OK SO HERES THE TRUTH

[frustrated431]

i am one day off prescription pain killers see i have a chronic pain condition but my DR's are just being jerks and there is nothing i can do so now into detox mode igo i wish i could say that my boyfriend was supportive but he is at his wits end with all the mood swings and bitchy ness so now i feel alone and lost like i am in a cold dark room with no one or nothing i just had to finally vent this and tell someone thanx for listening
Steph

[avisg]

I know you are scared and this is going to be rough but we will support you all we can .You can and will make it threw this .Love is strong you two can get threw this try to keep looking forward things are going to be so much better .If you need to talk e mail me anytime .
avis

[spacecadette]

how are u holding up? let him know how much you love him and that you need him right now more than anything.  Once you get past this you WILL be a better person.  You will see.  But you have to stick it out and make a change.  As hard as it is to be loving right now, try to explain to him what u explained to us.  And if u DON"T get help, eventually he will leave you anyhow.  So get the help you need.  I'm sure he's more willing to work it out knowing that you are active in your recovery process and are willing to go to whatever lenghts you have to in order to be a better you and a better "you and him or.."US".Your kids deserve a good mother, he deserves a good partner, and YOU deserve a better life.  good luck.  keep posting

[CR_ST_NA]

it might actually be good for you two to have some time apart, i mean a lot of us addicts are co-dependent as well and this might be a good time for you to be able to just focus on you. if he really loves you, he will hang in there with you and do what ever he can to support you, even if it means time apart. i think getting the help you need and taking care of yourself should come first, you can't really be good for any relationship until you are whole on your own. you can do this. god bless, christina

[frustrated431]

thank you all for all your support but the thing is i have been absolutely horrible and a couple of weeks ago i told him that i would get help and well i never did and now he says that he cant trust me i know he loves me cuz if he diidnt he wouldnt still give me a place i would be out on my butt but he is all i have now and without him i know i cant do this i need him more than anyone or anything before i want so much to tell him and make him understand that i can be that person that he fell in love with but he jas never had to deal with anything like this before i KNOW that when i get clean i will be that person again im just so scared that while i am getting help he will find someone without all this baggage he does deserve to be with someone that can make him happy and not have all these problems that i have its just so hard to trust that our love is that strong and i have been so horrible to him lately what if its to late how can i live without him or live with myself knowing that i am the reason i lost the only man who has ever loved me unconditionally?
Steph

[backagain11]

If one of your concerns right now is your boyfriends frustration then what better way to give him confidence then being clean and getting involved in na if just going to meetings. After a while you"ll realize that you MUST do this for yourself and everybody around you benefits anyway.

[frustrated431]

because what if he just doesnt care or understand then what? the whole point is to make him relize that i have changed and can change i just dont want to lose him in the mean time i know that what i did was wrong and i should have been mopre sensitive to his feelings he has told me its to late he is at his wits end there is nothing i can do but try to move out and hyave somne time apart but i am to scared that he will just give up and find someone new he says that apart of him still loves me but what if that is not enough? i think its hopeless  and maybe i should just give up on everything including myself right now i just want to get drunk and forget what i have done