Oxycontin

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

Hello everybody...I just wanted to put a quick question out there. As many of you already know I quit using Oxycontin Friday March 9th. Life has become much different during these past few weeks. I find myself sad and depressed one minute and on top of the world the next. I have been going to NA meetings on and off. I really havent had a good experience with the program. I call my sponcer and he doesn't return my calls. That hurts because I thought that NA was there to provide unconditional support. I get temted to use on a daily basis. The good thing is that I have a choice. I am not dope sick anymore and for that I am forever greatful! My question is this.........Many of us have been using for a very long time. We have to look at life in a whole new way. They say take one day at a time. I understand that but how do keep from falling back to our regular ways? You see when we stop using our minds tell us that we need to get our lives back on track. Get a job, do things around the house, reconnect with friends and family ect., ect. The point is thatI find myself really pissed off at the fact that I have wasted so many years just spinning my wheels. I have no direction and would really like some guidance. Any words of encouragement would greatly be appreciated. I know there are many of people out there just like me. Quiting using was the easy part....Now is when I need help. I just need a glimmer of hope! I belive that it takes tremondous support to change a persons life. My whole exsistance has been centered around drug use. How do you change a person like that? I look at every situation like how much better it would be to be high. I hope this make sence to some of you. I am really in need of help right now. I look forward to chatting with you guys. Maybe we could start up some more direct support system for ourselves. This board has helped many, many people. I think it is good to post our feelings because I think that alot of people can relate. My prayers go out to each and every one of you! Thank you in advance for your continued support! Chad

[cindi]

Hi doc,   I'm glad you met up with my friend the Wiz,,,what a wunderfulz wiz he iz....truly....ok,,,,11 years ago I went into treatment for opiate addiction.....I was not married, I however was in a terrible relationship and rehab did help me to see that I needed out.....but,,,while I was there I had developed some very intense feelings for another guy....not love nor lust,,,just "something"   but at first I thought it was something deeper...and I was not the only person to develop these "rehab romances" as they are called here in Ohio...(not the land of oz LOL) Please, remember I am not defending your wife's infidelity,,,,but trying to ease your mind and your pain. I know easier said than done....when we go into treatment we are not who we are,,,I crawled into that center, broken, tired, hurting and lacking everything,,,spirit and all   I was beaten down...so was everyone else there....we were all very vulnerable....the detox comes,  then the feelings start to come back.....and sometimes we latch onto the first person that is there exhibiting any kind of concern, compassion etc. for us or we latch onto someone who is hurting as much as we are...and then comes the "rehab high"  we are so into helping someone else,,,that we focus on them thus forgetting who we are and where we come from.the rehab high, we are are out to save everyone with a drug problem or everyone we think has a drug problem..we really are not in our own minds for the FIRST year clean...they tell us not to get into any relationshps for the first year.the fog is still lifting.... This person has an understanding and a bond with your wife in the sense that he has experienced this rehab gig, etc..maybe bond was the wrong word...a commonality....I went through this all, the rehab romance,,,(no sex involved in the center)  rehab high and then when i got out i had a whole new set of friends,,,all recovering....Please rent the movie "When a Man Loves a Women"  It is very good,,,Meg Ryan...deals with the recovery issue.....it really may help....This does not mean that you should let this woman continue to hurt you etc....this is your marriage though....maybe a support group for you my friend....I hope I have helped you to understand a little better,,,It is really early in the morning and My mind is just not awake yet....maybe I will think of soemthing else for you throughout the day.....Love to all  cin

[doc00]

Thanks Wizard, your prayers are greatly appreciated!!  I will keep you posted on the evelution.

[Wizard]

My last post was to you doc00. There is another "doc" Dan here and I forgot to put the 00 on your handle...sorry,
Wiz

[Wizard]

Sentimentel fool? Not! If she recovered and would come back to mother those children it makes you a Great FATHER and husband. Something about HONOR! I think there might have been vows? Sickness and in health,richer or for poorer, for BETTER or for WORSE? maybe I'm a sentimentel fool too? Doc, you just show me that you are a hero! God bless you man! good Luck with those children and I'm still praying for your family.
Power & Magick 2U,
Wizard

[doc00]

Thanks wizard!!  I see no signs of anything changing in the near future.  Our divorce is final on the 19th.  I just hope by the grace of God that maybe she will show some signs of change before it's too late.  The funny thing is that even through the infadelity I would take her back with open ams.  Does that make me a dedicated husband or a sentamental fool?

[Wizard]

What a sad story doc :-(. 12 days in patient doesn't sound like enough time to totally detox anything to me..eg. mental dependancy and all. Are you sure that they both kicked or are they using each other as an excuse to use again? It just seems so soon. When your using heavy you just don't have room inside to love anything but your drug. it's so sad when a spouse and children are shut out through no fault of their own. Getting them into rehab if THEY are not ready just doesn't work. ( I noticed you said you got her in with the help of family)It sounds like there may have been other forces at work here before she even went in for such an abrupt departure from family. Give all the love you can to your children they will need it. Hopefully she decide this is not what she wants to do and will complete a program come back home to where she is loved. doc, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Don't give up hope for the sake off the children be there for them.
God Bless you and yours.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light,
Wizard