Need help but afraid of the backlash (oxys)

[Charetti]

I am a upper management professional and a single mother. I am also addicted to osycontin.  I get them from my doctor but have been buying percocets off the street to make the oxys last longer. Currently I am taking 5 or 6 20mgs a day and anywhere from 2 to 10 percs a day.  The only person that knows I am abusing my pills is my sister, who is also an addict and my 'dealer'.  Yesterday I told my doctor and although she is very concerned she didnt seem to have any answers for me.  

I need help in a few ways.  

First, how do I deal with the stigma and backlash of asking for help or detoxing?  Second, if I did wean first what would be the best timing/dosage change?  I will tell my doctor and maybe she will go along with whatever plan I propose, and I suppose I might have to 'bite the bullet' and just go cold turkey.  I dont know......

I am so afraid, I have never abused alcohol or drugs in my life.  I have been so proud of the quality life I have lived but as we all know, oxycontin can get anyone.  I am greatful for this site...it gave the courage I needed to talk to my doctor and I wil be here alot over the next while.  So thank you to any and all that respond.

[sid3]

Yes, god forbid you need surgery, I'm sure you won't be denied pain killers .

[Charetti]

Thanks to everyone for your responses.  My doctor is actually really great and told me she regrets and feels very guilty for giving me the oxys in the first place, she just didnt know how addictive it was at the time.  Now she is just giving me my meds weekly until I make some decisions.  Although I cant have someone hold my meds here I could have them perscribed daily, but I think the doc wants me to detox instead.

The longest I every went without was about 24 hours, was horrible.  By about 18 hours I was phoning people and telling them I was in horrendous pain and finally someone came through with some morphine. Gave me a stomache ache but stopped the rest.

My sister is actually taking much more than me, and will take just any other narcotic pill she can get her hands on.  Her withdrawal is much worse than the flu. She also nods off all the time and falls asleep with cigarettes often. Her floor in front of the couch has hundreds of burn marks. I am hopeful that after I quit she will join me, but need to let her make those decisions.

When this is all over will I be able to use pain pills for genuine reasons such as surgery?

[TakingAction]

Hey there.  You are on the right path now.

You seem to be going about things the right way.  Your doctor will most likely cut you off.  Which is a blessing in disguise.  A taper will decrease the misery, but ct will not kill you.  It's all about reconciling yourself to the fact that this will be uncomforatable for a little while, but you will come out on the other side a whole person again.

I went cold turkey off of oxys and percs.  As bad as it was, it was not nearly as bad as I thought.  Do not syke yourself up for a near death experience.  Though hard, I functioned pretty well.  

As far as the stigma:  No need to tell anyone at work.  I took a few days off and when I returned, just said that I was battling a terrible cold.  Go with Swine Flu!  Perfect.  LOL

I credit my success so far to this site.  It is a wonderful place to hang out while you are doing this.  You will find great friends, a helping hand and great strength here.  Soon enough you will be advising others on these very topics, which is really therapeutic.

You can message me if you like.  I might be able to give you some tips on how to manage those withdrawl symptoms.  Is your sister interested in coming along on your journey?  Stength in numbers!  Then you could lean on each other.

Take Care
Matt

[peaceinknowing]

You're commended highly for approaching your doctor with the truth. I truly hope that she's able to trust you from here on out in order to give you the proper care that some of us were denied because of our addictions. This is what happened to me, where my PCP closed the door on me as soon as I told him I'd become addicted to the pills he was writing me for every other week in large quantities.

There are doctors out there that are willing and able to assist you with what needs to be done from here on out, or you could take the route that me and other members here on the forums chose to do...which is go CT from the pills all together and let nature take it's course. There are so many medicines [vitamins mainly] out there to help you get through the withdrawls - or you can do it without like me and others did as well. I was so afraid to go through my WDs with medication. I felt so vulnerable as though I'd abuse anything after what I saw occur with the Percocet I was taking all day everyday for pain and energy and just for the the feeling of some sort of normalcy.

Keep posting as much as you can, and keep us posted on what happens next for you! Please know that we've all been in your shoes, and are always more than willing to help you with anything that you might need!

[corey411]

Welcome and congratulations on your desire to quit this madness. I also had a middle management job the first time I quit and was so worried about missing work. Thing is I started missing days here and there and it looked worse than just planning a week to detox and say I had the flu. I thought my world would fall apart doing this but My work got done by others and I managed to deal with the loss of income(I was out of sick time) If you can wean do like Jules said and have someone hold them. Don't trust yourself with them. You will feel yourself coming off of them but it won't be as bad and it will be over a longer time than just ct.
If my doctor wouldn't help me with addiction, I would get another doctor. Is it the same doctor that gave you the oxys. Were you in pain or is this just a feel good doc that writes scripts. Ones that will give them out for less than severe pain don't care anyway. My doctor is very tight with narcotics and I have had many painful surgeries and conditions. She wouldn't prescribe oxys unless I was dying.....and I keep her as my doctor for that:o) Best of luck to you. Corey

[Jules1866]

Hi Charetti,

I am a vp in my company, I did ct with my vics and weaning off morphin. I am not familar with oxys and if the dr will wean you off them, the percs I would do ct and pitch them. Once off percs, then you should find someone to hold the pills oxys and wean you off them. You have to want it though

god bless

[sid3]

I have heard of very few Drs that will continue to perscribe Oxys for an individuals taper plan. Knowing your addicted is usually followed by them cutting you off completely and giving you the advice to get help. Not to say this is what will happen to you, but just be aware that it may. Trying to taper is an extremely difficult task, esp. if there is nobody you can have help you by holding the pills and sticking to the plan. The longer one spends using, the more difficult it becomes to self taper, cut back and even go cold turkey. It's not impossible, some people can handle it with few serious wds, while others go through living hell and suffer for an extended period of time. What is most often the case is the physical wds usually last a week to ten days give or take. It's not uncommon for an addict going ct to be bedridden for much of the physical wds. Although it is not a favorable method amongst the members of this board. Suboxone treatment can be a vey useful tool in certain situations. it's not for everyone. It has it pro's and con's. Given the amount of oxy you've been using and your situation, it may be worth looking into. Let me know if you'd like to know more about my experience with sub as well as some of the people I've met who used it briefly to stop using thei doc..Sid

[leeisgettingclean]

how long u been using? do you use everyday? what is the longest between pills you have gone?