It's probably because you haven't had the first wave hit you. If you have stopped this long, chances are you still will go through withdrawals and you really shouldn't start back up.
It sounds to me like your getting extremely lucky here as "if" wd's were going to hit, they would have done so in the 15 to 24 hr window and lasted 3 days...You are being graced with "one chance" to avoid the consequences because by all rights, you "should be in the throw's of withdrawal. Walk away now and don't look back, but don't forget either. Mark my words, you are a lucky one.Next time, if you allow it to happen, you will get broadsided like a concrete truck hit you..I've played with alot of things over the years. I lived what you stated above that "well, nothing happened so I'll be ok continuing from time to time. How wrong I was..And I am not stupid..My 54 years have seen alot of things. But the way I got nailed by these oxy's? I was in danger before my first defense mechanizm ever got a clue...
Walk now...It will bite you,,and hard..
More than likely if you were going to have major withdrawals they would have hit you by now. Most of the time withdrawals hit within 12 to 24 hours after your last dose. When exactly did you take your last pill?
This isn't normal but it does happen on occasion although it is very rare. I've seen this before and they had the same outlook towards it as you do now and started back up thinking they were lucky enough to not have to deal with withdrawals. Nobody is that lucky. They were often back on here so p!ssed off that they didn't take advantage of the rare opportunity of not having to deal with withdrawals. It ended up making the withdrawals much worse because they were expecting not having to deal with withdrawals. Your abuse is not too low to where you wouldn't have withdrawals. You need to thank the Big Man upstairs for this, take this blessing with open arms and never touch one again. It's not so much the physical part of withdrawals that keeps us from quitting but the mental part. There's been countless people that have went through the physical withdrawals many times only to end up relapsing many times down the road.
Take advantage of this by going to meetings so you can start working on the mental aspect of addiction. Just because you're not feeling withdrawals doesn't mean you have to go back to using. If you go back to using you will end up taking more because of tolerance and your life will be turned upside down. Your withdrawals will end up being worse than what they would have been if you were experiencing this go around. You also do not know if you will be able to quit as easily next time.
Start taking the necessary steps to turn your life around now. You don't have to go through withdrawals to realize that your life isn't what it should be. Your life may not be out of control yet but guarantee it will be if you go back to abusing the pills. You don't have to lose your house, car, family or friends like many do to realize this is a problem. Take advantage of not having to deal with withdrawals or going through what I just mentioned and get help now. If you don't believe it can happen to every day normal people read through the many posts on here and you will realize that it can happen to anyone.
If I were you I would start going to NA meetings right away.
Best of luck to you.
I really appreciate the comments and the level headed suggestions. I took my last two 20's at about 6:00 p.m. Saturday. It's now approaching 4:00 p.m. Tuesday so I'm just shy of 72 hours.
Believe me, I'm as grateful as can be but honestly, I wasn't really fearing the physical aspect of it. I'd built it up in my head enough to where it was going to be similar to a week of having a violent case of the flu. The thing is though (and I read it here somewhere), it's something that I feel I need to go through to help with the mental side of the addiction. Like I said, there's a screwed up part of me that thinks there's no consequences whatsoever for my actions.
This is the first time I've had to "withdraw" from something so I'm not familiar with any support groups or meeting places. The concensus seems to be that I should look into them though?
Find pleasure in life, not pills..They create a false reality that takes months if not years to undo..Some people never get free and have to spend their days fighting the mental demon. Don't know where your at in the scheme of things but the first step is forget the false reality you seem to feel gets enhanced by useage and find your good feelings from waking up everyday and feeling the sunshine,,not a pill. If your in the realm of pills being a focus, then yes, go after the aftercare in some fashion or form. Because once that has a hold on a person, the real battle begins...
Hi there,welcome and congratulations!!!You've chosen the right path friend...stay clean.Stay on this site and post;seek an NA meeting perhaps in your area or if you're comfortable an addiction specialist.NA is pretty cool....sometimes it takes a couple tries of different groups to get the "right" one.And you don't have to share right away.By having an aftercare program in place you are less likely to relapse.And be thanking your lucky stars you're not experiencing w/d's because they are a b*#@h!Good luck to you;keep us posted!!~Anne
Thank your lucky stars! Do the right thing. If you don't I garauntee it will come and you will be paid back 10 fold. And you don't want thst. Take it from me, a 10 yr addict that has wd countless times.
Wow, I really want to thank everyone here for their comments and support. I have no knowledge of what I'm going through (or not going through) but nonetheless, it's still a matter of breaking an addiction whether I feel it or not.
Lack of physical symptoms aside, I'm beginning to realize that the big issue is the mental one. Honestly, I'm in the mindset of "I can't wait for the 19th" when the prescription can be refilled. Between now and then I need to do some real soul searching and stop myself. It's not going to be easy, especially with the lack of physical symptoms but somehow, someway I'm going to resist it. I'll let everyone know how it goes.
Me again, sorry. One question I forgot to ask, I keep seeing the abbreviation "NA". Can someone tell me what that stands for? I'm guessing the A is abuse but what's the N stand for?
Narcotics Anonymous. It's a support group where addicts help each other stay clean. They are wonderful and I highly recommend checking it out.
Please please leave the pills and no more refills ok?.. get on with life and realize that if you continue to play russian roulette with them its not a matter of "if" you'll end up suffering it's "when". It will happen. You have a rare opportunity here. One I'd kill for right about now. Take that gift, run with it and don't look back. I pray you never experience what full blown wds are like, it's hell and I wouldn't wish that mental and physical pain on anyone.
Your at the edge of a cliff, a few more steps and your free falling into addictive hell. Turn back NOW before it's too late. I'm not exaggerating here. It really gets THAT bad. Best of luck to you in making the right choice.
HI.....about once a month we get someone like you threw the forum.....count your blessings and thank God he spared you of some agonizing withdrawal symptoms addiction is not adout the pills its about the escape you need to figure our what your running from that you need to numb your self out N/A would be a good place to start it will help you get to the roots of your problems....this time you got a get out of jail free card let this crap get it hooks in you good ad deal and you will know just what he!! is like so dont tempt fait hook up with aftercare remember this is not about the pills they are a symptom of something much bigger good luck and God blesss......Gnarly
Gnarly, Tired and everyone else that replied, please know I appreciate it. I wish I knew the reason why I'm not going through it, it's now approaching day 4 and nothing so far. It's almost 1:00 A.M. which is my normal time to go down for the night and I feel just like I do on any other night around this time, oxy's or not.
More importantly though I wish I could say I'm going to take everyones advice to heart. Right now at least I can't honestly say that come Friday when the bottle is full again I won't be dipping into it. If anything this whole episode has made me think that it's ok to do so and unless I go haywire, I'll be okay. I know how screwed up that sounds but I can't seem to convince myself that it's wrong.
Hopefully between now and then I'll wrap my head around it and realize just how skewed my thinking really is. I'll keep everyone posted and again, I truly do appreciate the encouragement.
I love ya man. You remind me of me and probably many others who are here, but unfortunately most of us didn't get that get off free card.You did, and well like alot of addictive thinking goes "can't get me, no no". You may be faster, smarter or luckier but chances are you are more alike than you wanna admit. That is the problem with the addictive mind. Most people do not realize they have a problem until, they have a real problem. I'm sorry if this sounds condescending, it's not meant that way. I was way to smart to get addicted like I am. It happens to anybody who takes to much to long, and nobody knows how much or when you trip over into "uh oh" land. Don't fill that prescription my friend, don't do it. There is absolutely no good can come of it. If you don't take them somebody else will and these are not playthings. These are seriously powerful medications at best and lethal poison on the other end. You know, I know you do, that's how you found this site. You already suspect something isn't right. I hate to be one of those " I told you so" type's. But I feel that you pick those up and like so many of us, you'll be back in a month or a year or longer and the first line of your post will be "God, I wish I would have listened" to what these people who are speaking from their own experience were trying to stop me from knowing, how bad withdrawals and a lifetime of being an addict is really like. I wish you the best.
Petroglyph54 has summed it up perfectly..You finding this site was motivated by a concern and lack of knowledge..
I wish I had found this site about two years ago..At that time I was exactly where you are at now..It would have saved me from one heck of a bad ride over the past year..
Why it was I never picked up on this site I have no clue as during the course of the past two years I would look for info on wd's but never found anything that told me anything that I felt said "your headed for trouble..
Why I never tripped across this place as I went from link to link is a big question mark in my head as the keywords I was putting in one would think would have homed in on this...It wasn't until my prescription for oc 40's ran dry a week ahead of a refill last April that the concrete truck slammed me to the wall..In the 7th day, waiting on that refill date, I finally tripped across a link to a post that was in this site and started to read..Then it was a Holy S**t !!! moment..
I figured at the time I ran out I would have no problem getting thru the week as I never had any symptoms that concerned me prior and rationalized this might be a good time to get a true read on how bad a re-ruture of L-5 had gotten which I had been aware of for three years. I also rationalized that as long as my nerve did not act up in my leg, I was still in a safe zone with acquiring meds vs's surgery to handle the pain in the lower back which would hit hard whenever I worked it wrong with the physical nature of my work at the time...And the meds gave me energy and a euphoria which I liked..The perfect excuse to continue playing with fire as I had that "no big deal "thinking which you are also expressing above.
But about a year and a half ago, the euphoria started disappearing. My energy started dropping..So,,I just started upping my dose trying to get that back..Its a story that probably everyone in here can related to thats giving you advice right now.
I could go on and on about this but I believe I've said enough for you to realize whats waiting for you and you might be within a hairs breath of it..Crossing the line of no return..
Walk now,,You are at a crossroad with one leading to life, and the other leading to an existence of being totally dependent on the pills just to make it thru your days..Its a horrible feeling my friend. Horrible..And thats "WITH" the pills being taken once you cross that line..And your one small step from it,,guaranteed.
Don't get the refill..Change course now. Thank me later...
Thanks again everyone. Here's the issue with the refill, it's not entirely up to me. This is extremely tough to admit but I'm probably the worst type of abuser around. It seems like just about everyone here is addicted due to some type of pain. Not me. The only reason I'm taking them is for the buzz and that's scary.
My wife has been on them for years due to injuries she suffered in two separate car accidents. She got to the point where she too was abusing them, a one month prescription would last her at most 2 weeks. Her doctor of course became aware of it and was going to simply cut her off. I didn't want to see her go through that so I talked to the doctor and he agreed to continue prescribing them if I agreed to play an active role in the administering of them. He also wanted me to help her slowly taper down on them.
This was before I had ever taken a single pill, in fact I detested the things, I knew what they were doing to her so of course I agreed. This was about a year ago and it went great for the first few months. Through hard work and effort on her part she actually got her level down to where she was taking fewer than the prescribed amount. Every month there would be a handful left over and after she got her refill, I'd flush the extras down the toilet. About 6 months or so ago things were going real well with her program so I decided to find out just what the allure of these things were. She actually encouraged me to do so, just so I'd have a better understanding. Big, big mistake on my part.
You can probably paint the rest of this picture on your own. 6 months later she's taking one every now and then on as as needed basis, sometimes she goes days without. I on the other hand am now the one that's out of control. Me, the guy that was entrusted to wean her down and handle them responsibly is addicted. It's a miserable thing to live with, the addiction is bad enough but the outright betrayal of my wife and her trust is 100 times worse. And like I said last night, I can't shake the junkie mentality. Just this morning I reminded her that her prescription needs to be refilled in a couple of days.
Living with all this guilt and my new-found negative self image should be enough to make me give them up, especially since it appears I've been granted a pass on the physical withdrawal part of it. As of this morning though that's not the case, I'm convincing myself that I'll be much more responsible this time and I'll only take one here and there. I know it's all b.s. but man oh man, the psychological addiction to these things is just bizzare. The next few days are going to be interesting to say the least. Hopefully I can tap into some inner well of strength and resist them, we'll see.
Yep, I could tell right away. Your one of "us". Welcome to my hell, I'm off to therapy and will check back. Please print all the posts on this thread and frame them for your album, which you can share with anybody who still cares about you in a few years, when everything you love is lost or destroyed or sold, or pawned to get more narcotics.
Oh boy, I'll give you credit for one thing...You are being 100% honest about where your at and whats going on..Your definitely in a tough spot.
Without the joys of experiencing as Paul Harvey would say "the rest of the story", meaning the physical consequences you've been granted a pass on (for the moment),,breaking that bad thinking or voice in your head is going to be a very tough battle..
Where I drew my strength was from the "hate" I felt toward the drug as it raked me over the coals time and time again. I used that to my advantage to walk from them..They bit me so may times that the hate for the drug overpowered the desire to continue..You, on the other hand, have crossed the line into the mental half of this battle which is really the one that makes or breaks one's success in staying away from them and are at a disadvantage because to other half of their terror has not held you accountable (yet)
The only option I see is to get with a therapist or drug counselor if you cannot resist the calling they are doing to you at the moment. Or an NA or AA meeting to divert your attention..You've got to break that fixation on the pills you definitely have developed..If someone put a ple of them in front of me now with the state of mind I fought my way back too and continue to work on,,I would take a hammer and beat the living H*ll out of them and then probably burn them in my fireplace..They hurt me. They hurt me bad and it would be like revenge for all the crap they put me thru....Going to say a prayer for you..Intervene on yourself somehow, someway..You've got to do it now..If not, your going to get burned and burned bad..Um,umm,ummm...
You've gotten some very hearfelt advice. I,also,applaud your honesty. You are in a VERY bad spot right now and I ( as the others ) can just "see" how this will play out for you. It's not good. You can't do this on your own. Your head will betray you every time. In fact, it already has...
Here's a thought I'm having: Try not taking that Soma everyday and then let us know how you're feeling...It's also a real "badass" and is probably a factor in your lack of withdrawals.
Good luck and more!!
You're right and I know it. While it's not a foregone conclusion that I'll be dipping into the bottle again it is going to be tough to resist. If I take it a day (or an hour) at a time I just might pull it off though. One of the keys is going to be me not bringing them with me anywhere. Since they're under my control I've been taking them with me everywhere, including work. I'm definitely going to have to avoid doing that. If I actually talk to someone about this I'm going to have to start with my wife. More so than anyone she's the person I need to fess up to.
Regarding the Soma, I only did that the first two nights, one each night. They didn't seem to do anything so I pretty much just forgot about them. The only symptom that I've now noticed is that I get an occasional mild case of the chills. That just started today and it only lasts a minute or so but maybe I'm going to get nailed yet. Truly, a part of me hopes it does happen, that would play a big part in getting the mental part of it set right.
I doubt the Soma's have anything to do either way, with his lucky hand at cards!
Soma will NOT (or should not) do much to ease the Typical detox from opiate abuse. It's a muscle relaxer, and would not "feed" the opiate receptors in the brain. At the very best, it might aid in sleep. But in my personal experience, it did not.
OP is taking, or was taking 60mg of Oxy a day. That's enough to have caused dependency, but, if the OP is in otherwise excellent health, and young, it is possible that recovery will be easier than for certain others.
Also, the amount of "efficacy" the pills offered may have been low to begin with. If the OP'r's body isn't putting the pills to efficient use, it is possible that recovery would be easier by virtue of never having truly been fully exposed to the full doses. In other words, factors such as diet, body chemistry, metabolism, other meds or vitamins, might have created a tolerance to ir inefficient use of the drug, and then, an easier discontinuing from use of the drug.
Finally, I've heard more than once, that a person who truly HAS pain, does not/may not, react to opiates the same way as those who are not in chronic pain. Opiates do an EXCELLENT job of killing pain when being used for the first time. They are not meant for long-term use (as we all know of course), and the ability of them to keep working is diminished every time a pill is taken.
It's hard because everyone is so unique. But I agree with some of the others here.. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!
Congrats OP, on your commitment to stop, and I hope you continue that goal forever!
As much as I'm aware of Soma's effects on brain receptors (Gaba) the fact remains it's still a drug and an addicting one at that. It's a moot point now...
So,some chills huh? I hope that's all you have!! I have to tell you...I took opiates (not my DOC) for four months last year. I had a fractured leg... I took them around the clock,refilled them,and never did a thing without them on board. After 4 months,I was out (again) and just never called for another refill. I took Motrin. The End! LOL NOTHING happened to me. No withdrawals,crankiness,pain. I just walked (hobbled) away...so it does happen. The thing is,I wasn't mentally in love with them. That makes MOST of the difference,I think.
When breaking an addiction,the single,most important thing is to WANT to do it! The mindset is powerful. You need to get there. I agree with speaking to your wife about this. She'll understand. Then,you need to figure out who can be in control of her pills now. It cannot be you! Period. It just can't. Who is there to ask? A family member? A neighbor?
A friend? Start thinking of who to ask. A pharmacist may help you here...it's been done.
Keep posting. We all want to help!
Thank you for the above information. My daily dosage probably averaged less than 60 although I didn't keep tabs on it. They're 20mg pills and some days I'd only take one and I think that I only exceeded three of them once when I took four. Two a day seemed to be the norm.
Healthwise I can't say I'm in excellent shape but I'm not in poor shape either. Just average I guess but I'm by no means young, I'll be 52 this year. I'm not on any medications at all....well....except for these da** things but nothing else. Like I said, I wish I knew the reason why I'm not feeling much of anything. Yeah, at first I thought it was a blessing too but it's not, it's a curse. Again, I know this is "addict think" but without some horrible experience to look back on and say "wow, I never want to go through that again" it makes it that much harder to give them up. Add in the fact that financially the cost is next to nothing (they're all prescribed by a physician and covered by insurance) and it isn't a real favorable picture.
Does that make any sense at all?
Yes,it makes sense in an addict sort of way...
How about this: You're lying to your wife. You're stealing her pills.
Does that make you feel badly at all? (NOT judging here) Don't you think that's horrible to do? She trusts you and you're lying.
You're not thinking right. You love the pills. When you stop loving them,you'll move forward.
That's what you need some help with. We can't do this alone. ( Some will say you can but those same people generally just switch addictions). You need to talk with a professional about this. There are addictionologists who can really get your head straight for you.
The thing is,very soon you'll need more of the drug. Then,you'll need it just to feel normal.
You've got a small window here...just crawl through it!!
Ah, more info. That helps pinpoint where you are on this journey. I now see you have received more than one gift [ the get out free card], I wish they were transferrable, I want one. You are obviously a good man. Good ones like us don't need anyone else to make us feel guilty or beat up on us when we screw up, we do that to ouselves. I'm really glad your wife has been able to downdose her meds, for pain. That's where I'm at, miserable but getting down. Oxy isn't prescribed for occasional use, I guess you already knew that? Could she continue reducing what she needs for pain, is there physical therapy she can go to? It's helping me. I never took oxy for fun, I was/am treating pain, like you mentioned above. No one has taken a survey to see how most people get here addicted either thru pain management or just using. I think addiction is just that regardless of how we get that way. Although being in chronic pain and not getting relief from the meds is kinda a double whammy. I think most of the ones I take are so I won't be dope sick, that's that feeling that your missing out on. Richard Pryor said, [about cocaine] It will make a new man out of you, the problem is...then the new man wants some. I think that apply's well to narcotics also. I'm really glad that you are so honest, there are several things you arn't getting yet from the addicted mind. Many lose their honesty as well. You don't have to pick up that scrip on time do you? Put it off for awhile and get the temptation out of your hands. Talk to your bride and see if that works for her? Sounds like she might not need oxy anymore, that would be great. Again there just isn't any good that can come from picking up that scrip. I hope you keep us posted, signing off...Be right