Aa
Moderate Drinking
I will begin my question by saying I know where Im eventually going with this in my life and I just want a few sides of the story before I begin. My question will consist of a rant and a couple different questions you can answer any of them and I appreciate any feedback good or bad.
I am a or was depends what dogma you follow a drug addict. Pretty severe IV'd coke meth heroin perks you name it i probably stuffed it in my vein. I wasn't alway an IV dude I prided myself on not ever using needles as if somehow that was the threshold that separated the "lost causes" from the people just having a bit of fun. Although I always knew people who got coke didn't immediately learn how to smoke it. My pride with needles dissipated quite quickly. Thats besides the point the point is I was pretty heavy into meth that was my drug in my final days about two years ago I was doing heroin with it because everyone i hung out with was but I never got "Hooked". It's been almost two years it's about 1 month away, my job is secure, I just bought a house, I'm happy legitimately happy. On the flip side I have also just turned 21 I was aresseted when I was 19 and I just turned the big TWO ONE. So why is that I can't have a beer? Catch up with old friends. Because 12 steps have branded me this forever lost cause that needs to go to meetings just to obtain a social life? I hate it so much what do you guys think be honest? I don't have much of a social life in or out side the rooms, why? Because I learned throughout these last two years I'm not that found of people I am an introvert in its entirety!! I'm proud of that. However I am not proud I used drugs like I did, ****** my family over, stole money, robbed, why do I have to relive it with a bunch of people every week to maintain a number of years with out a drink or drug? Why is abstinence the only way and the only thing taught.... I feel I have grown matured if you will. Please any feed back is awesome sorry for the mouth full I will go more into details of my feeling when i get some answers.
-Nue
P.S.
this is my first ever question on a forum!!
I am a or was depends what dogma you follow a drug addict. Pretty severe IV'd coke meth heroin perks you name it i probably stuffed it in my vein. I wasn't alway an IV dude I prided myself on not ever using needles as if somehow that was the threshold that separated the "lost causes" from the people just having a bit of fun. Although I always knew people who got coke didn't immediately learn how to smoke it. My pride with needles dissipated quite quickly. Thats besides the point the point is I was pretty heavy into meth that was my drug in my final days about two years ago I was doing heroin with it because everyone i hung out with was but I never got "Hooked". It's been almost two years it's about 1 month away, my job is secure, I just bought a house, I'm happy legitimately happy. On the flip side I have also just turned 21 I was aresseted when I was 19 and I just turned the big TWO ONE. So why is that I can't have a beer? Catch up with old friends. Because 12 steps have branded me this forever lost cause that needs to go to meetings just to obtain a social life? I hate it so much what do you guys think be honest? I don't have much of a social life in or out side the rooms, why? Because I learned throughout these last two years I'm not that found of people I am an introvert in its entirety!! I'm proud of that. However I am not proud I used drugs like I did, ****** my family over, stole money, robbed, why do I have to relive it with a bunch of people every week to maintain a number of years with out a drink or drug? Why is abstinence the only way and the only thing taught.... I feel I have grown matured if you will. Please any feed back is awesome sorry for the mouth full I will go more into details of my feeling when i get some answers.
-Nue
P.S.
this is my first ever question on a forum!!
That's real talk I'm a bit worried about that although through what I've read there's a line between drinking and intoxication I do not want to become intoxicated and in all honesty I don't know what I want our culture kind of molds us to believe a legal drink is the final hooray to being an adult and I think that's what I've been captivated with. Not the actual need or want to drink....
are you abstinent or sober? I believe sober thinking isnt questioning what substance you might not have a problem with, its all perception you probably know that, but are you at peace or are you lookin to manipulate how you feel?
i think it says in the big book , if you dont think you have a problem try some controlled drinking, if it dont work come back, .
the problem i find with alcohol specifically is ,,somehow it changes my thinking and pretty soon there's a needle in my arm and i dont remember puttin it there,.
i think it says in the big book , if you dont think you have a problem try some controlled drinking, if it dont work come back, .
the problem i find with alcohol specifically is ,,somehow it changes my thinking and pretty soon there's a needle in my arm and i dont remember puttin it there,.
It's your choice to go or not to go to meetings. It is an individual thing. I am glad to hear you are sober and staying that way. You should be proud of yourself. You can do whatever to takes to stay clean. There is no right or wrong. Just don't use. Best of luck. Let us know how youa re doing. there is always someone here to chat with.
I respect your response but I came here for something different I could go to a million different meetings to hear that or just call the guy I called a sponser once upon a time. I don't do meetings.... Still sober..... I literally only really hang out with myself..... Still sober why because I love myself and sure I have lapse in judgment with myself so I bounce ideas off of other people and get mixed responses and that helps I'm still sober and after this thread I decided I'm not going to drink why idk cause I chose this path and pride myself in being able to do so with out a room full of people telling me the only reason I haven't gotten high is because of them. 12 steps are cool and I get the point but I wont buy in
As addicts..if we are inside our own head we are in bad company. We just make bad decisions.One of the purposes of aftercare is to get around people just like you and to listen and have blind faith that what happened to them will happen to you. It is my opinion--and it is just an opinion-that your disease is screaming to you and getting ready for a relapse. We relapse mentally, spiritually and emotionally before we pick up a drug. I think you are well on your way. You are trying to justify having a beer when you know darn well where it will lead. One is too many and a thousand is never enough. How about that for a 12 step program cliché.
It sounds like you are still looking for that good feeling and think you will find it in a pill, a needle, a pipe or a bottle. That good feeling is in you..not in a beer bottle. You seem to be using your friends and their lifestyle as your excuse. You miss the good times and all that. I know this because I have done it and it doesn't work. How about another cliché...the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Sound familiar?
I am glad you found your way here honey and I hope you stick around and listen to these good folks. I wish you the best and hope that you make the right decisions.
It sounds like you are still looking for that good feeling and think you will find it in a pill, a needle, a pipe or a bottle. That good feeling is in you..not in a beer bottle. You seem to be using your friends and their lifestyle as your excuse. You miss the good times and all that. I know this because I have done it and it doesn't work. How about another cliché...the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Sound familiar?
I am glad you found your way here honey and I hope you stick around and listen to these good folks. I wish you the best and hope that you make the right decisions.
EvolverU you right back at you. You said some things that really made me look at why I'm here why I'm doing what I'm doing with all of this. I just want both sides of the story I want some to say "I did and I'm ok it's not all it's cracked up to be but I do it" but I also agree that I'm early on and this point is a high risk time for relapse and what's the point in relapse there really isn't one I've been drunk before I've had a drink Idk I just wanted to have a chat with people and listen to what they had to say instead of just slowly convincing myself one way or the other because I don't always have the best ideas i rarely have good ones I'll keep this up in the air for now and won't act on it
Thanks all!!
Thanks all!!
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
