My Q was removed i think dont no wot i was thinkin sorry :(

[chuggy]

i just asked a stupid Q and now its gone from the forum i think it was
taken off i dont no wot i was thinkin askin that here anyways im sorry to
all i offended with that one!.....
i relapsed today not really sure wot to think i dont no if anyone here is in
the same boat maybe we can talk or if anyone has any words of kindness
dont judge i tryed very hard not to
once again sorry if i offended anyone with my last post stupid high me not
thinkin if anyone has some words thay always help butr i dont feel like stopin
usein any day soon.....

[Katrina81]

Dont be sorry. I do apologize if i came across as judgemental. That was not my intention. I am the LAST person to cast stones. I saw you had 3 months clean b4 ur relapse. Congrats on that. You should be proud. Can i ask what triggered ur relapse? Can we help get you back on the track to sobriety? NOBODY here will judge you. We have all been where you are. Do you want to get back to your sober life? How can i help? Keep talking chuggy.

[vicki595]

You've relapsed and I feel sorry for you. Addiction is one big baddie.  The thing is,we'd prefer you not be high when you post. Most here are in various stages of recovery.

When you decide to get clean,we'll support you and offer advice on getting through withdrawals. In the meantime,no judgment here...just decide what you want to do and post back.

I didn't see your other post. Read the forum guidelines though. You may have violated a rule of the forum.

Good luck!

[chuggy]

i didnt even get to read your post on my dumb Question it was removed but forget that
i dont want to no anyways really the last thing i need to do right now is get any higher
iv been goin through a few tuff things of late lots of life changein moments etc
and the first thing i wanted to do was use to help with the stress and i held off for 3 months and tonight was the night i gave in a took 10  30mg dihydrocodine got abit of a tummy ake now thow :-/ i will try and not take more tomorrow but i no i will as thay are there now it helped so much its not like i get violent or hurt anyone elce around me im a calm relaxed person and this just make me even more relaxed im only hurting my body
i  just find stress so hard to deal with i dont like myself wen im clean i have no enegy or get up and go i get lazy and depressed now i feel normal.... but in the back of my mind
that little voice is samein dam your doin it again and its not happy why is it that the voice of drug addiction is SO LOUD but the voice of clean livein is so quite i bearly ever
hear it its mute almost... sorry for the spellin mistakes everyone  

[chuggy]

Oh well thank you vicki very suportive of you i will just take my high arse off somewere elce were im not bothing you huh right now i need to talk not to be told to go away and clean myself up!! and whos we? are you speakin for everyone here? and yes the last post was stupid and im very sorry for that one im glad thay took it off...

[vicki595]

Okay,kiddo. Here's a loud voice for you: FLUSH THE PILLS YOU'VE GOT. YOU DON'T NEED THEM. YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER WITHOUT THEM.

Just do it. They don't help one single thing. Ever. If you think this is normal right now...go look in the mirror.  

Get better...it's work but it's so worth it!!

[dominosarah]

I hope you do decide to stop this soon.  We will be here to support you when you decide enough is enough.  There is no happy ending to living like you are right now.  Let us help you~~~~sara

[vicki595]

Hey...I didn't tell you to get your *** off of here. Quite the opposite. See!  That's what I'm talking about. Any ambiguous statement and you're belligerent because YOU ARE HIGH.

Stick around...others will post to you I'm sure...

[chuggy]

Wow thanx for that vicki you really helped... who are you callin kiddo?? please dont talk to me like im your child ok you really are not helpin tellin me to go away and make a choice and come back like this is on your terms i mean who do you think you are?? im here to talk to people in the same boat not be spoken to like that please dont post here anymore i dont want to hear anymore of wot you have to say thank you get over yourself love it people like you that get me to this point try alittle more tact and softness you have no idea why im like this or wot im goin through ok to be here so please no more of your loud terms and speakin for everyone elce here

[Katrina81]

I understand that when times are tough the pills get going. But you know just as well as i do the pills arent the answer. have you gone to NA meetings? we need to relearn how to cope with stress and every day life without drugs. man i know that doesnt sound possible. less than a month ago i was thinking the same thing. but with the guidance of my addiction therapist and the NA meetings and my sponsor im relearning how to do it. But you HAVE to be ready and really want to be done with the drugs for it to work. Do you think you are ready? Do you want to stop? REALLY stop

[chuggy]

thank you sara thats why i posted its nice to no people want to help im not just sitting here off my face im here becoz i no the people here can give me the words i need to here right now im not being belligerent becoz im high i mean who dose this woman think she is man.. not helpful i sed wot i sed becoz of the way she chose to speak to me about this im in a bad place i no it dont need to be told it like that am i right?

[dominosarah]

chuggy, vicki doesnt mean any harm, what caused this relapse?

[chuggy]

i did stop and i do want to yes thank you iv never been to NA meetings infact i have been on and off drugs or 15 years i think maybe its time to get help coz i just cant do this by myself :(

[dominosarah]

Just let it go okay?  Focus on what has brought on this relapse and what you can do differently so you dont have to live like this.......

[Katrina81]

Ok. Getting upset and angry isnt going to get you anywhere. Would you be willing to try and get some sleep and meet up her in the morning BEFORE you take any pills?

[dominosarah]

I think getting help would be an awesome idea.  You(we) cant do this alone.  It's okay to reach out for help.  We have buried many demons during our using years.

[chuggy]

Stress in my life lots of life changeing choices goin on right now its very hard to take sober you no i did this i went cold turkey 3 months ago and i was doin ok but it just gets harder and harder i really need help this time i need to go talk to someone maybe rehab iv never been good with dealin with stress as most of my life has been lived with abusive parents and partners im 28 years old and i still cant deal with it properly :(

[vicki595]

People like me got you to this point?  Oh my...I'm sorry.  I hope you get to feeling better. I won't post to you anymore by my choice. But,you cannot dictate who posts and who doesn't. That's not how it goes...and I'll ignore you now out of courtesy and nothing else. I can tell you're losing it.

Be safe...

[chuggy]

oh no no please dont get me wrong im not angry at all i just thort that wasnt very tactful and i didnt think it was fair to talk to me like that right now not wot i need as you no thats just not helpful im fine not upset moveing on :)

[chuggy]

oh my god who is this person lmao im not even close to loosein it oh dear please stop posting here you really are not helpin with your words thank you :)

[chuggy]

im just here to talk im far from upset and angry just lookin for support no need to come back in the morning lets talk about how you all got off drugs and wot helped you :)

[dominosarah]

Admitting i was powerless over drugs/alcohol and recovery care.......

[chuggy]

i feel very powerless over this drug addiction is the single hardest thing iv ever had to deal with how long have you been clean sarah? :) thnk you for being here means alot

[chuggy]

im goin to stay for a little bit but i will come back in the morning and i will before i take anything yes np

[dominosarah]

It will be 3 yrs in April.  Been alot of hard work and still is at times but it sure the he!! beats using anyday.  I am finally living and that is a wonderful feeling........