Hi Pete & Welcome back,
I am glad you found the courage to write. Listen, relapse is not a requirement but few people get clean without them. It happens and as long as you learn from your experience and take something forward with you then it is often not in vein. The mental side is what took many of us down and kept us using for many years. So many people tried to tell me about it but I didn't listen until I hit my bottom and then another and then another. Something clicked and although it has taken many years to get to where I am today, it was all worth it. I had to have blind faith and I had to listen to those who came before me and it was hard. But it did work for me.
Surely cutting off your supply is a step in the right direction. So, what are you down to now? Tapering? Refills left? Give us a little more information and we can guide you along and make suggestions.
Again, good to see you back and glad you posted. Hang in there--it does get better.
I appreciate this post a lot thank you for your helpful words even thought it was not aimed at me per say. Regardless Pete I am in the same boat you are. A part of me says to just go cold turkey but the other part that doesn't wanna feel pain and would rather be messed up says to keep using. There is a tiny piece inside that says wean off and it won't be so bad. I relapsed last night as a matter of fact. I took 18, 50 mg tramadol in a 24 hour period. I am wondering how much more will it take before my kidneys shut down or something equally as bad. Either way we have to be strong and push onward it is going to save our lives.
Hi, thanks Kleen
So yea currently I am down to 3 roxi 30s a day which is down from my max days of 240mg for 2 years until I did a 3 day quick taper and flushed em back on Moms day in back in May. When I look back now I must be honest and I believe somewhere in my brain being a addict I used not informing my Dr as a crutch which gave me comfort during the worst of the withdrawals.
You can do it Kell. I am halfing my pills at this time so I am taking it when I am used to, just half of the normal amount. I plan to go to 60mg this weekend and Monday letting go of them for good.