Needing advice

[ABL4ME]

I've been reading a lot of the posting in this forum on and off all day.  I've started at least 3 questions and was interrupted...I'm hoping to get this one through :)  My situation is very similar to many here.  I started taking prescription pain meds in December 2006.  To date, I take over 15 pills a day because of my tolerance.  Long story short, I had a long talk with my specialist yesterday.  She pulled my pharmacy records, which dated back to 2006.  I was shocked, embarrassed and very defensive.  After sleeping on her advice, I decided she was absolutely right, I need to stop taking the medication NOW...regardless of my pain level.  I've known for quite sometime that I had developed a problem, however, wasn't ready to face it.  The addiction has taken over most of my life.  I can't travel unless I have enough to last for several days, I can't do a lot of things simply because I am worried about running out of my meds.  So, instead of focusing on the real problem, which is my back, I've allowed the vicoden or the vicoprofen or the percocet dictate how I go about my daily life.  I realize I am cheating myself out on so much of my life because the drug has consumed me.  I have never had a problem with alcohol or drugs, therefore, I never believed something like this could happen to me.  My specialist gave me another prescription...to taper me off.  Yea right...someone who takes over 15 pills a day is not going to take 4 a day when there is a bottle in front of them.  My decision is to go cold turkey..starting within the next 24 hrs.  In the past, I've gone 24 hours without the medication in my system...so I have a good idea what the withdrawal is going to feel like...however, I have never made it beyond that time frame.  My husband seems to think it would be a good idea to keep a few pills in the house, in case the "anxiety" from the withdrawal is too much for me to handle.  My opinion, if they are here, I am going to find them, take them and lose my battle.  Does anyone agree?  I'm here because I really appreciated how everyone is so willing to help the other out.  I am hoping someone will be able to hold my hand via Internet (lol) over the next 72+ hrs or so.  I do not "think" it will be a problem for me if I can make it past 72 hrs...simply because I am determined to get my life back...but, I am afraid of caving in because we get soooooooo sick from the withdrawals.

Any advice given is so greatly appreciated!

[K Todd]

jms

Good Job!!! On Day 9 !!!

I was reading your reply to Amy, and was going to reply their, but just wanted to shot this over for you...

Day 9 was really the turning point for me, likewise. Day 9 was the best out of the previous 8....And after Day 9 it has stayed the same, except only gets better!!!!

Watch...now the days start flying faster than you think.....and my sleep returned to me on Day 11 ...8 hours every day since...

Keep up the Awesome Job, we all have fought with with everything we have....and we have takin our life back!!!!

God Bless You, and dont be a stranger brother!!!  (-:

Todd

[ABL4ME]

Sorry it has taken me so long to get back on here and thank you for being so supportive.  I'll tell ya, if I don't crave a pill while watching this nail biting football...I NEVER will!!  Everyone did a great job keeping me focused and gave me the Faith to believe in myself, which was a lot of the problem.  My day 8 is great...yesterday was horrible for me, but that's history.  I am going to continue to pray that every day gets even better then today AND keep in touch with all of you.

As for a rainbow today...I found a knock on my door hilarious this morning.  My neighbor's are used to seeing me frequently throughout the day.  Of course, the past 7  days (now 8), the first 3 in bed for the most part, I was MIA.  My daughter told me a few days ago that people were asking if I was OK.  My daughter said "oh mommy has a REALLY bad flu." lol  This leads up to the knock on the door. I am enjoying my 2 hours of sleep when I hear a the "knock."  I get up, of course looking horrible because prior to my 2 hrs of sleep...I think I was going on over 48 hrs w/out...(lol history right), open the door and there stands one of my neighbors with with food.  "Amy we heard you were very sick so we thought we'd (the neighbor's) bring you food."  I got a big container of chili, 2 steaks and an apple pie.  It took everything I had in me not to laugh uncontrollably.  All I could think is....these people think I am dying...little do they know I am living better then I have in close to 3 years.  So there ya go...hope you enjoyed that one...LOL

jms I always love to hear from you...please keep posting!
God Bless You and Stay Strong!
~Amy

p.s. WTG on Day 9!!  Double digits tomorrow!!!  Remember when Todd posted his double digits...tomorrow it's your turn...next day mine, along with a few others...WOW what a great team!

[Enough22]

PS - (I meant to write this within my send-off line) -- I look forward to reading about your next "rainbow", whatever it may be ....

[Enough22]

Just wanted to give you a preemptive "congrats" on your Day 8 .. I'm sure you're feeling even better today.  My D8 was interesting, in that I actually felt a little worse than I did the previous 2 days.  That noted, today is my Day 9, and I hope you experience it tomorrow just as I am -- I'm feeling a clarity today that I've been waiting and hoping for, although I know tomorrow, etc., may be a little slide backwards.  That's ok.  I know from what you write that you're seeing the kinds of things, and appreciating the kinds of things, that you may not have thought possible a week or so ago, yes?  After sharing what you did with me (2 days ago), I'm so happy for you.  If I was a big "exclamation point" guy, that last sentence would have a few on the end ....

So, here's a little contemplation for you which may or may not help and apply  for you -- As of this morning, with the 'good' start, I'm now at the point where I've chosen to look at this part of the journey as an interesting challenge;  What will today bring?  Will it be a "progression" day, or a "regression" day?  Frankly, since we're past most of the severe physical negatives, I welcome this new challenge of seeing what kind of day I'm faced with each morning.  Either way I know I'm one day further down the road, so that, in and of itself, is a progression, regardless of how I feel -- so we're ahead of the game!  (There's an exclamation point for you ..)

Stay as strong as I know you will, and God Bless ..
jms

[K Todd]

Yes...flush em  ( no dumbsters! )

Still proud you got rid of em real quick !

Love,
Todd

[worried878]

girl  u r licking this doomer drug...i am hoping u have no more in ur house...period..if u do..flushem...it is a mental relief and a power play....by flushing u take control away from those little suckers!