What a fight

[GoodOldDays]

Hi everyone - been a while since I've been on here.  I always seem to come back when I'm struggling to read the posts.  It's odd because I always look for more information - actually easy ways out.  I know they don't exist.  Day 2 of no vicodin.  Yesterday was miserable, but I slept pretty good.  Today is just as rough.  No energy and depressed.  Typically when I stop using I feel improvement after 4 or 5 days, but as you know until a certain point it's brutal.

Sorry if I sound like a complete moron, but to those of you who have stopped using for a long period of time, do you genuinely feel like your old self again at some point?  Does your natural energy improve?  Do find excitement in the things you used to?

I definitely know I have less excitement in my life than I used to.  Overall I really don't find much excitement or enjoyment in anything anymore...    

[GoodOldDays]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond - much appreciated.  I have truly committed to quit twice before.  9 days was the longest I went.  Been using for 3 years, averaging 6-7 pills a day.

Yesterday I met one on one with a counselor who gave me some good information.  I now have to find an aftercare program that works for me.  Good thing is that today is day 4 and I feel better than I did the first 3 days.  Maybe tomorrow will be better, maybe not, but at least I've experienced something I haven't in quite awhile.

What I find very helpful right now is reading posts from people who have quit, found improvement, and have no regrets quitting.  That has me driven!

Thanks again and take care!
    

[NeverAgain127]

Hi...it takes some time, but at nearly 5 months clean, yes,I feel like my old self.

My energy goes up and down, and I'm able to really FEEL again.  I'll take this over being chained to opiates any day.   My body was literally, a MESS, after years and years on oxy.   It took a few months to clear up, but I'm pretty much back to normal now.

Good luck...I really hope you make it this time.  Have you tried meetings?  

My best,
Robin

[jifmoc]

Hi, of course you don't sound like a moron. I'm guessing you've been trying to get clean but keep relapsing? Can you give more info of what, how long etc.
Btw, did you cut ALL your contacts?

The questions you asked are identical to the ones I asked in my first few days of detox. It was so scary and I felt so...off. Very depressed. But that's normal. At day 2 you are not even close to normal. You are in the middle of acute detox so do not every think that this will be how you will feel for the rest of your life. You aren't thinking clearly and your brain is going haywire-it wants it's "medicine."

To answer your questions, YES. I feel "normal." Evened out. The excitement is different. We learn that what we were chasing is not real life. We want it exciting, and all the time, and that's not realistic. There is no way in hell I would be clean or sane w/o a program. No way. I tried and tried before. It's vital that you are in aftercare. Those are the folks that make it.

Keep posting and stay close.

[CRSeaside]

Everyone is different and your overall health and mental health will determine when you feel naturally motivated, happy and joyful again.
Personally, I struggle w bipolar disorder and ADHD. But my heart rate and overall health is excellent.
So for me with or without opioids life is a daily challenge.
  If you have no mental issues I believe your brain can heal itself faster.
  If you can see a psychologist that specializes in CBT that will be a huge advantage for you.
  Also books like The Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle keep you from looking back or forward. Keeping in the present moment is so much simpler in the long run. And really all we have is Now, right.
  Also get support. Here thru medhelp by posting. Or meetings or support groups. It helps to know we are in this boat together. Our fears and pains are the same. Understanding abounds. Thank you for your post. I have confidence in your recovery. Maxy