OK SO HERES THE TRUTH

[frustrated431]

i am one day off prescription pain killers see i have a chronic pain condition but my DR's are just being jerks and there is nothing i can do so now into detox mode igo i wish i could say that my boyfriend was supportive but he is at his wits end with all the mood swings and bitchy ness so now i feel alone and lost like i am in a cold dark room with no one or nothing i just had to finally vent this and tell someone thanx for listening
Steph

[frustrated431]

its over hes gone and its all my fault i cant get him back

[j34]

What did you do when you stayed clean for 7 yrs?? Go back to basics Do what you did before !! You can do this....

[dominosarah]

Getting drunk wont help one thing at all right now.  It will only make the situation worse.  You have to think about you right now and have to get yourself better with or without him.  I know this hurts but if you want that chance for the 2 of you you have to get your life in order.  Would he be willing to come on here and look around?

[frustrated431]

because what if he just doesnt care or understand then what? the whole point is to make him relize that i have changed and can change i just dont want to lose him in the mean time i know that what i did was wrong and i should have been mopre sensitive to his feelings he has told me its to late he is at his wits end there is nothing i can do but try to move out and hyave somne time apart but i am to scared that he will just give up and find someone new he says that apart of him still loves me but what if that is not enough? i think its hopeless  and maybe i should just give up on everything including myself right now i just want to get drunk and forget what i have done

[backagain11]

If one of your concerns right now is your boyfriends frustration then what better way to give him confidence then being clean and getting involved in na if just going to meetings. After a while you"ll realize that you MUST do this for yourself and everybody around you benefits anyway.

[frustrated431]

thank you all for all your support but the thing is i have been absolutely horrible and a couple of weeks ago i told him that i would get help and well i never did and now he says that he cant trust me i know he loves me cuz if he diidnt he wouldnt still give me a place i would be out on my butt but he is all i have now and without him i know i cant do this i need him more than anyone or anything before i want so much to tell him and make him understand that i can be that person that he fell in love with but he jas never had to deal with anything like this before i KNOW that when i get clean i will be that person again im just so scared that while i am getting help he will find someone without all this baggage he does deserve to be with someone that can make him happy and not have all these problems that i have its just so hard to trust that our love is that strong and i have been so horrible to him lately what if its to late how can i live without him or live with myself knowing that i am the reason i lost the only man who has ever loved me unconditionally?
Steph