  I make enough money to continue the habit, have no family to damage, and enjoy my time on pills.  I've only been clean 24hours from a 3 year hydrocodone addiction, but I'm looking for a reason to stay with it.  I keep telling myself I'll feel better if I get off them.  I think I'll feel worse knowing that I have to go the rest of my life sober. What do you sober people look forward to?  That is my scariest thought.  What can possibly make you happier than drugs?  Sorry for being pessimistic, cynical, and a general jerk.  Please tell me I'm wrong.  I have to be missing the big picture.  

thank you guys for listening.  

[Kova]

OMG, you sound just like me about one year ago!!!  i can' tell you how much i went through that phase...give me a reason to stop.  well, now that i have i can tell you that life itself is infinitely more pleasing to me than any drug induced high. you don't realize when you're using how much it changes your personality.  and also, do you want to be a slave to a substance?  do you want to go through life with drugs being your only sense of happiness and pleasure, not to mention getting sick if you don't have any?

i hope you decide to stick with it.  real joy is so much better than any artificially induced short lived euphoria.

love and light,
Kova

[Kova]

also ochoked is right about the sex drive.  i cannot believe the difference in how it feels now.  when i was using i didn't care if i ever had sex or not.  not so anymore!  my  husband better keep taking his vitamins to keep up with me.  and music as well...  and everything i have ever enjoyed or been passionate about.  the passion is back in full force.  as my favorite author Tom Robbins puts it, i have my "syrup of wahoo" back.

Kova

[10356]

Your Liver might Thank you by lasting a long time.... lesa

[worried878]

kinda sad? the question asked about what do sober people look forwward to?  lots of things...and it sounds like u might be in the depression phase to even be thinking these thoughts..and that is normal after u quit and lasts up to months unfortunately for me..getting my endorphins going with exercise and the aminos saved me from thoughts like this lingering...cos i do remeber i had them as well...what is the point? as i felt so unmotivated  ...but this passes and u need some support..keep posting...r u doing aftercare?  what were the reasons u quit...cos if u were ecstatically happy, then u probably would not have quit?

[troubleinohio]

you've gotten some GREAT advice by everyone already. The only thing I can think of to add is.......you need to find out WHY you feel you need drugs to enjoy life? What is missing in your life? Do you suffer from clinical depression? You need to take a good close look at yourself inside and figure out why you cant seem to have fun without being high.
good luck to you and keep reading and posting here!

[sobermommy]

You have gotten great advice for sure. All I can do is share a bit of my life with you. My addiction was meth...and life was not fun anymore. Sure...there may have been bits of fun...but there was always pain...heartache and chaos involved too. I really couldn't remember when partying was only fun. My live was spinning out of control and I tried to make changes but couldn't seem to do it on my own. I cried out to God and asked for his help to get my life right. The next day my husband and myself were arrested. We ended up spending 2 years between county jail...prison...and prison boot camp (treatment program). Our kids were placed in foster care with my brother. It was a very sad thing. I had a hard time coming to terms with having caused so much pain and misery for the people that I loved so much. My kids had every right to hate us.

We have been out of prison now since Jan 06 and sober since going in Jan 04. I know in my heart that God answered my prayer that day. I couldn't do it on my own so He helped me get my life right. Now it is up to me to keep it that way. When you ask what sober people look forward to...for me, I look forward to waking up in my own bed...next to my husband of nearly 23 years. Who, by the way still loves me and I still love him. I look forward to talking to my adult kids everyday...and knowing that even though they have every right to hate me...they don't...they love me and we have a great relationship. I look forward to having a steady job and not having to worry about passing a drug test. I look forward to paying my bills. I know it sounds weird but after so long of struggling and spending money on dope...it is a huge thing to be able to pay them...on time...and still have some extras to do the little things.I look forward to living life my way...and being free to make choices for myself. Yes...life is simple and some days boring...but it is mine and I love it...I wouldn't want it any other way. I know this is my life and my not relate to your situation. I do hope you are able to find something to look forward too. It is hard to find sober activities to replace your high time..but it is not impossible. Fishing...camping..canoeing...taking walks...crocheting...spending time with family. You would be shocked at how nice it is to just do nothing and be able to be happy about it. I like my simple life...without all the chaos of my past life.  The most important thing...was to want it to be different. Good luck to you...God bless...Lynn