Moderate Drinking

[NUE1145]

I will begin my question by saying I know where Im eventually going with this in my life and I just want a few sides of the story before I begin. My question will consist of a rant and a couple different questions you can answer any of them and I appreciate any feedback good or bad.
I am a or was depends what dogma you follow a drug addict. Pretty severe IV'd coke meth heroin perks you name it i probably stuffed it in my vein. I wasn't alway an IV dude I prided myself on not ever using needles as if somehow that was the threshold that separated the "lost causes" from the people just having a bit of fun. Although I always knew people who got coke didn't immediately learn how to smoke it. My pride with needles dissipated quite quickly. Thats besides the point the point is I was pretty heavy into meth that was my drug in my final days about two years ago I was doing heroin with it because everyone i hung out with was but I never got "Hooked". It's been almost two years it's about 1 month away, my job is secure, I just bought a house, I'm happy legitimately happy. On the flip side I have also just turned 21 I was aresseted when I was 19 and I just turned the big TWO ONE. So why is that I can't have a beer? Catch up with old friends. Because 12 steps have branded me this forever lost cause that needs to go to meetings just to obtain a social life? I hate it so much what do you guys think be honest? I don't have much of a social life in or out side the rooms, why? Because I learned throughout these last two years I'm not that found of people I am an introvert in its entirety!! I'm proud of that. However I am not proud I used drugs like I did, ****** my family over, stole money, robbed, why do I have to relive it with a bunch of people every week to maintain a number of years with out a drink or drug? Why is abstinence the only way and the only thing taught.... I feel I have grown matured if you will. Please any feed back is awesome sorry for the mouth full I will go more into details of my feeling when i get some answers.
-Nue
P.S.
this is my first ever question on a forum!!

[NUE1145]

I apprcieate your feedback really but let me give you a for instance on why I don't believe in all or nothing. I drink coffee in the morning one cup. Unless I go to the gym at 5AM and drink pre workout then I either substitute it for low caffeine tea or don't drink any thing else. Every once in a blue moon I'll have a cup of coffee in the afternoon and it gets me all buzzed and jittery! Lol I kind of like it but I only do it once in a blue moon I did once maybe 3 months ago and haven't since why? I mean if total abstinence is the answer and I can't control myself I should be drinking afternoon cups of coffee religiously and more so to obtain that buzz I got that first time I did it? Why don't I caffiene is a drug extremely addictive and with physical dependent qualities it's not the same as other drugs although from a strictly looking at chemical imbalance I believe it is

[spider6]

My bad...my iPad !!!!

[spider6]

Wow, that is a mouthful. Lol......well, 2cents worth.....I think you answered your own question. "You name it, I've probably stuffed it in my vein." There's one reason right there why you can't just pick up a drink.....it's an addictive mind altering substance.  You sound like a pretty intelligent kid....I think you just want someone to tell you it's ok to celebrate your coming of age......like all the other big boys do.  Your job is secure, you just bought a house; there's a couple more reasons for you to not be gambling with.  F*cked your family over, robbed, there's a couple more reasons.  Oh here's a good one.....it's been working hasn't it?

Grats to you on your sobriety and your first forum question.  Like I said, you are smart, you know the reasons. Continued strength and success to you.  :o}