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My Personal Journey... Update
So I am digging very deep and I still don't know what's right or wrong in my personal situation. I can't stand the constant pain, yet I absolutely can't and do not want to go down the path of getting addicted again. I know that takin the pills is only masking the problem with my spine but I just will not do a spinal fusion until I can no longer walk. I have been a nurse for 14 years, 5 of those was in pain management and I have witnessed first hand so many patients come in for pain management treatment that say they wish the never would have done it. Multiple people that now can not get around without the use of a Cain, both young and middle aged. I just can't do it, not right now anyway and I feel that I am in a catch 22.
I do " okay " not taking pain meds, however I just can't get out and do the things I enjoy doing. Most of those are spending time actually doing things w my girls. Even the smallest of things like walking the dogs or taking a short bike ride on the paved trail directly behind our home. I am sure you guys get the point. And, I pray that someone can truly understand how I feel and see how bad I am trying here! Trying to stay completely focused on my recovery, even though I am taking meds doesn't mean I put my recovery from addition on the back burner. It means that I am doing what I need to do right now to be able to live life all the while doing everything in my will to never go back to that dark hole, ever again! I really Hope that makes sense?!
As of now, the most I have taken of my Pain meds ( OxyContin 20mg )in a day is 2 and I am doing good with that. I am able to live somewhat of a normal life.. Just scares the Hell out of me that I will want more than that over time. In my previous post I mentioned my Mother and Husband holding them. She comes up every Wed (she lives about 35 min from us) and gives my husband 1 weeks supply then he dispenses them to me daily. That said, he puts 1 out for me every morning then he does not and will not give me another unless I ask and I am doing really well spacing the time between each one.. I am RX'd 1 every 4 hours, 4 times a day. Right now I have been taking 1 around 7 am then another ( often just a half ) around 3pm. So around 8 hours. Depending on the day and how my back feels often I don't even feel the need to take another one in the afternoon, or again, I may take a half.
I want to point out that I am in no way trying to justify why I need pills. I have posted to update the group with nothing but pure honesty and an open heart, open mind and open ears to suggestions. I am also still attending my meetings twice a week and have been honest with the group as well.
I just don't know what's right. I don't want to take pills but I also don't want to live in constant chronic pain where I can't get out and enjoy life. Life is too short and my girls are growing up way to quick. I think it's fair to say that I am very guarded with taking them. If I get to a point where I feel " more more more ".. Then I will pull myself off again just as I did before. I don't have access to them even if I wanted more, my Husband damn sure would not give me more than 4 a day and there's not a snowballs chance in Hell my Mother would give him any more than a weeks worth at a time.
I want to stay here, in the forums and continue to support and encourage others as it is Therapeutic for me as well. But....I am starting to feel guilty. It doesn't feel right when I am taking pain meds and encouraging others to live a clean life, even though I am not abusing them in any way. I also feel weak because I know there are many people on here that have Chronic pain as well, perhaps even worse then me. Yet they stopped the pills..
:(.. Maybe I am weak but at least I am strong enough to be honest with each of you. I just don't know. I am 33 years old and I just want to get out and live life and enjoy it while I still have somewhat of my youth.. And while my children are still young. They are both very outgoing and heavily involved in Sports. It's a challenge to keep up with that when I hurt so badly. Some days all I do is cry bc I know I will never truly be able to live the life I once did. Meaning the physical part. I used to love to run, to work out, ride my bike, coach softball.. and so on. These days should be the best Days of my life!!! Watching my girls grow and spending as much quality time with them as possible. It's hard to believe my oldest will be collage bound in 4 years! Time flys by so fast.
Just as it is said with detox and aftercare, one day at a time... And that's what I am doing now with my personal situation. One day at a time!
I would like to stay heavily involved in the forum if it's okay with you guys! I want to give back to newcomers what was given to me! I just don't want anyone to think " it's okay to go back to pills.. DTS did " I couldn't live with myself if that were to occur. My personal situation is just a little different, or so I think so anyways. Maybe that's wrong and I am most certainly not trying to make excuses!!
Lastly,
I want to say Thank You So Very Much to each of you whom have supported me so very much throughout this entire journey. Without each of you, I wouldn't have come as far as I am now!
To Our Angel in the Sky, IBK :
I miss you dearly and I have been thinking for the past few days..." What would IBK say ?!"
With Love,
Ashley
I do " okay " not taking pain meds, however I just can't get out and do the things I enjoy doing. Most of those are spending time actually doing things w my girls. Even the smallest of things like walking the dogs or taking a short bike ride on the paved trail directly behind our home. I am sure you guys get the point. And, I pray that someone can truly understand how I feel and see how bad I am trying here! Trying to stay completely focused on my recovery, even though I am taking meds doesn't mean I put my recovery from addition on the back burner. It means that I am doing what I need to do right now to be able to live life all the while doing everything in my will to never go back to that dark hole, ever again! I really Hope that makes sense?!
As of now, the most I have taken of my Pain meds ( OxyContin 20mg )in a day is 2 and I am doing good with that. I am able to live somewhat of a normal life.. Just scares the Hell out of me that I will want more than that over time. In my previous post I mentioned my Mother and Husband holding them. She comes up every Wed (she lives about 35 min from us) and gives my husband 1 weeks supply then he dispenses them to me daily. That said, he puts 1 out for me every morning then he does not and will not give me another unless I ask and I am doing really well spacing the time between each one.. I am RX'd 1 every 4 hours, 4 times a day. Right now I have been taking 1 around 7 am then another ( often just a half ) around 3pm. So around 8 hours. Depending on the day and how my back feels often I don't even feel the need to take another one in the afternoon, or again, I may take a half.
I want to point out that I am in no way trying to justify why I need pills. I have posted to update the group with nothing but pure honesty and an open heart, open mind and open ears to suggestions. I am also still attending my meetings twice a week and have been honest with the group as well.
I just don't know what's right. I don't want to take pills but I also don't want to live in constant chronic pain where I can't get out and enjoy life. Life is too short and my girls are growing up way to quick. I think it's fair to say that I am very guarded with taking them. If I get to a point where I feel " more more more ".. Then I will pull myself off again just as I did before. I don't have access to them even if I wanted more, my Husband damn sure would not give me more than 4 a day and there's not a snowballs chance in Hell my Mother would give him any more than a weeks worth at a time.
I want to stay here, in the forums and continue to support and encourage others as it is Therapeutic for me as well. But....I am starting to feel guilty. It doesn't feel right when I am taking pain meds and encouraging others to live a clean life, even though I am not abusing them in any way. I also feel weak because I know there are many people on here that have Chronic pain as well, perhaps even worse then me. Yet they stopped the pills..
:(.. Maybe I am weak but at least I am strong enough to be honest with each of you. I just don't know. I am 33 years old and I just want to get out and live life and enjoy it while I still have somewhat of my youth.. And while my children are still young. They are both very outgoing and heavily involved in Sports. It's a challenge to keep up with that when I hurt so badly. Some days all I do is cry bc I know I will never truly be able to live the life I once did. Meaning the physical part. I used to love to run, to work out, ride my bike, coach softball.. and so on. These days should be the best Days of my life!!! Watching my girls grow and spending as much quality time with them as possible. It's hard to believe my oldest will be collage bound in 4 years! Time flys by so fast.
Just as it is said with detox and aftercare, one day at a time... And that's what I am doing now with my personal situation. One day at a time!
I would like to stay heavily involved in the forum if it's okay with you guys! I want to give back to newcomers what was given to me! I just don't want anyone to think " it's okay to go back to pills.. DTS did " I couldn't live with myself if that were to occur. My personal situation is just a little different, or so I think so anyways. Maybe that's wrong and I am most certainly not trying to make excuses!!
Lastly,
I want to say Thank You So Very Much to each of you whom have supported me so very much throughout this entire journey. Without each of you, I wouldn't have come as far as I am now!
To Our Angel in the Sky, IBK :
I miss you dearly and I have been thinking for the past few days..." What would IBK say ?!"
With Love,
Ashley
I have been doing Physical Therapy and it has been a God Send for me. Just picked up on what to do and off to doing it by myself in the Rivers or Lakes and then to the Gym in the Winter.
Maybe you should go and check out our "Pain Management Group"..You might get some great info to help you out.
I too was hurting so bad that I could not walk. I started to think about the Pills for Pain. I had to take a BIG step back and really think to myself is it for Pain or is my Addicting Brain or Mid-Brain the Pleasure center wanting Pleasure and using this for an excuse. For me it was. I am not as BAD in pain as MANY of YOU are on here..YOU do what you think is right. I just can not go down that road because I am a old time abuser and user. I wish you all the best and Pray you can find some kind of answer.
Bless
Vickie
Maybe you should go and check out our "Pain Management Group"..You might get some great info to help you out.
I too was hurting so bad that I could not walk. I started to think about the Pills for Pain. I had to take a BIG step back and really think to myself is it for Pain or is my Addicting Brain or Mid-Brain the Pleasure center wanting Pleasure and using this for an excuse. For me it was. I am not as BAD in pain as MANY of YOU are on here..YOU do what you think is right. I just can not go down that road because I am a old time abuser and user. I wish you all the best and Pray you can find some kind of answer.
Bless
Vickie
VI,said it first but I found in my PT that the pool took all the weight off my back I would swim some but just hang on the deep end letting my body float kinda weightless for 30 minutes or more felt great now was it great like Norco or oxcy nope but it was new great.
as an addict I could never have anyone hold the pills it would be a war eventually but that's just me I have to do without I wish you the best with the schedule you have set with family and you should not feel weak or as if you have failed its just that you have to deal with your situation your way end of story. best wishes
as an addict I could never have anyone hold the pills it would be a war eventually but that's just me I have to do without I wish you the best with the schedule you have set with family and you should not feel weak or as if you have failed its just that you have to deal with your situation your way end of story. best wishes
Me personally, can't take any opiate pain meds. Am I in pain, yes, everyday. But I manage it the best I can with other methods. I know if I had em, I'd take em, all and that is what keeps me away. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to think I wouldn't do that, but I know I would. I don't think I'd even be strong enough to have someone dispense them to me. I'd rip a house apart, or the person holding them, lol, just to find em. And that's why I stay away.
You made a plan, I have faith in you that you'll stick to it. But please, keep that guard up. That line is so easy to cross, as you know. If you feel yourself drifting in that direction, pull yourself out quick. I really don't think there's a right or wrong answer here, all you can do is trust yourself in the decision you made. Good luck to you! Take care
You made a plan, I have faith in you that you'll stick to it. But please, keep that guard up. That line is so easy to cross, as you know. If you feel yourself drifting in that direction, pull yourself out quick. I really don't think there's a right or wrong answer here, all you can do is trust yourself in the decision you made. Good luck to you! Take care
Ashley,
We have many similarities in our lives. I feel completely the same way you do. I am 34, with major chronic pain issues. I'm also in pain management and have struggled in the past with running short on meds early because of dependency/tolerance issues. I never did anything illegal to obtain more meds, but every month, it was a Rollercoaster of pain and WD symptoms. I would spend the first three weeks of the month living my normal life, taking an extra oxy here and there. Then, the last week of the month, I would have to cut it way down until I got my next script. That last week of the month was awful because I had very little meds left.
I constantly punish myself mentally for taking oxycontin and for being irresponsible with my meds. I think we're taught that being on heavy duty meds makes us bad people.
Last month, I lost some of my meds on vacation. I decided to suck it up and detox. I didn't want to be a slave to oxycontin anymore. I made it 18 days. Once I got past the physical WD, my pain got out of control. I have chronic pancreatitis, a liver disorder, and severe endometriosis. The pain got worse each day. I hated the mother I was becoming. I couldn't function. I couldn't work. And here's where we're exactly alike...I couldn't be with my 13-year-old daughter (who is a travel fastpitch pitcher). I used to be her catcher, her coach, and her biggest fan. I started missing out on all of that because I couldn't get out of bed from the pain.
It got to the point where my daughter begged me to refill my meds from the doctor because she wanted her mom back. I was grumpy, sad and realized that without the Oxycontin, I had no quality of life.
So I made the decision to refill my script and have my husband dispense them for me. I know that I didn't give life without meds a longer chance, but my family was suffering without their mom. I also didn't want to cut ties with my PM doc. It's tough to establish a trusting relationship with a doctor, and I didn't want to have to start over six months from now when the pain got worse.
So now I'm back to being a softball mom and working full time. I still feel guilty about needing the meds, but I know that my quality of life would suffer tremendously without them. I remain on this forum as a reminder of how quickly I can go from having the meds be something that dictates my life, rather than something that just improves my quality of life.
Hope this helps!
Michelle
We have many similarities in our lives. I feel completely the same way you do. I am 34, with major chronic pain issues. I'm also in pain management and have struggled in the past with running short on meds early because of dependency/tolerance issues. I never did anything illegal to obtain more meds, but every month, it was a Rollercoaster of pain and WD symptoms. I would spend the first three weeks of the month living my normal life, taking an extra oxy here and there. Then, the last week of the month, I would have to cut it way down until I got my next script. That last week of the month was awful because I had very little meds left.
I constantly punish myself mentally for taking oxycontin and for being irresponsible with my meds. I think we're taught that being on heavy duty meds makes us bad people.
Last month, I lost some of my meds on vacation. I decided to suck it up and detox. I didn't want to be a slave to oxycontin anymore. I made it 18 days. Once I got past the physical WD, my pain got out of control. I have chronic pancreatitis, a liver disorder, and severe endometriosis. The pain got worse each day. I hated the mother I was becoming. I couldn't function. I couldn't work. And here's where we're exactly alike...I couldn't be with my 13-year-old daughter (who is a travel fastpitch pitcher). I used to be her catcher, her coach, and her biggest fan. I started missing out on all of that because I couldn't get out of bed from the pain.
It got to the point where my daughter begged me to refill my meds from the doctor because she wanted her mom back. I was grumpy, sad and realized that without the Oxycontin, I had no quality of life.
So I made the decision to refill my script and have my husband dispense them for me. I know that I didn't give life without meds a longer chance, but my family was suffering without their mom. I also didn't want to cut ties with my PM doc. It's tough to establish a trusting relationship with a doctor, and I didn't want to have to start over six months from now when the pain got worse.
So now I'm back to being a softball mom and working full time. I still feel guilty about needing the meds, but I know that my quality of life would suffer tremendously without them. I remain on this forum as a reminder of how quickly I can go from having the meds be something that dictates my life, rather than something that just improves my quality of life.
Hope this helps!
Michelle
Ashley, I've quit posting and coming here for the same reason. I'm in such pain I can't walk or get out of bed without 2, 10mg hydrocodone a day. Then it makes it manageable. but I feel guilty about it like you do. I don't want to be two faced about all this and I want to help others, (I'm 73) life is too short to hurt all the time. There is still things I want to do in life. Like be a wife to my husband. So I'll wait and see what the others say to you. You have my support. God Bless You
Ashley how are you feeling tonight? Been praying for you. Please don't feel guilty about trying to live even if that means taking meds. Oh I pm you.
there should never be guilt in doing the right thing , this is a substance ABUSE forum and has help many live pill free but there should be no shame in cleaning up your act and getting back on track the problem is it sends mixed messages to those struggling that's just my opinion. so giving support to those that need it is fine but taking pills and telling others not to for better or for worse is messed up lets just say you want to help those that need it maybe leaving out your vise is more supportive.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ashley and tooter~
Heres the deal ladies........This is a Substance Abuse forum but neither of you are abusing the substance. You both have health issues that require pain meds. Both of you have a plan in place. Noone should have to suffer as that does affect everything in our life. Stay vigilant in your recovery so your addiction doesnt start talking to you. That is what IBK would say to you~
Heres the deal ladies........This is a Substance Abuse forum but neither of you are abusing the substance. You both have health issues that require pain meds. Both of you have a plan in place. Noone should have to suffer as that does affect everything in our life. Stay vigilant in your recovery so your addiction doesnt start talking to you. That is what IBK would say to you~
Thank you!!!! I want nothing more than to be sober and pain free but I can't have both so the next best thing is to be in less pain and still clear minded. Now I can go about my business and not carry that guilt around thinking I'm just a junkie waiting for the next pill. I am aware of the fact I am a junkie and won't ever forget that. I pray I'll always ask before I take a pill "if I really need this one for pain or not". ( They don't give me a high). I now know pills don't fix anything. They can and do take so much away from you. I'm glad to be back among the real world and being a part of it as messed up as it is. So thank you Sarah for making me feel okay about my decision. God Bless you
"My bad back days will come and go and I will take them as they come as so many here do, pill free! For today, 1 more day, I am pill free! I have a long road ahead of me I know but I am forever dedicatedtostop "
You wrote the above on August 8th. What happened to change your dedication in the last several weeks?
You wrote the above on August 8th. What happened to change your dedication in the last several weeks?
First, I want to say Thank You to each of you!
I am still here and I have been reading post daily and of course, I have read each of these comments.
I have chose not to post, not to comment on others and in all honesty, I have had to force myself to even comment here. I have been very honest and open about my situation but feel as though there have been a few comments that have made me feel that " I should not be giving others advice "... That's all I am going to say about that!
With that said, perhaps it's best if I take a " break " from this forum. I am still attending my meetings in which I have opened up to them w my current situation. They are by all means supportive!
Just a few more things..
I have not taken any pain meds in 2 days now as I did not feel the need for them. Just talking Ibprofen 800mg.
I have also tried everything possible prior to taking Narcotics which has included PT and the Water therapy.. These along with the above that I mentioned in my initial post.
Not only does my Husband dispense, but as I said, my Mother has the bottle!! She live 35 minutes for us and comes up here 1 time a week. When she comes, she leaves my Husbamd 1 weeks worth only. Therefore, the bottle is not in my house! I have not only 1 but 2 people helping me!!!
My husband only gives me one when I can no longer bear the pain, depending on the day. I also have to ask him! He does not just leave them out for me!!
@ puppies... You have pretty much summed up how I feel.
I really don't have much else to say bc honestly, posting does not even feel right to me right now. I understand that everyone has their own opinions and right now I am doing what I feel is best for ME!! Skipping the 2 days without pain meds was not an issue at all for me. Those days weren't too bad and I didn't feel I needed them.. I didn't crave them, didn't WD.. Etc...
As I mentioned in my post, my post. My plan is to take them only when needed and that what I am doing!!
I haven't even taken one today. My back hurts, but so far I am pushing through. If I get to the point I need one then I will take ONE!!!
Lastly,
What " changed " as far as me taking them AS NEEDED was the fact that first off, the move, the things that needed to be done. I am not lifting anything heavy at all... But the smallest of things have to be taken care of. If I stand to long, I hurt, if I sit to long I hurt! While I was " okay " being off the pills for a month, I still was unable to get out and enjoy the things in life I love the most bc I always have to be guarded on what will hurt my back. I want to ride my bike w my girls, and husband, walk my dogs, travel to watch my daughter play Fastpitch, and I want to note that she is a pitcher and has worked so hard for the last 6 years to be where she is today. Since I was her coach for many years and played Collage softball... She wants me there, she wants me to watch her pitch and she wants me to be proud of her, which I am and have been for many years. Traveling 1 hour to watch a tournament which last 6-7 hours on Sat than turning around and possibly do it the next day as well absolutely kills me!! Hell, being in the car that long is enough to hurt my back terribly and that's not even including being at the games for an entire day, then turning around and doing it again the next day!
I could go on and on but hopefully you get the point!
Bottom line is that I want to actually live life to the fullest, life is too short!! And if I have to take a pain pill or 2 on a given day then so be it. If I feel that I am getting to the point of " more more " then I will call it quits just as I did last time!
In closing.... With all the precautions I have taken, I am still
" dedicated ".... And I feel that is legitimate!!! To say that I am not, is unfair and offensive as I have worked so hard to get where I am today.. Not taking pills or only taking one as needed does not make me an addict! I am a recovering addict regardless of what others may say or think! I will NOT abuse my meds and if the day comes that I get to a higher point, then I am done!!! My Pain Management Dr is in agreement!
Nothing above I wrote is in any way excuses, though some may disagree!
Thanks to all of those that support me!
I will stick around and continue to read post but likely will not comment as some have made me feel that " I am not welcome to comment " on others post given that I am taking pills ( even though I have true legitimate issues with my back ) and live in Chronic pain. And..... I am taking less than prescribed and often even skip days that I feel I don't need them and get by with Ibprofen 800mg.
Thank You all again, and a Very Big Thank You to those of you that have taken the time to PM me!!!
With Love
Ashley
I am still here and I have been reading post daily and of course, I have read each of these comments.
I have chose not to post, not to comment on others and in all honesty, I have had to force myself to even comment here. I have been very honest and open about my situation but feel as though there have been a few comments that have made me feel that " I should not be giving others advice "... That's all I am going to say about that!
With that said, perhaps it's best if I take a " break " from this forum. I am still attending my meetings in which I have opened up to them w my current situation. They are by all means supportive!
Just a few more things..
I have not taken any pain meds in 2 days now as I did not feel the need for them. Just talking Ibprofen 800mg.
I have also tried everything possible prior to taking Narcotics which has included PT and the Water therapy.. These along with the above that I mentioned in my initial post.
Not only does my Husband dispense, but as I said, my Mother has the bottle!! She live 35 minutes for us and comes up here 1 time a week. When she comes, she leaves my Husbamd 1 weeks worth only. Therefore, the bottle is not in my house! I have not only 1 but 2 people helping me!!!
My husband only gives me one when I can no longer bear the pain, depending on the day. I also have to ask him! He does not just leave them out for me!!
@ puppies... You have pretty much summed up how I feel.
I really don't have much else to say bc honestly, posting does not even feel right to me right now. I understand that everyone has their own opinions and right now I am doing what I feel is best for ME!! Skipping the 2 days without pain meds was not an issue at all for me. Those days weren't too bad and I didn't feel I needed them.. I didn't crave them, didn't WD.. Etc...
As I mentioned in my post, my post. My plan is to take them only when needed and that what I am doing!!
I haven't even taken one today. My back hurts, but so far I am pushing through. If I get to the point I need one then I will take ONE!!!
Lastly,
What " changed " as far as me taking them AS NEEDED was the fact that first off, the move, the things that needed to be done. I am not lifting anything heavy at all... But the smallest of things have to be taken care of. If I stand to long, I hurt, if I sit to long I hurt! While I was " okay " being off the pills for a month, I still was unable to get out and enjoy the things in life I love the most bc I always have to be guarded on what will hurt my back. I want to ride my bike w my girls, and husband, walk my dogs, travel to watch my daughter play Fastpitch, and I want to note that she is a pitcher and has worked so hard for the last 6 years to be where she is today. Since I was her coach for many years and played Collage softball... She wants me there, she wants me to watch her pitch and she wants me to be proud of her, which I am and have been for many years. Traveling 1 hour to watch a tournament which last 6-7 hours on Sat than turning around and possibly do it the next day as well absolutely kills me!! Hell, being in the car that long is enough to hurt my back terribly and that's not even including being at the games for an entire day, then turning around and doing it again the next day!
I could go on and on but hopefully you get the point!
Bottom line is that I want to actually live life to the fullest, life is too short!! And if I have to take a pain pill or 2 on a given day then so be it. If I feel that I am getting to the point of " more more " then I will call it quits just as I did last time!
In closing.... With all the precautions I have taken, I am still
" dedicated ".... And I feel that is legitimate!!! To say that I am not, is unfair and offensive as I have worked so hard to get where I am today.. Not taking pills or only taking one as needed does not make me an addict! I am a recovering addict regardless of what others may say or think! I will NOT abuse my meds and if the day comes that I get to a higher point, then I am done!!! My Pain Management Dr is in agreement!
Nothing above I wrote is in any way excuses, though some may disagree!
Thanks to all of those that support me!
I will stick around and continue to read post but likely will not comment as some have made me feel that " I am not welcome to comment " on others post given that I am taking pills ( even though I have true legitimate issues with my back ) and live in Chronic pain. And..... I am taking less than prescribed and often even skip days that I feel I don't need them and get by with Ibprofen 800mg.
Thank You all again, and a Very Big Thank You to those of you that have taken the time to PM me!!!
With Love
Ashley
Hi there. So glad to hear from you. I pm you. Also maybe switch over to pain management forum. I just did feel so much more comfortable there. Just an idea. Keep up the good work WARRIOR! !! You are in my prayers! !
Please do not let this discourage you! You are a strong person and have helped so many in times of need. You are doing what you need to do for you. Like I said before only you know the pain you are in and living in pain day in and day out is not living your life! Your girls need you and you need to be there for them! I may get in trouble for saying this but I do not believe you are a bad person! Do what is right for you and if you feel like commenting go right ahead! I am sure there are a few people on here that are taking a pill here and there that are commenting it's just the fact that you were straight forward and did not want to hide any thing from anyone!
Love ya
Kari
Love ya
Kari
Ashley,
I'm happy to have found someone who relates to my story. The softball mom life is very taxing isn't it? Especially when your kid is a pitcher like mine! I was glad we were in our two-week "offseason" when I detoxed from Oxy. I don't know how to send or receive PM'S yet, but if you ever want to talk about pain, med issues or softball, I'd be happy to chat with you.
Michelle
I'm happy to have found someone who relates to my story. The softball mom life is very taxing isn't it? Especially when your kid is a pitcher like mine! I was glad we were in our two-week "offseason" when I detoxed from Oxy. I don't know how to send or receive PM'S yet, but if you ever want to talk about pain, med issues or softball, I'd be happy to chat with you.
Michelle
Why is this not being switched to pain management forum? I mean honestly we are all trying so hard to get off pills. I'm not trying to be rude at ALL. But I think this is a total conflict of interest to be posted on here.
Desperate4help. This lady has helped so many people on here she has fought the fight like a warrior. So now she's in need of support and compassion and you want to get her off site. Have you read all her threads? If not read them!# please have compassion for a fellow addict. She was so honest about her journey! I'm praying for you that you can find compassion and love for her!!!!!
I just wanted to weigh in a bit on some of the comments in this thread. I think it's a little insensitive to make the OP and some of the othes feel as though they are no longer welcome to post in the addiction/recovery forum. I'm sure they understand that there is a pain management forum where they can post about chronic pain. But I think some people need to understand that there is a reason for them, myself included, to seek support from this particular forum due to issues with chronic pain and addiction.
Just because the OP and others in this thread have had to resort back to pain medication does not mean that they no longer need support for issues with addiction. If anything, more support may be needed. This is likely not something that the pain management community can address. The overall sentiment that those who have had to resort back to their prescribed chronic pain medications are no longer welcome to post here has an underlying message that they failed in recovery. I believe the OP was seeking support because she felt a certain level of guilt for having to go back to pain meds and she was looking for your permission to remain active in the community. To insinuate that she is no longer "qualified" to help others in their recovery is downright sh*tty. Again, it gives the impression that she has given into addiction. The OP may be able to give great insight to others because being prescribed pain meds means she has to keep very tight reigns on the addiction demons.
It's not like any of us who have had to resort back to taking the minimal amount of meds prescribed on an as needed basis are on here discussing how to convince their docs to prescribe medication, or saying, "Hey, I took this pill and it gave me an awesome buzz!" I feel that chronic pain patients with addiction issues need a place to communicate too, and that's why they're here.
If you don't like their posts seeking support, then skip them. Don't post something making them feel unwelcome and act as though they're banished from the community.
I appreciate those of you who have genuinely offered me insight and support in the past. Because I'm one of the few on here who has had to return to taking pain medication on an as-needed basis, I'll take the not so subtle hints from some of the posters on here and hit the road.
I wish everyone struggling through detox and recovery the very best of luck. Your strength in facing the addiction is awesome!
Just because the OP and others in this thread have had to resort back to pain medication does not mean that they no longer need support for issues with addiction. If anything, more support may be needed. This is likely not something that the pain management community can address. The overall sentiment that those who have had to resort back to their prescribed chronic pain medications are no longer welcome to post here has an underlying message that they failed in recovery. I believe the OP was seeking support because she felt a certain level of guilt for having to go back to pain meds and she was looking for your permission to remain active in the community. To insinuate that she is no longer "qualified" to help others in their recovery is downright sh*tty. Again, it gives the impression that she has given into addiction. The OP may be able to give great insight to others because being prescribed pain meds means she has to keep very tight reigns on the addiction demons.
It's not like any of us who have had to resort back to taking the minimal amount of meds prescribed on an as needed basis are on here discussing how to convince their docs to prescribe medication, or saying, "Hey, I took this pill and it gave me an awesome buzz!" I feel that chronic pain patients with addiction issues need a place to communicate too, and that's why they're here.
If you don't like their posts seeking support, then skip them. Don't post something making them feel unwelcome and act as though they're banished from the community.
I appreciate those of you who have genuinely offered me insight and support in the past. Because I'm one of the few on here who has had to return to taking pain medication on an as-needed basis, I'll take the not so subtle hints from some of the posters on here and hit the road.
I wish everyone struggling through detox and recovery the very best of luck. Your strength in facing the addiction is awesome!
Great post puppies you can pm me anytime. I feel same way and have major chronic pain issues
I think anyone that wants to help and needs support should be welcomed. I'm pretty new here so I really don't know anyone, but I feel strongly that we should support anyone. Obviously unless someone comes on here talking about getting high or whatever that's different. Isn't the point of this group to have compassion for everyone because we all know what it's like? I also have chronic pain and am going to be seeing a pain management doctor. I don't know what will happen once I go but right now I'm clean and plan on staying clean. But because I'm going to be seeing pain management does that mean I shouldn't be on here? Please let's all remember what everyone is going through and remain compassionate to everyone.
First off, Thank you Luvdolphins and Puppies!
I have been on the forum every single day, just not commenting an honestly, I haven't felt like even commenting here.
Plowboy, Thanks for checking in on me!! I am actually doing good. I had not taken a pill in 4 days but took 1 today... Hence, AS NEEDED! I was doing some gardening yesterday so I was hurting pretty bad today.
During those 4 days that I was taking Inprofen 800, I felt zero withdrawls and zero cravings. If my pain isn't bad.. Then I don't take them.. Period!!! My Husband still has them as discussed in my initial post.
I just wanted to check in. There are many of you here that I care deeply for.
I am not even going to comment on the above, all I will say is that it down right ****$d me off!! I feel that I have helped countless amounts of people here through their detox, walked them through... That's all I am going to say.
Sadly, I have taken a break here for obvious reasons. To each's own on their opinions.... But, if certain people don't know me and have not followed my journey, then please refrain from commenting. That's all I am going to say!!
I am still attending my meetings twice a week! I suppose honesty doesn't get you too far with certain people and that's just sad!!
I am VERY proud of where I am today and I am also proud to say that
I am " a recovering addict "
Taking 1-2 pills a week doesn't make me an addict IMO and.... Let me say this again.. I have helped many many people here get where they are now!!
Don't know what else to say!
DTS
I have been on the forum every single day, just not commenting an honestly, I haven't felt like even commenting here.
Plowboy, Thanks for checking in on me!! I am actually doing good. I had not taken a pill in 4 days but took 1 today... Hence, AS NEEDED! I was doing some gardening yesterday so I was hurting pretty bad today.
During those 4 days that I was taking Inprofen 800, I felt zero withdrawls and zero cravings. If my pain isn't bad.. Then I don't take them.. Period!!! My Husband still has them as discussed in my initial post.
I just wanted to check in. There are many of you here that I care deeply for.
I am not even going to comment on the above, all I will say is that it down right ****$d me off!! I feel that I have helped countless amounts of people here through their detox, walked them through... That's all I am going to say.
Sadly, I have taken a break here for obvious reasons. To each's own on their opinions.... But, if certain people don't know me and have not followed my journey, then please refrain from commenting. That's all I am going to say!!
I am still attending my meetings twice a week! I suppose honesty doesn't get you too far with certain people and that's just sad!!
I am VERY proud of where I am today and I am also proud to say that
I am " a recovering addict "
Taking 1-2 pills a week doesn't make me an addict IMO and.... Let me say this again.. I have helped many many people here get where they are now!!
Don't know what else to say!
DTS
COMMUNITY LEADER
Here is a bit of advice....Take what you need and leave the rest. You are more than welcome to keep posting here and helping others. You are NOT abusing meds or promoting them so please stick around.
Thanks Sarah!
Your one of those " many " I care deeply for! You have been a major part in my recovery for a very long time and I Thank You again. There is no high in taking 1 pill when I need it, there's relief! I have seen a pattern throughout my years of being a member here and I am sure that you can relate... People come here new, desperately seeking help and we support them, walk them through those first 7 days or so then they are gone, not to be heard from again. I myself have sent PM's to such types of people only to get no response, therefore we can only assume they went back to abusing. For myself, an the others above in a similar situation, I think it's safe to say that if we were a using pills and getting high we likely wouldn't be here and would have " jetted " like many have in the past.
This forum, along with my meetings keeps me in check and remains a staple in my recovery.
Your one of those " many " I care deeply for! You have been a major part in my recovery for a very long time and I Thank You again. There is no high in taking 1 pill when I need it, there's relief! I have seen a pattern throughout my years of being a member here and I am sure that you can relate... People come here new, desperately seeking help and we support them, walk them through those first 7 days or so then they are gone, not to be heard from again. I myself have sent PM's to such types of people only to get no response, therefore we can only assume they went back to abusing. For myself, an the others above in a similar situation, I think it's safe to say that if we were a using pills and getting high we likely wouldn't be here and would have " jetted " like many have in the past.
This forum, along with my meetings keeps me in check and remains a staple in my recovery.
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